Yes, DS9 is considerably larger than was shown in the show.*
This is because when it was playtested at "real" scale, it felt very small. Designers wanted you to be able to fly around the station, in and out of the rings, through the upper docking arms, etc. If it were proper scale, only something the size of the Defiant or smaller would be capable of that, and even that would be a tight fit.
ESD is actually not too small. Well, it is, if you're going by the bs that it can fit 8 galaxy's inside. ESD in game has roughly the measurements of it's canonical size. If you want to claim 8 galaxy's fit in there, then it must be some kind of Tardis.
K-7 is ridiculous, no doubt.
Shuttles are too large in comparison with regular ships. This is mostly so they are visible at all. If they were proper size, they would be specs on screen. They are, however, largely in scale to each other.
As for the ships themselves, I've posted a couple of these comparison shots over the years: http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8324/8...3a1beb19_z.jpg http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6043/7...cf6ea7c9_z.jpg
Each of these is a screenshot taken within 3D Studio Max, of the actual in game models of the ships you fly around, all stacked, side by side. Measurements have to be converted since all of our ships are roughly person sized in game. The final measurements of each ship is within a few meters of the canonical size of each. (Noted exception for the Defiant which actually has a pretty wide range of canon sizes between 120-180m. 164 falls within that obviously)
* Though all of those shots of the Ent D, and Defiant are out of scale with each other as well. When filming the show, a ship was whatever size they needed it to be for the shot. The only reason it's more apparent with STO, is that you can spend time comparing them, flying around, and looking at them in much more detail than the fixed shot you saw on the shows.
I feel bad for you, do you copy and paste this because i think i've seen you explain this like more than 20 times already, and it wont be the last.