Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,219
# 251
03-27-2013, 11:50 AM
I've put up a third entry in response to LC #3: My Haven.

This one is much shorter than my other submissions so far - just something I whipped up last night while taking a break from another project.


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,104
# 252
03-27-2013, 11:58 AM
Sander, just read your third entry.

I'm not sure if you intended it this way or not, but it really came off creepy seeing your captain seek absolution from what I assume to be a non-sentient hologram. I can only imagine what the Catholic Church would say about that if they found out... O_o Not to mention the casual way he has come to dismiss the deaths that he has caused. Perhaps the inappropriateness of his solution is the entire point you're trying to make, and if so, good job. (Something tells me a real priest wouldn't be so casual about the whole thing...)

(Just as an FYI, it's "Vaya con Dios," rather than being spelled "via." If it were spelled "via," that would be pronounced VEE-ah, as in "Via Dolorosa.")

It also makes one really think about the logistical issues of seeing to the spiritual well-being of crews on deep-space missions. Without getting into any discussions or debates that could be against forum rules, I will simply say that there's also a logistical problem for my captain as well. He was raised on Earth and chose to join the Russian Orthodox Church, but there is one little complication: he's Devidian, and that presents a major issue with the Eucharist and how in the heck he can possibly participate in the central ritual of the Church. (I have an idea of how, but I would probably need to speak privately with someone who has knowledge of Orthodoxy to make sure it wouldn't tick anyone off.)

The kinds of issues that would have to be dealt with in a 25th century environment are quite staggering, when you think about it--though IMHO not insurmountable.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 109
# 253
03-27-2013, 12:16 PM
Quote:
I'm not sure if you intended it this way or not, but it really came off creepy seeing your captain seek absolution from what I assume to be a non-sentient hologram. I can only imagine what the Catholic Church would say about that if they found out... O_o Not to mention the casual way he has come to dismiss the deaths that he has caused. Perhaps the inappropriateness of his solution is the entire point you're trying to make, and if so, good job. (Something tells me a real priest wouldn't be so casual about the whole thing...)
I loved it. Great use of the holodeck concept which I'm now shocked hasn't been done before -- a guilt-stricken captain seeking absolution from what is essentially a hollow man.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,219
# 254
03-27-2013, 12:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Sander, just read your third entry.

I'm not sure if you intended it this way or not, but it really came off creepy seeing your captain seek absolution from what I assume to be a non-sentient hologram. I can only imagine what the Catholic Church would say about that if they found out... O_o Not to mention the casual way he has come to dismiss the deaths that he has caused. Perhaps the inappropriateness of his solution is the entire point you're trying to make, and if so, good job. (Something tells me a real priest wouldn't be so casual about the whole thing...)
Yeah, that's definitely intentional. As is the fact that he has to create this archaic "Pirates of the Caribbean" fantasy realm to immerse himself in before he even feels comfortable walking into a church.

Quote:
(Just as an FYI, it's "Vaya con Dios," rather than being spelled "via." If it were spelled "via," that would be pronounced VEE-ah, as in "Via Dolorosa.")
Oops. Fixed.


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,288
# 255
03-27-2013, 04:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
That probably won't be necessary... but would be fun to see.

"You will be visited this night by the ghosts of three admirals! The first will be James T. Kirk. If he tries to make a move on you, just remind him that he was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was still in diapers. Well, maybe not your grandfather, but it'll work."
Marcus would definitely be the ghost of Starfleet Present, he was very much a child of the 24th Century, and even though he had an immortal's potential for an extended life, as GulBerat realized, for him, that would have truly been a living Hell. Had he survived long enough to see the rise and fall of the Systems Commonwealth at the time of Andromeda, I think he'd've gone well and truly round the twist, probably living in a cave like some hermit, muttering to himself in Vulcan and scratching pictures of his friends on the walls

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
That observation inspired me to at least see how it'd look, and you're onto something with Buffy...

Buffy + ponytail + rudimentary GIMP skills to change her hair and eyes = Pretty darn close!
OMG Azera lives! :wub: :wub:

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
She's slightly older and way more tanned, but that's Hollywood for you.
While investigating the ruins of a Preserver Temple, Azera is exposed to an energy discharge which causes her cells biological age to begin to catch up to her chronological age... Of course, the crew manage to arrest the process and return her aging to a normal rate, but only after she has aged a decade and change...

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
Wow, Eleven of Twelve is going to raise so, so many eyebrows when she walks into, well, anywhere besides the ship! You did a great job of describing her very distinctive face, and showing the contrast between her regal appearance and modest personality.
Once I decided that she was indeed going to be a legitimately assimilated officer, not just a ruse, I wanted her personality to be as opposite to the Borg Queen's as possible. Of course, the neural restructuring and knowledge of the Collective is going to be reflected, somewhat like a joined Trill, as opposed to when McCoy held Spock's katra, and Spock was essentially 'pulling the strings' at times, but for the most, I wanted her character to be very different to that predatory magnetism which the Borg Queen possesses, even if that is the first thing anyone would see when they look at her...

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
And two first officers... it's an inventive solution to the problem, and they do say two heads are better than one. Well done!
Thanks ^_^ For the most part, I think Amanda is so utterly betrayed by Lambert's actions, that she simply can't bring herself to trust an outsider on her bridge, for fear of them doing something similar, so went with the option of the most reliable officers she knows... I think the duties will resolve themselves such that Mayer would take more responsibility aboard ship, with Chanos stepping up for away missions, with Mayer remaining on board ^_^

Last edited by marcusdkane; 03-27-2013 at 05:54 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,288
# 256
03-27-2013, 05:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
And done with my second (and technically third ) entries. I wanted to do something a little different for these two. For the first one, I wanted to get the feeling of "Why not go ahead and get it over with?" for Bryan and Ibalei's...well...Read and find out. For the second part, I was looking to explore a situation I briefly referenced but never really elaborated on. Basically, what happened is after Bryan told his family about his marrying Ibalei, they disowned him, due to deep-seeded racism. Not a topic I ordinarily write about, so let me know what you guys think.
Nice entries as always

With regards the racism of Bryan's family, I think it would carry more weight if the reason for their feelings toward Trills (or maybe all non-Humans) was to be explored, as while there's never an excusing factor for a person to have prejudiced views, there is often some kernel of warped logic to their mindset or a legitimately shocking experience... For example, Miles O'Brien had seen on numerous occasions the brutality and vile sadism which some Cardassians are capable of, and initially held nothing but contempt for them as a people. I mean sure, Kira knew never to turn her back on a Cardassian for fear of getting jumped, but O'Brien, he really hated them, maybe even more-so than Kira... If there was such a reason for Bryan's family to feel like that, then maybe it would be a viewpoint Ibalei might be able to attempt to overcome in time...
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,288
# 257
03-27-2013, 05:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
I've put up a third entry in response to LC #3: My Haven.

This one is much shorter than my other submissions so far - just something I whipped up last night while taking a break from another project.
I really enjoyed this entry I wasn't too sure as if the confessional was being taken seriously by Jesu, but when he came into the corridor saying his Ave Marias, that showed that indeed he was serious, which is unusual amongst Humans of the 24th/25th Century, so I felt that was quite nice to see
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 491
# 258
03-27-2013, 05:42 PM
Alright, so, just as a heads up, the week is almost halfway through and I'm still indecisive about what to write. Admittedly, more than a few real-life things have interfered, but still, I suck when it comes to decision making. As such, what would people prefer to see me write? A short piece revolving around one of my bridge officers, or an introduction for my KDF character?
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,219
# 259
03-28-2013, 12:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
Buffy + ponytail + rudimentary GIMP skills to change her hair and eyes = Pretty darn close!

She's slightly older and way more tanned, but that's Hollywood for you.
Oh, yeah. I'd assimilate that.

Quote:
@sanders223: I love the story opening after the crash and the dreams and flashbacks telling us how they got there, and what the final message actually said is a really powerful twist. Aw, poor Prex - his reluctantly admitting that he also liked rock-climbing somehow really made him endearing as a character. The setting had a very different feel from a Federation ship, and I really enjoyed reading about Ssharki, his sons and their rag-tag band of Imperial subjects.
I was sort of going for that classic Plane-Crash/Lost-at-Sea-survival-movie clich?. You have the one character nobody really likes at first, then he starts to grow on you, then he dies.


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,219
# 260
03-28-2013, 12:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Alright, so, just as a heads up, the week is almost halfway through and I'm still indecisive about what to write. Admittedly, more than a few real-life things have interfered, but still, I suck when it comes to decision making. As such, what would people prefer to see me write? A short piece revolving around one of my bridge officers, or an introduction for my KDF character?
Both.

C'mon, I've done three already, and I'm working on a fourth.


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
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