Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 608
# 81
03-10-2013, 01:08 PM
Welp, mine's up. Loosely based on LC #22. I love a good murder mystery... shame I can't write one, really.

Reading the others with interest, as usual!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 146
# 82
03-10-2013, 01:09 PM
designationxr377 - your entry was good and funny.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Fantastic entry, it ran the range from funny to touching, and was a fantastic read At one point, I did wonder where ch'Raul would have begun with Marcus... A grief-fueled Oedipus complex, a relationship with his sister better suited to a hill-billy, abandonment issues, and an almost pathological fear of rejection... Would definitely make for some challenging sessions
Thanks! Your entry was awesome. The discussion on Annika versus Seven reminds me of the Kirsten Beyer Voyager relaunch novels, in particular the first one, Full Circle. I won't spoil in in case you haven't read it. Of course, things in the STO timeline are very different than the current novel timeline...

Your knowledge on Vulcan culture is rather impressive. Right now I would say that my favorite Vulcan is T'Prynn from the Vanguard novel series. A Vulcan with questionable ethics makes for an interesting read.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,444
# 83
03-10-2013, 01:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shevet View Post
Welp, mine's up. Loosely based on LC #22. I love a good murder mystery... shame I can't write one, really.

Reading the others with interest, as usual!
Fantastic entry As always, there were no secondary characters, just well written characters
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,444
# 84
03-10-2013, 02:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by superhombre777 View Post
Thanks! Your entry was awesome. The discussion on Annika versus Seven reminds me of the Kirsten Beyer Voyager relaunch novels, in particular the first one, Full Circle. I won't spoil in in case you haven't read it. Of course, things in the STO timeline are very different than the current novel timeline...

Your knowledge on Vulcan culture is rather impressive. Right now I would say that my favorite Vulcan is T'Prynn from the Vanguard novel series. A Vulcan with questionable ethics makes for an interesting read.
Thank you I haven't read many of the relaunch novels, as the few I'd read, well, I didn't feel they realistically reflected how the characters 'progressed' from the end of the TV series. I know, it was self-indulgent of me to include her, but given the time the flashback occurred in, rather than have some other Borg Expert, I just thought 'why not'... and kept her peripheral enough to hopefully not appear indulgently used

Vulcans are probably my favorite Trek species, and I must admit, I was making frequent references to a Vulcan-English dictionary while writing As I mentioned on a previous page, I just felt that certain aspects would not have conveyed the full emotional content I intended had they have been written in English ^_^ Am I right in thinking T'Prynn is the Enterprise-E's new counselor who called out Picard on his flaunting of regulations and being an egotist? I absolutely loved the idea of someone standing up to someone of Picard's stature, rather than simply accepting his decisions as automatically right

Last edited by marcusdkane; 03-10-2013 at 02:11 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,343
# 85
03-10-2013, 02:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shevet View Post
Welp, mine's up. Loosely based on LC #22. I love a good murder mystery... shame I can't write one, really.

Reading the others with interest, as usual!
Ooh, tasty!

I love a good murder mystery too, but tales of political intrigue even more so.

I really enjoyed the settings you created of a post-feudal world just starting to cast off its ancient traditions. Your opening scene made me immediately think of Scotland, and as I read on I found myself focusing less on the story and more on the struggle of trying to preserve a cultural history while developing the future. (That's not to say the story wasn't compelling; its just that I found the world of Taserion more so.)

I'm still reading up on the adventures of Admiral Shohl, but I really like her, so far.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,825
# 86
03-10-2013, 04:02 PM
@shevet - very well-written. There's a reason budding authors are encouraged to make their first work a murder mystery - you can't get away with cheating at anything, your audience is watching and will notice. It can be a sci-fi mystery (Niven's "Death By Ecstasy", Brin's Sundiver), it can be a fantasy mystery (Randall Garret's Lord Darcy stories), it can be modern-day (too many examples to count) or historical (Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose), but mysteries have tight rules that must be obeyed.

Your story was a good example. As short as it was, it would have been far too easy to telegraph the ending, or to succumb to the urge for a twist ending (the exhibited personality of the first actor interviewed being a cover for a vicious plotter seeking to ruin the star of the play, for instance). Instead, you kept it tightly plotted, leading the reader toward the logical ending without utterly giving it away before you got there.

Also,
Quote:
"Stick to Hamlet on the holodeck in future," I say.

Anthi shudders. "If it's all the same to you, sir," she says, "could I go back to jail instead?"
made me literally laugh out loud. Well done.
-------------------------------------------
I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,203
# 87
03-10-2013, 05:32 PM
Shevet's mystery was very well done indeed...I enjoyed it!

I also really enjoyed the character of ch'Raul in superhombre's entry.

I should hopefully be ready to send someone a draft of my own entry for beta reading. I'm hoping I'll get it sent off tonight after work. Mine is definitely coming along. All I'll say is, this one will show you just how far Alyosha has come, to be where he is now.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 146
# 88
03-10-2013, 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
I had a difficult time deciding what to write about for my first literary challenge entry, with so many options to choose from. Then I read ironphoenix's entry on - appropriately enough - Saying Hello. So Here's my take on #21: Saying Hello; hopefully I've done an adequate job introducing you to Jesu LaRoca, his ship and his senior staff all at the same time. Please enjoy!

On a personal note, while I am an author, I'm used to writing novels, not short stories. And I know there are very many very gifted writers here. So please give me your comments and criticisms! Any input will be much appreciated.
Your entry was very nostalgic. I assume Jesu got to pick which ship would be his own and chose to live with the history?

I have no published fiction, and the longest thing I've ever written is my master's thesis (only 130 pages), so take my comments with a large grain of salt. My approach for these is fairly simple - make up one memorable event and build around that. I have the lower-budget episodes from DS9 (where they don't really leave the station or Bajor) in the back of my mind - focus on the character development. But one of these days I'll re-read the Star Wars X-Wing books and decide to write space combat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
As for the wounded warriors issue, I work with some of those guys and know many others. My best friend is a USAF parajumper (a combat medic who jumps out of helicopters in search-and-rescue missions) and he gets very depressed over how many guys he saves who later kill themselves. It's a gravely serious issue and I applaud you for bringing into the Trek universe.
I was thinking about Chris Kyle when I wrote this. It is a very sobering topic.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,343
# 89
03-10-2013, 08:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by superhombre777 View Post
Your entry was very nostalgic. I assume Jesu got to pick which ship would be his own and chose to live with the history?
Yeah, he has a lot of history on that ship - good and bad - which hopefully I'll get to delve into down the road.


Quote:
I have no published fiction, and the longest thing I've ever written is my master's thesis (only 130 pages), so take my comments with a large grain of salt. My approach for these is fairly simple - make up one memorable event and build around that. I have the lower-budget episodes from DS9 (where they don't really leave the station or Bajor) in the back of my mind - focus on the character development.
The way you examine and challenge your characters definitely reminds me of some of my favorite bits of dialogue from DS9.

Was degree in psychology, by any chance?


Quote:
But one of these days I'll re-read the Star Wars X-Wing books and decide to write space combat.
Writing combat scenes actually springs to me easier than anything else. Trying to flesh out relationships - an area where you and marcusdkane particularly excel - is actually the biggest challenge for me.

I had written that little simulation at the end as part of a separate piece and reworked it and toned down the intensity to tack it on to this story as just an exercise. I thought it would be a good way to show of some of the bridge crew in action (and also illustrate that the refit Tiburon is a real powerhouse.)


Quote:
I was thinking about Chris Kyle when I wrote this. It is a very sobering topic.
Yeah, I have his book. It's heartbreaking stuff.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 208
# 90
03-11-2013, 05:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ knightraider6 - That was really fun to read and definitely what I think Q (both of them) would be like. So, did you transfer from ity of Heroes too? Or do you play CO as well? I ask because of the reference to Millennium City. Also, did you reference Queen Esmerelda?
yes to both, have a couple of chars that went from CoH to CO, and that was the Queen Esmerelda universe that Q was offering to move her too.
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