Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,300
# 51
02-21-2013, 08:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ marcus - *points to the nose* This LC was a chance for me to reveal a part of her past without getting deep into it. Just fyi - I wrote her bio in-game the day I started playing, so her experience prior to Starfleet was already in place before this LC. A small hint was seen in LC 35 (iirc).

Although I too wish the LC were weekly, I would not have made LC 38 if that were the case. So, I'll satisfy my writing "need" by taking the time in between current LCs by working on past LCs. Maybe my character(s) will make more sense later ...
It ended with Kathryn tooling up to on a mission to kickass and take names, didn't it? It was a good one I think for me, the problem I have with the fortnightly challenge, is I get ideas in between which I think have potential, and then the LC goes in a totally different direction Although as mentioned to GulBerat, I had a totally different initial idea for this LC, which I decided to not pursue, and decided to go down the route I did. I'm just hoping that by introducing Eleven, it hasn't taken away from the impact of Lambert's departure... That was why I felt it appropriate that the story end with him getting a proper send off, regardless of his actions on the bridge.
Survivor of Remus
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 318
# 52
02-21-2013, 08:50 AM
@Gulberat: Thanks. I intend to cycle through character perspectives for the next few literature challenges and give folks interested in reading them all a pretty good view of how the various interpersonal relationships between the characters work.

Our cast consists of the following, though they won't all get a spotlight.

Khas Ker'at - Arkathian. Dour and inscrutable.
Vionne Tarayl - Trill. Cheerful and violent.
R'ath - Reman. Intense and awkward.
Klath'war, Daughter of Klath - Klingon. Moody and disconsolate.
Von - Breen. Musical and philosophical.
Amanda Pike - Human. Focused and and reliable
Twelve of Like, A Bajillion - Borg drone. Sardonic and dry.
Doctor Agrippa Roma - Photonic. Bland and pretentious.
Floyd Lovegood - Human. Has seen things that can never be unseen.

Last edited by squatsauce; 02-21-2013 at 08:53 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,277
# 53
02-21-2013, 09:52 AM
@ squatsauce - Based on the descriptions above, I *DEMAND* a post for Floyd Lovegood!

@ marcusdkane - I hate and love to say it, but the edits to get Eleven some more detail did take away from Lambert, that the hate part. Yet, the love part is that I still think Lambert was handled well for his part and the revisions have made Eleven's introduction stronger.

Which, I still can't figure out Eleven of Twelve's tip-of-the-hat. No cookie's for me
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,105
# 54
02-21-2013, 10:32 AM
Marcus--Definitely think it helped to get some closure there for Lambert. One question: did you mean that he was going to Gre'thor or to Sto-Vo-Kor?

(As for the "porn star" thing...that was just something I was doubtful a woman would suggest, though I do think the new edit shows a bit more hesitancy to raise the idea, which does help some.)


Jonsillis--Liked your entry! I can see you're a definite fan of Diane Duane's Rihannsu series. Me too!
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


Sig by gulberat. Avatar credit to balsavor.deviantart.com

Last edited by gulberat; 02-21-2013 at 10:34 AM.
Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 361
# 55
02-21-2013, 12:11 PM
Quite a nice variety of takes on the basic concept so far. I'm particularly impressed by what appears to be johnsills' first post. Welcome! That's one heck of an introduction, for you and your crew, including Galan.

Still deciding whether (and how) to enter this one. If I do, it'll probably be introducing my third (and last) Federation character.
Join Date: January 2011
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,300
# 56
02-21-2013, 12:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ marcusdkane - I hate and love to say it, but the edits to get Eleven some more detail did take away from Lambert, that the hate part. Yet, the love part is that I still think Lambert was handled well for his part and the revisions have made Eleven's introduction stronger.
Thanks for the feedback I guess if it makes the piece stronger overall, then that's the main thing, afterall, the challenge is titled Lone Drone

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
Which, I still can't figure out Eleven of Twelve's tip-of-the-hat. No cookie's for me
In the 70s, there was a series called The Prisoner, where characters were known by number, not name. Recently, there was a re-imagining of it, which featured a character called 11-12 (pronounced Eleven Twelve). In the re-imagined series, the Village was a kind of 'group consciousness', rather than a physical place (very much like Unimatrix Zero) but unlike most of the occupants of the Village who had waking world counterparts, 11-12 was purely a product/construct of the Village, so could never leave it. To use an STO analogy, 11-12 was an NPC, not a player-controlled Toon... I liked the sound of his numbers, and thought it would make a good Borg designation. It was only laterthat I realized, that in many ways, the Borg Queen is like 11-12: A creation of the Collective, rather than a purely assimilated individual, and I figured that an interrupted creation of a new Borg Queen, may result in a separation of consciousness from the Collective, even if not a direct disconnection from it
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,300
# 57
02-21-2013, 01:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Marcus--Definitely think it helped to get some closure there for Lambert. One question: did you mean that he was going to Gre'thor or to Sto-Vo-Kor?
He was going to Gre'thor as a dishonored warrior... There's no honor in attacking a foe who cannot defend themselves, in kicking someone when they're down, and that's exactly what Lambert did when he fired on the damaged cube. Add to that the fact that he was acting without authorization, he had truly shamed himself with his actions, and would have definitely have been facing a court-martial for what he did... Then there's the way in which he dispatched himself... Both the hegh'bat and mauk-to'Vor, require a Second to provide the blade, or strike the killing blow, and while Amanda did wipe the blade on her sleeve as per tradition, Lambert did it all himself, which was against tradition, so some might argue that he had not truly redeemed himself, and he may well find himself on the Barge of the Dead... Am I disappointed that I didn't get to use Lambert more as a character? Yes... I thought he had potential to be interesting, but over the last few LCs, when I realized that Mayer was more Amanda's 'go to guy' than Lambert, I had to admit that he just wasn't pulling his weight on the crew, so had to go...

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
(As for the "porn star" thing...that was just something I was doubtful a woman would suggest, though I do think the new edit shows a bit more hesitancy to raise the idea, which does help some.)
I figured Amanda naming a specific person as a template would have been better than saying "guestimate a Human version of the Borg Queen's body", and equally, although I was tempted to have her suggest Meliden use herself as the template, I figured it may have come across as a bit sexual harassmenty, rather than complimentary Also, don't forget that in the Academy Days entry, there was the throwaway line that Amanda also liked women, so not such a totally unrealistic comment for her to make, but I'm glad that the revision worked better

Last edited by marcusdkane; 02-21-2013 at 02:57 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,277
# 58
02-21-2013, 01:39 PM
@ marcusdkane - now THAT is a way to link inspiration into the story
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,300
# 59
02-21-2013, 01:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ marcusdkane - now THAT is a way to link inspiration into the story
The silly thing, is that I hadn't even realized it until I'd written the initial draft of the additional material I was mulling over the designation, and thought that 11-12 could work well as the Borg designation Eleven of Twelve, and it was only after I'd written it, that I remembered that 11-12 was a 'generated consciousness' who was trapped in his environment, and I then saw the parallel to the Royal Protocol and the creation of Borg Queens I guess my subconscious writes better than I do
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,764
# 60
02-21-2013, 03:22 PM
At this rate, I'm thinking of having my KDF captain encounter Lambert during a retelling of the Fekri arc.
Quote:
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What should I wish upon the endless universe;
To be able to smile and forgive everything;
That's right, if we light up the dream in our hearts without averting our eyes;
We should be able to walk whatever tomorrow comes...

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