Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 106
# 131
03-13-2013, 11:35 PM
Done at last! "Respondez s'il vous Plait" is based on Literary Challenge #9, Shore Leave, and, since Azera Xi's stories tend to be rather dark and focused on the Borg, this one breaks away to instead follow the rest of her bridge crew, with no mention of the Borg and Azera as a supporting character. It's a shame we're in the middle of March: just one month earlier and this could've been the Azera Xi Valentine's Day Special.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,764
# 132
03-14-2013, 05:16 AM
I was writing from work, and they banned google docs from the systems, so I posted up my half-completed post way before it was ready as a means to save it.

Only then did I realize I could've just PM'd myself the manuscript.

I apologize for this shoddy piece!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lt. Comm. Pion
What should I wish upon the endless universe;
To be able to smile and forgive everything;
That's right, if we light up the dream in our hearts without averting our eyes;
We should be able to walk whatever tomorrow comes...

I am V. Adm. Kha Yuung, and I approve of this message.
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,610
# 133
03-14-2013, 06:52 AM
@ khayuung - Shoddy my EPS conduit! I think it was a very good start because not only have you given us a few "quirks" to Kha, but also introduced an element of intrigue since S31 is involved. So, I'm looking forward to the rest and you have several days left

@ sparklysoldier - Forgive me, but I've just got to work and I'll be reading your piece over lunch
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,764
# 134
03-14-2013, 08:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ khayuung - Shoddy my EPS conduit! I think it was a very good start because not only have you given us a few "quirks" to Kha, but also introduced an element of intrigue since S31 is involved. So, I'm looking forward to the rest and you have several days left
I think you'd might be disappointed... Its part of the background of Task Force Seven that Section 31 bothers them rather often, so I was going to lampshade that a bit.

But not today. I'm focusing on that piece of origami. ^^;

I've shared this tentative wiki-ish document containing ideas and short nippets about the boffs, doffs, and starships of Task Force Seven. It also explains a bit of the history of the Esclarent, and Task Force Seven in general. I would add to it bit by bit as I play the game, so you can see that is just a bunch of disjointed facts.

I'd get off my bum and fix the document up, and finish this Redux, but the daily (ingame) grind just saps my sooooooooul...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lt. Comm. Pion
What should I wish upon the endless universe;
To be able to smile and forgive everything;
That's right, if we light up the dream in our hearts without averting our eyes;
We should be able to walk whatever tomorrow comes...

I am V. Adm. Kha Yuung, and I approve of this message.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,203
# 135
03-14-2013, 09:40 AM
@sparklysoldier: Just read yours! So Azera is technically a teenager? Is that reckoning from when she was awoken from stasis, or is it based on her developmental age? Just curious.

It was interesting getting a chance to see what exactly happened between Corspa and Nyzoph...not to mention the slightly...uh...legalistic side of the Ushaan duel, much like we saw in ENT (i.e. how to get out of it without dying). Or did she dishonor him by choosing to leave him alive?

Another question...a Bajoran telepath? I can't recall having ever encountered one of those before. Does Umliz have any ancestry from another species? His parodying Dickens at the end was pretty funny, too.

It was also interesting to see Luverala be a little more open to the use of telepathy this time. What changed his mind? Knowing Azera better? I also enjoyed seeing a Betazoid who wasn't so pompous about his family's nobility. And wow...it seems like his telepathy has a REALLY long range, if I'm reading right and he's contacting Azera from the ship in orbit.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,610
# 136
03-14-2013, 12:32 PM
@ khayuung - Drop the grind man, it's a game not a job Seriously though ... drop the grind and get to writing

@ sparklysoldier (love the name btw) - I also just finished yours and loved it! The back-and-forth between then-and-now for Corspa and Nyzoph was really captivating
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 106
# 137
03-14-2013, 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
@sparklysoldier: Just read yours! So Azera is technically a teenager? Is that reckoning from when she was awoken from stasis, or is it based on her developmental age? Just curious.
She's chronologically 18 or 19 at this point: she did grow up a little faster than a human, just enough to have gotten her through her Starfleet Academy at such a remarkably young age, but she's still definitely an adolescent in most ways. That comes into play with her relationship with the senior officers, all of whom are older than her: it's why she's so informal with them, and why they're protective of her (though that's a double-edged sword in some ways - it's a lot of why she's so completely off Angel's dating radar). She's getting older as the stories progress, though, and by the time she reaches level 50 she'll be in her early 20's, and a very different character than she was at the beginning.

Quote:
It was interesting getting a chance to see what exactly happened between Corspa and Nyzoph...not to mention the slightly...uh...legalistic side of the Ushaan duel, much like we saw in ENT (i.e. how to get out of it without dying). Or did she dishonor him by choosing to leave him alive?
Oh, ENT was a big influence on that whole aspect of the story! I have mixed feelings about the series, but one thing they did right from the beginning was making the Andorians into a really fun, compelling breakout species (though part of that may be the awesomeness that is Jeffrey Combs).

There may have been some slight dishonoring in Corspa leaving him alive (enough to be, in his mind, part of the reason why he left Andoria the next day), but it definitely wasn't her intention. She wrote her letter to him while he was still having his wounds treated, and it reflects how she felt immediately after the duel. There was real anger in their fight, because they're both proud, fierce soldiers, but what she really wanted was to just end it without hurting Nyzoph more than she had to, so she could then try to salvage things as best she could.

He never saw that letter, though, so she labored under the impression that he'd read it but wanted nothing to do with her, while he was under the impression that "we're done here" was the last thing she'd said to him. That they still became friends again aboard the Roanoke with that big a misunderstanding hanging between them speaks to how deeply they really care about each other.

Quote:
Another question...a Bajoran telepath? I can't recall having ever encountered one of those before. Does Umliz have any ancestry from another species? His parodying Dickens at the end was pretty funny, too.
Oh, I should probably go back and tweak that part of that story - Kwam's not telepathic, Luverala's just gifted enough to be able to speak into a non-telepath's thoughts. Betazoid telepathy is a strange thing to figure out from the shows: Troi used to be able to communicate with the totally human Riker that way (which is really odd, since she's not telepathic either!), but then Lwaxana singles Deanna out as though such communication requires both sides being telepathic, or at least partly Betazoid. But that doesn't make sense either, because if a telepath can both read and project into the target's mind then it wouldn't seem to matter whether the target's a telepath too. So I just decided for the sake of the story that telepaths can communicate that way with non-telepaths, and Lwaxana was just being snooty.

It doesn't help the confusion that, even though there have been minor Betazoid characters in other shows, their telepathy's never really dealt with either. I think the writers just realized that Betazoid telepathy could be story-breakingly powerful ("oh no, the away team's been kidnapped! Hey Ensign Lira, could you ask them where they are, if they're okay, how many guards are there and the best way to sneak in and rescue them? Great, thanks!" ) and so decided to mostly ignore it. Honestly, I kinda did the same thing in making Luverala so reluctant to use it, and Azera not strong enough to have it make much difference.

Quote:
It was also interesting to see Luverala be a little more open to the use of telepathy this time. What changed his mind? Knowing Azera better?
Oh, that will definitely be a plot point in a coming story. That's all I can say for now.

Quote:
I also enjoyed seeing a Betazoid who wasn't so pompous about his family's nobility. And wow...it seems like his telepathy has a REALLY long range, if I'm reading right and he's contacting Azera from the ship in orbit.
Oddly enough, a lot of the details about his family only came together while I was writing this story, but it all works so well that I'm glad this LC came along and inspired it! And yep, that crossed my mind too. It's not unprecedented, since Troi does read people on planets while sitting on the bridge, but it's still impressive enough that I'll go back and expand a bit on his abilities being remarkable that way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ sparklysoldier (love the name btw) - I also just finished yours and loved it! The back-and-forth between then-and-now for Corspa and Nyzoph was really captivating
Thanks! It's part of the name of my first City of Heroes character, and so it became my forum name there. When it closed down I thought I'd be using it in PWE's forums when I tried to reinvent her for Champions, only I didn't really like CO and fell in love with STO instead. But it's distinctive, and a subtle tribute to CoH and the very first character that got me into MMO's and writing fanfics about them.

I'm glad you liked it! That's exactly what I was aiming for, the contrast and mystery of their rivalry then, their friendship now, and what really lay beneath it all.

I'd better run for tonight, but starting tomorrow I'm free again, and story reviews will be coming!

EDIT: Since Kwam wasn't adding a whole lot to their dialogue, I just took him out of it while clarifying that the distance involved is pretty remarkable. It does make more intuitive sense to have that conversation being telepaths-only, and it's actually a little funnier for him to just be standing there wondering what the heck they're talking about. Thank you for pointing that out, and I'm glad you liked his line. :-)

Last edited by sparklysoldier; 03-14-2013 at 05:58 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,343
# 138
03-14-2013, 06:07 PM
@sparkysoldier and khayuung -

Can't wait to read these! Maybe tonight if my schedule will cooperate.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 139
03-14-2013, 08:28 PM
Wow. Looks like a number of entries have been submitted since I last checked here. Anyway, on to reviewing the ones I haven't read until just a few minutes ago:

@superhombre:

Great work! Very interesting way to link two different stories together! Also, I'll try to get those typos sorted asap.

@sander:

That was awesome! Sounds like your captain is settling in quite well in his (sort of) new command!

@shevet:

Awesome. Not much more to be said there. Sherdran was absolutely hilarious though.

@gulberat:

Certainly interesting to read about Alyosha's past, especially considering the fact that he's a Devidian.

@sparklysoldier:

Poor Azera. Sounds like her love life is even more unlucky than Bryan's. Especially considering something has, on multiple occasions, almost seperated them for one reason or another. Hmmm...that gives me an idea for a future entry. Maybe I could...Where was I? OH! Right. Great work!

@khayuung:

I demand to know what happens next! That's almost as bad as some of the end-of-season cliffhangers that many TV writers love to use.

At any rate, a courtroom might be an interesting setting. Already have an interesting idea for something along those lines involving Bryan's parents. Another one I might like to see is one that explores the lives of the minor crew during combat, such as that one Babylon 5 episode in season 5 which the name escapes me, but it was with those two engineers and...well, if you watched B5 you'd prolly know the episode.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,343
# 140
03-14-2013, 11:33 PM
@sparkysoldier -

Great stuff! I once dated a girl a lot like Auslaz...

I really enjoyed your Andorians as well. The way you constructed their relationship was rather brilliant.

Man, I feel bad for Azera. I've started reading your past LCs and your Personal Logs thread - it seems like nothing ever goes her way. But so much the better to reveal her true character.



@khayuung -

Intriguing start! Can't wait to see where you go with it!


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
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