Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,778
# 141
02-28-2013, 11:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
@ marcus

Your not the only one who's crew is rather unusual. For instance, Kerry Avalrez, my chief Tactical officer, is a workaholic to the point where she finds work more relaxing than anything else; Justin, my Chief of Security, is almost drill sergeant-like in the way he commands when the shooting starts; Syiseda, the chief medical officer, is a lesbian Betazoid (more on that one in a future story); Six of Nine, my chief Engineer, is probably the most chipper Borg you'll ever meet, especially for being liberated shortly after being knocked out by Bryan on the U.S.S. Khitomer about three years before the present time in his tale; Then we have the Operations chief a Vulcan named Syfil (no further explanation needed there, considering the rest of the crew); and too top all that off, we have Ibalei, chief science officer and First officer, who is sleeping with her CO. And that's just the Athena's senior staff. You'll probably see a lot more of these eccentricities when I begin writing more about the Athena when the crew's off-duty.On-duty...well, it's pretty obvious Bryan runs them all pretty tightly when they're on duty, so he tends to let things slide when they're not.
To be fair, I'd say my bridge crew is fairly, dare I say it, 'mundane'... Sure, Chanos is in a group marriage, so has a kind of bromance/buddy in the co-husband, but that's culturally normal for Bolians, and I've only ever made one subtle reference to Mayer being gay, which just flowed as the dialogue was written. Ironically, not even my intention when I came up with the character name, he was originally intended to be a Ladies Man/D-Bag like John Mayer As for T'Natra... She... sits at the helm and does as she's asked (while looking smoking hot )... The only thing I've fleshed out for her, is that she likes to paint... Marcus had much more backstory, I was just worried about him being a Gary Stu, so he got the chop... It was only when I turned him over to someone else, that I actually thought "You know, he's actually not so bad..." ^_^

[Edit to add]
Forgot to say in all that, that your crew works rather nicely ^_^

Last edited by marcusdkane; 02-28-2013 at 11:30 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,974
# 142
02-28-2013, 12:06 PM
I'm still trying to get a sense for my bridge crew since I'm still only a few LC's in, and don't even have them all decided upon yet.

The two I know the most about are the ones that know Alyosha's secret.

XO and Chief Science Officer, Commander Chirithraz (Thraz) th'Valek is an Aenar, and his friendship and association with Alyosha goes back to the Academy. The two of them were put together as roommates, before it became known who the Devidians were. (Until 2368, Alyosha was simply classified as a member of an unknown species.) Unlike some who found out for one reason or another about Alyosha's secret, he was not afraid of Alyosha because as an Aenar, he was able to get a strong enough sense of who Alyosha was as a person to trust him. While I don't think they have always served together during their respective careers, they are very much like brothers.

Dr. Jiana Sei is a joined Trill, and the CMO. She is also Alyosha's physician, and has served multiple assignments with him. I don't know anywhere near as much about her background--mainly that she has strong xenobiology qualifications through a past host that give her the ability to study and treat exotic lifeforms, which as a matter of physiology, would include Alyosha.

Here are some others I know a little about...

Lieutenant Natanakar (Tanak) ch'Sherrin is an Andorian, and the chief of Tactical/Security. He strikes me so far as a very cynical, pragmatic individual, which, while that puts him at odds in many ways with both Alyosha and Thraz, may well also make him a very important part of the crew, acting as a sort of counterweight to those two.

Lt. Cdr. Temm is a Bolian who serves as Chief Engineer. I haven't really gotten to know him all that well yet.



Hopefully I'll have the follow-up story finished soon--but I actually know more about the five people in the enlisted mess who were present during LC #36, than I do about most of the bridge officers.



@shevet: You really capture Drake's smarminess quite well, and manage to make Section 31 seem like almost as serious of a threat as the Borg themselves, being able to overwrite people's personalities like that. They seem as bad as those Romulans who were trying to exploit Borg technology. As far as Three of Eight, I'm curious...is the fact that he still seems to retain a degree of individuality and free will to serve (and alludes to having betrayed in the past) due to some element of Kriegmayer or Forestal still being a part of his personality? It does make me wonder if he could become unstable again at some point in the future...



@ironphoenix: Yeah, "chipper" is definitely a word that comes to mind with Six of Nine. I'm curious, what factors contributed to such a personality, even without memories of a prior life?

Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Delta Rising: Reanimate? (Y/N) Review Series COMPLETE!
Proudly F2P. Sig by gulberat. Avatar by balsavor.deviantart.com
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,488
# 143
02-28-2013, 03:16 PM
@shevet - Yet another post full of awesome. Humbly speaking, I could not help get away from the idea of "rebirth" ...

@ mussapiens - Good grief, this was excellent suspension writing!

@ sparklysoldier - Awww Enala! Great writing that kept me glued to the screen.

@ ironphoenix - I really enjoy reading the relationship between Bryan and Ibalei as things happen around and to them. The story is more rich for it, I think.

@ gulberat - I'm a reasonably new parent and this tugged some. I also enjoyed the rich descriptions of Alyosha's perceptions of events (since the post was in first person). The starship action was great and is something I would like to work on in the future.
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 755
# 144
02-28-2013, 05:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
@shevet: You really capture Drake's smarminess quite well, and manage to make Section 31 seem like almost as serious of a threat as the Borg themselves, being able to overwrite people's personalities like that. They seem as bad as those Romulans who were trying to exploit Borg technology. As far as Three of Eight, I'm curious...is the fact that he still seems to retain a degree of individuality and free will to serve (and alludes to having betrayed in the past) due to some element of Kriegmayer or Forestal still being a part of his personality? It does make me wonder if he could become unstable again at some point in the future...
Well, there's all sorts of possibilities there... for example, why is anyone supposing "Kriegmayer" is any more real than "Forestal" was? Also, one thing that hasn't occurred to Tylha (though it occurred to me, and might well to Drake) is that Three of Eight's memory traces from the Collective probably include all the sensory memories that Tylha chose to lock him down... so he may not be quite so securely "locked" as they all think. Hey, it's a possibility.

I must say, there have been a lot of very strong entries for this one! I particularly liked mussapiens's story - the chipper, cheerful protagonist made a great contrast with the very tense situation. Nice one!
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,974
# 145
02-28-2013, 06:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ gulberat - I'm a reasonably new parent and this tugged some. I also enjoyed the rich descriptions of Alyosha's perceptions of events (since the post was in first person).
In some ways I approached the family situation when a victim of assimilation is found as being similar to what I've heard it's like for families where someone suffers a stroke, mental illness, or traumatic brain injury, given the potentially drastic effects on the personality and the cloudy prognosis. Fortunately that has never happened in my family, but it seemed like a sensible analogue to write from.

I'm glad to know that Gul Tassok's reaction may have seemed like something that you might see from a parent in that situation (though through the lens of what I see Cardassian culture being like).

Also glad you like Alyosha's perceptions! With a captain like him, writing in the first person is what I find works the best since you can step into phase with him and see what he really is--but also see who he is so that he does not become a monster.

Quote:
The starship action was great and is something I would like to work on in the future.
Thanks! Are there particular challenges you've had with starship action, or is it just not an area you've worked with as much?

Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Delta Rising: Reanimate? (Y/N) Review Series COMPLETE!
Proudly F2P. Sig by gulberat. Avatar by balsavor.deviantart.com

Last edited by gulberat; 02-28-2013 at 06:07 PM.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 146
02-28-2013, 07:01 PM
@ marcus

I was enjoying Marcus' story as well, particularly how well developed his background was. The extent of Bryan's is: He's a spacer that, just prior to signing up with Starfleet when he was 18, somehow crippled two Orion frigates with a single freighter.

@ gulberat

It's kind of funny, I was wondering myself how to explain it lorewise. OOC, it's primarily because, if I wanted 7 of 9, I'd just watch Voyager , but otherwise I'm not quite sure how to explain it. I was considering somehow referencing how she got into Bryan's crew in my LC, but then I'd start nesting stories even more than I already have, and then it would probably just get confusing.

@ cmdrscarlet

That's actually one of the reasons that I decided to start doing these LC's in the first place, as it gave me an opportunity to develop my character and his relationships much further than would be feasible in-game. Putting the focus on Bryan and Ibalei allowed me to develop that even further; indeed, it's actually gone much further than I had anticipated when I first started really doing these.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 147
# 147
02-28-2013, 08:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mussapiens View Post
Y'alls are doing great work out there. @superhombre777, I rather enjoyed your story - I like the interplay between your characters, specifically Hillel as a contentious and incredulous sort of person. It really gave the story depth.
Thanks! I've finally found some time to escape work and read some stories...

Your story reminded me of the Stargate Atlantis episode where Rodney is trapped in a puddle jumper as it sinks to the bottom of the ocean (which was one of my favorite episodes). You did a good job describing the feelings of frustration and desperation as the situation continues to decline. I'd like to encourage you to keep writing in these "challenges" so that we can enjoy getting to know your crew.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,778
# 148
03-01-2013, 06:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
@ marcus

I was enjoying Marcus' story as well, particularly how well developed his background was.
Thanks, that's always reassuring to hear, especially given my fears about him I don't regret killing him off, as I felt it was time to focus on a new crew for a new era, but if any LCs provide the opportunity, I am looking forward to potentially examining aspects of his past, such as his childhood on Vulcan or earlier in his Starfleet career, which was mostly spent in, to quote Doctor Bashir, the Bajoran Wilderness

Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
The extent of Bryan's is: He's a spacer that, just prior to signing up with Starfleet when he was 18, somehow crippled two Orion frigates with a single freighter.
Nothing wrong with a little natural aptitude Did he come from a merchant family, like Travis?
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,488
# 149
03-01-2013, 07:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Thanks! Are there particular challenges you've had with starship action, or is it just not an area you've worked with as much?
For me, it's the interplay between what's happening on the bridge and in space. On the bridge, there are several characters interacting not only with other characters, but events happening inside and outside the ship ... then there is the actual actions of the ships themselves. From my perspective, it's a complicated formula I have only tapped into in writing samples on my Fleet website (the LCs have not inspired me to "go there" yet, even though I could have).

So, to answer the question above, it's both Reading other people pull it off is inspiring and gives me a better feel for how it could be done. I guess I'm more inclined to focus on the people in these LCs. A ship is a character too, but it's a differnet type of character, if that makes sense.
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 150
03-01-2013, 08:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Nothing wrong with a little natural aptitude Did he come from a merchant family, like Travis?
That's basically the gist of it. His parents were merchants. He wanted something rather different, so he signed on to Starfleet. His parents were less than pleased about him not continuing the family tradition. Now that he's marrying a Trill...well... They referred to her as a, To quote my entry, "Spot head"
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta

Last edited by ironphoenix113; 03-01-2013 at 08:14 AM.
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:19 PM.