Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,542
# 71
02-12-2013, 10:55 AM
@ hfmudd - Brilliant piece! Very well done

@beregga - With your explination above, the piece was made more clear. I enjoyed it and look forward to more from you

I'm still doing a little catch up and rereading here.
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 209
# 72
02-14-2013, 05:55 PM
FINALLY finished mine, after more hours than I care to admit of typing, editing, and near-rage-quitting . And the ending was just in time for Valentines too.

A couple explanations: Yes, Ibalei is both a Trill and a Telepath. She has the telepathy trait in-game, so I figured I might as well make it part of my story here. Second, the Athena has four duty shifts: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Delta. I wrote it this way primarily so that Bryan's crew always well rested and ready for duty. Although they don't survive long when the ship take a single hit for some reason .

For a general idea of the mood I want to convey in certain sections the following is the soundtrack I would use:

Arriving in the Nebula: Thomas Bergersen; Color the Sky (Dreams and Imaginations)
Crash landing: Jack Wall; The Collector Base (Mass Effect 2 OST)
The Takeoff: Jack Wall; The Normandy Reborn (Mass Effect 2 OST)
Back to the Future (no pun intended): Jack Wall; Jump Drive (Mass Effect 2 OST) Have I mentioned that I like the music the guys at Bioware use?)
Bryan's Proposal: Thomas Bergersen & Merethe Soltvedt; In Your Arms (Album Unknown)
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
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Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,945
# 73
02-15-2013, 10:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
FINALLY finished mine, after more hours than I care to admit of typing, editing, and near-rage-quitting . And the ending was just in time for Valentines too.

A couple explanations: Yes, Ibalei is both a Trill and a Telepath. She has the telepathy trait in-game, so I figured I might as well make it part of my story here. Second, the Athena has four duty shifts: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Delta. I wrote it this way primarily so that Bryan's crew always well rested and ready for duty. Although they don't survive long when the ship take a single hit for some reason .

For a general idea of the mood I want to convey in certain sections the following is the soundtrack I would use:

Arriving in the Nebula: Thomas Bergersen; Color the Sky (Dreams and Imaginations)
Crash landing: Jack Wall; The Collector Base (Mass Effect 2 OST)
The Takeoff: Jack Wall; The Normandy Reborn (Mass Effect 2 OST)
Back to the Future (no pun intended): Jack Wall; Jump Drive (Mass Effect 2 OST) Have I mentioned that I like the music the guys at Bioware use?)
Bryan's Proposal: Thomas Bergersen & Merethe Soltvedt; In Your Arms (Album Unknown)
Fantastic entry, only one thing seemed incongruous... As Bryan and Ibalei had been renting the apartment for a few weeks, pushing the crew to get the job done 50 minutes quicker didn't quite seem right, as there hadn't been any previous time contraints. Maybe having the submarine arriving before giving the order to get all hands on the pump, might make Bryan's urgency make more sense
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,542
# 74
02-15-2013, 10:59 AM
Marcusdkane said it right.

Still, its a great entry I think it is very cool you are advancing the characters both in-game and in fluff.
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 873
# 75
02-15-2013, 12:03 PM
hfmudd: Not sure what you had in mind for the soundtrack of your story, but I took the liberty of choosing a song that in my opinion really captures the foreboding and the sadness of your story. (It also seems to fit New York City itself.) Trust me...just listen to the whole thing. There are only a few lyrics, but when they hit...wow.

That song is Porcupine Tree, "3." ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GytDHQtVTXw )


For my entry, I have a few songs that influenced me as I wrote.

"Valtari" by Sigur Ros. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DnPtTzUb9s (An instrumental that says everything, emotionally, that needs to be said. The song doesn't go anywhere, to speak of. It simply is a place and a time.)

"Svyati" by John Tavener: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_P4UwGNdOT4 (I can imagine Alyosha listening to this in his quarters back on board his ship, as he tries to narrate this log, constantly backing up, deleting his work, and trying again until he is finally able to say something that he feels does at least some justice--or at least doesn't do an injustice--to the hallowed place where he stood.)
-----------
Do you like story-based Foundry missions? If so, please check out my mission, "Finding Lascaux."

Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 316
# 76
02-15-2013, 06:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
hfmudd: Not sure what you had in mind for the soundtrack of your story
I hadn't considered it, and I'm flattered that you took the time to. I also think you chose well. Thanks!
Join Date: January 2011
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 209
# 77
02-15-2013, 07:07 PM
@ marcus

As usual, ty For the suggestion Looking back over my story, I would definatly have to agree with you that it doesn't quite flow right. Of course I was usually writing these late at night, so that was probably not conducive to my writing .

EDIT: Adding some links for the music I used:

Color the Sky: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CveV2gkTj64
The Collector Base: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFf60ECWpzU
The Normandy Reborn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXCM0lZxh4U
Jump Drive: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGWYQY-EEnw
In Your Arms: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRQCXPXL4Os
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
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Last edited by ironphoenix113; 02-15-2013 at 07:18 PM.
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 412
# 78
02-16-2013, 08:13 AM
Hey everyone. I just want to say that I love the idea of a regular literary challenge, and I'll try to write/post my own bit shortly. Just as soon as I (1) think of what time period to land in New York in (other than the WW2 era), and (2) what I could use as the explanation for the time travel other than a random subspace anomaly.

By the way, when's the closing date for this literary challenge?
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 209
# 79
02-16-2013, 08:23 AM
@ambassadormolari

First of all, let me say welcome! It's always nice to get another new face around here Second, I believe this LC ends on this Tuesday. You can, however, still post your own entry even after it does get taken down. Thirdly, your forum name is awesome
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 412
# 80
02-16-2013, 08:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
@ambassadormolari

First of all, let me say welcome! It's always nice to get another new face around here Second, I believe this LC ends on this Tuesday. You can, however, still post your own entry even after it does get taken down. Thirdly, your forum name is awesome
Excellent! I'd better get writing, then!
And by all means, from now on, feel free to mentally read all of my posts in Londo's voice.
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