Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,467
# 231
03-25-2013, 06:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
Based on the feedback received so far (many thanks, macusdkane, jonsills and gulberat! ) I've changed a couple character names in "Frozen."

Calvin is now refered to simply as "Cal." Sweetums is now known as "Sway" - an abbreviation of his real name.
You didn't have to change them, but I must admit, the piece flows much more smoothly now
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,467
# 232
03-25-2013, 02:40 PM
@ Pompouluss: Fantastic entry Really nicely developed characters
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 106
# 233
03-25-2013, 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
sparklysoldier--WOW. What a moment for Azera, to come to that sort of realization! In a lot of ways, I think your story with the machine-priests makes a lot of sense. The Borg Queen really took on a very Dukat-like characterization in that light, especially in the way she sought Azera's approval. It's fortunate she was rescued before the Queen really did wear down her free will to the point where she would give herself to the Collective. (Funny...wasn't that sort of validation also what the Queen wanted out of Picard and Data?)
It's exactly that sort of validation, and she sought it from Seven when they first met too. I hadn't thought of the comparison between them, but you captured it perfectly with Dukat. They're exactly the same kind of villain: charismatic, seductive and determined to present themselves as misunderstood saviors. What makes them both villains is that nothing their victims say really matters. They're going to do what they want anyway, and their attempts to win the other person's approval are just an elaborate, narcissistic dance.

Quote:
Off-topic...just rewatched "Time's Arrow," since Hulu is offering TNG for free. What was actually really awesome was seeing some of the things in the episode that I had completely forgotten, to include confirmation of Devidian telepathy, and their ability to actually comprehend and replicate human language and mannerisms (though of course that female Devidian was being reaaaaallly creepy and, since she was injured, seemed to require a lot of focus to pull it off). That and the ability to phase in and out at will. I hadn't remembered all of that--but wow, it really makes me feel good about the choices I made in creating Alyosha! :-) The only issue I have where I contradicted the episode is that apparently the crew wasn't totally in phase with the Devidians while on their world and were able to move around without the Devidians seeing them...but I'm going to have to put that down to some interference pattern from the slapped-together equipment our crew was using, to explain why beings that otherwise "should" be able to see across temporal phases couldn't see them. ;-)
That's how the game handles them, though, so at least you can plead faithfulness to STO canon.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
@sparklysoldier: Ho. Lee. Smokes. I kinda sensed what you were building up to but I never expected a full-on breakdown in front of the Queen. How does she go back to fighting the Borg after this? I guess I'll have to stay tuned to find out...
You know, that's a good question! Some of her reactions even caught me off guard while writing the story, so although I have an overall idea of where things are leading, I'm kind of curious to find out too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Wowowowowowow!!! Got to love a seduction by the One who is Many ^_^ I was almost disappointed that the crew got to Azera. Not because I wanted to see her assimilated, but because I wanted to see what would have happened and been revealed about the Borg As a sidenote, I thought Marcus had already amended her bio, but classified the change... Such a fantastic piece though, I was gripped all the way through ^_^
I'm glad you liked it - and he did! She's just reading the file header, Starfleet's equivalent to her driver's license. There's a log entry coming about her digging deeper into her records and finding Marcus's report.

Quote:
I've just realized who should portray Azera... Sarah Michelle Gellar
I hadn't thought of an actress for her, but you're right: SMG in Buffy mode fits really well.

Last edited by sparklysoldier; 03-25-2013 at 04:00 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,211
# 234
03-25-2013, 04:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
It's exactly that sort of validation, and she sought it from Seven when they first met too. I hadn't thought of the comparison between them, but you captured it perfectly with Dukat. They're exactly the same kind of villain: charismatic, seductive and determined to present themselves as misunderstood saviors. What makes them both villains is that nothing their victims say really matters. They're going to do what they want anyway, and their attempts to win the other person's approval are just an elaborate, narcissistic dance.
Now that would be a match made in hell: assimilated Dukat. The Borg Queen and the Borg King. Ewwwwwwwwww.

Then again, that's actually kind of what happened when the Pah-Wraiths overrode Dukat's free will and took him over... O_o For all the controversy about what happened to Dukat in the end, I find it fitting because he ended up having done to him exactly what he tried to do to others.

Quote:
That's how the game handles them, though, so at least you can plead faithfulness to STO canon.
True...though given Alyosha's origins in "Time's Arrow," I am trying to reconcile both depictions as much as possible.

Truth be told, though, I favor STO's treatment of the Devidians, since I am of the mind that budget limitations kept TNG from showing as much as they might have otherwise--stuff like showing the Devidians having a form more distinct from that of humanity, or showing them really moving around, throwing telekinetic blasts, or directly draining their victims. (I get the idea they have a machine that can do it and store what they take for later, from "Time's Arrow," or if they're just really pissed off, or intending to flat out take over an area, they just go directly for the kill.)
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Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,467
# 235
03-25-2013, 04:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
I'm glad you liked it - and he did! She's just reading the file header, Starfleet's equivalent to her driver's license. There's a log entry coming about her digging deeper into her records and finding Marcus's report.
A-ha, I'll look forward to reading that If she has issue with Marcus' silence, I'm sure he can be reached via seance at Castle Caladan

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
I hadn't thought of an actress for her, but you're right: SMG in Buffy mode fits really well.
Yes, Buffy was the image which came to mind, even though age-wise, she's not quite in keeping with Azera's age... Hayden Panettiere, might be an acceptable substitute...
Captain
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 502
# 236
03-25-2013, 07:02 PM
Okay, I've found the time to read a few more stories, and hopefully I'll get to the rest later:

shevet: A very interesting phenomenon your ship just encountered. I like the way Admiral Shohl eventually realized what was going on and decided on a chancy means of escape. And now I'm a little curious about the Jolciot.

marcusdkane: A nice short piece that focused on your bridge officers. I like the way you maintained continuity with your last story in the bargain.


I'll try to post my own (much shorter) second story soonish. Right now, though, I'm trying to decide between an entry focusing on one of my bridge officers, or an introduction of my KDF character.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,352
# 237
03-25-2013, 09:06 PM
@pompouluss -

Great stuff! Fascinating characters, very tense dialogue. An angry Vulcan and a Starfleet Captain who smokes - what's not to love? (Don't leave us hanging... )


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 174
# 238
03-25-2013, 10:53 PM
Thanks guys! Was my pleasure.

[SPOILERS]

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***

***

As of this moment Commander Sasup is still serving on the bridge, so conclude from that what you will.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,467
# 239
03-26-2013, 06:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
marcusdkane: A nice short piece that focused on your bridge officers. I like the way you maintained continuity with your last story in the bargain.
Thanks I like to consider the LC challenges as an ongoing saga, rather than purely standalone pieces, and the staffing issue was something I'd been mentally wrestling with since LC 39... I got there in the end though
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 542
# 240
03-26-2013, 07:22 AM
A very interesting entry, sparklysoldier.

Discovering that you're a part of Species 1--the Origin Race of the Borg--is almost as powerful a revelation as Vader revealing to Luke "I AM your father", or other equivalent revelations in fiction. It means that the protagonist (Azera in your case) has a very close connection to their enemies.

I look forward to learning more about Azera, and what happens to her because of this revelation.
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"In the game of war, there are no clear rules you can follow." - Andrew Waltfeld
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