Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,467
# 301
04-01-2013, 08:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
And there's my fourth entry. Went for something a little simpler this time. No epic battles, no rousing speeches, just a little bit of self-reflection on Bryan's part. Anyway, lemme know what you guys think!

Oh, and if you can guess what I was referencing, you get a cookie .

EDIT:

Also, the song referenced by Bryan is this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nP5Gbm2XKc.
Nice entry Was it a reference to the creation of the universe?
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 302
04-01-2013, 08:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Nice entry Was it a reference to the creation of the universe?
Thanks!

Anyways, I was referencing the old show Cosmos, by Carl Sagan. He was rather well known for phrases similar to "Billions and billions" when speaking of the galaxies.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,467
# 303
04-01-2013, 04:58 PM
Something a bit lighter for my fourth entry, just to tide me over till the next LC Given the incredible output from our group in this past few weeks, I wonder if the LCs could be made weekly, rather than fortnightly?

For ease of reference/visualization, here're the actors I would cast if I was filming this tomorrow...

Amanda Palmer - Courtney Cox
Brandon Mayer - Jason Lewis
Bella - Olivia Wilde
I'sH'd - Alexander Skarsgard
Ch'K'rr - Scarlett Johansson
S'rR's - Amy Smart
Campbell-Black - Helen Flanagan
T'Natra - Gal Gadot
th'Shaan - James Marsters
Selya Chirk - Angelina Jolie
Meliden Bowen - Eve Myles
Todd Mitchell - Thomas Dekker

Last edited by marcusdkane; 04-02-2013 at 05:55 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,467
# 304
04-01-2013, 05:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
Thanks!

Anyways, I was referencing the old show Cosmos, by Carl Sagan. He was rather well known for phrases similar to "Billions and billions" when speaking of the galaxies.
Always a pleasure Ahh, I wouldn't've got that reference... No cookie for me
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,211
# 305
04-01-2013, 05:43 PM
Wow, I don't think I could sustain a weekly rate. The current rate pushes me hard as it is!

Will read your entry and respond to your comments tonight.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 106
# 306
04-01-2013, 06:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
@sparklysoldier: Another excellent Azera story! Everything about your story came together really well-- the way you described Azera's reaction to the sensing the Collective in its entirety, your visual description of the Unicomplex, your handling of the Borg Queen, and especially Azera's reactions afterwards, all made the entire story shine.
Thanks!

Just a few more story comments:

@marcusdkane: Wow, if ever there was a situation that called for Vulcan emotion-suppressing training... Very well written, the jumps forward from marriage on up were enthralling with lots of characterization squeezed into each one, and now I'm all kinds of curious about Marcus's troubled sister Alix. Is she a character in some of his stories, or even a PC in her own right?

@cmdrscarlet: I like the fly on the wall structure of the story, how the narrative bounces around from table to table like a ball before landing back where it started. A quick but effective story for dipping into Kathryn's past and revealing the crew's various feelings about her.

@ambassadormolari: This is just really clever! It's fun to see a story that focuses on one of a junior officer, and both the gonzo situation and scientific explanation for it are very well-done and feel like a Trek episode come to life. The story opening in the middle of a very well-presented holodeck fantasy likewise really captures the feel of a Trek episode: I was starting to doubt my memory and wonder if it was "Lady Nelson" after all...

@gulberat: If ever there's a writer who could present the future musical history of Trek-era Earth, it's you. The musical insight and detail offered in the last part of the story are really well done, and it's touching to see how music can link two species as far apart as humans and Devidians together, and how Alyosha's faith connects him with the universe around him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Wow, I don't think I could sustain a weekly rate. The current rate pushes me hard as it is!

Will read your entry and respond to your comments tonight. :-)
Same here! I'm still trying to figure out how playing the game fits into the schedule...

Speaking of which, at least one more comment's coming soon! I have sanders233's story saved and ready to be read tomorrow during lunch, and just from the length of it, and the two other stories you've already posted, I stand in awe of your creativity!

Edit: Correction - make that the three other stories you've posted!

Last edited by sparklysoldier; 04-01-2013 at 06:28 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,671
# 307
04-01-2013, 06:58 PM
Thank you everyone for your comments on my last piece

I have enough reading to catch up on I'll be posting thoughts after LC 41 is up

This LC was long enough I think and agree that two weeks is good enough and THEN there is game time (then marriage + child + work + sleep, etc. yadda yadda etc.) ...

*sigh*

I want more time to write
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 502
# 308
04-01-2013, 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Inspiration is inspiration, regardless the source Once I decided to name my STO ship for the plot to kill Hitler, I ironically found one of his quotes, to be the most fitting for the dedication plaque of a literary ship:

"Words build bridges into unexplored regions."

I think your choice of Bogart was perfect, but in terms of juxtaposition to the 25th Century, but also in your very recognizable portrayal of him


I'm sorry you felt it was a low blow, it was only my intention to show just what had emotionally crippled Marcus so severely, that Vulcan mental techniques were the only solution... :-\
Quite the contrary, I felt that scene captured the traumatic moment perfectly, and it was a much-needed counterpoint to the idyllic family life that you'd written for Marcus.


Quote:
I figured when one needs the best genetic engineering done, there would only be one realistic option, despite significant bad press in science journals... The challenge was in finding a reason why a Starfleet officer would actually need to have a child genetically engineered, for the results to be manifested as personality traits, and the rest just fell into place from there...
Between genetic engineering and near-apocalyptic thalaron disasters, its a wonder Adigeon isn't avoided altogether. Although the impression I got was that the thalaron radiation was also partially responsible for Marcus' immortal "condition."


Quote:
Glad to hear it had the desired effect I figure that she figured that she had nineteen usable minutes while the experiment ran, so made the appropriate scheduling to maximize her time, rather than spinning on her lab chair and building a 'house of PADDS' waiting for the results to come through. I figured it also gave a hint of her kind of humor ^_^
What can I say, quirky science officers are fun to write.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat
Glad you liked it! Just curious...in what way was it unexpected?
Just the mental image of a Devidian unwinding by immersing him(it?)self in electonica. Though you did good by mentioning that Alyosha was able to sense it on a completely different wavelength than humans, so it still made sense.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
Thanks!


@ambassadormolari: This is just really clever! It's fun to see a story that focuses on one of a junior officer, and both the gonzo situation and scientific explanation for it are very well-done and feel like a Trek episode come to life. The story opening in the middle of a very well-presented holodeck fantasy likewise really captures the feel of a Trek episode: I was starting to doubt my memory and wonder if it was "Lady Nelson" after all...
Glad you liked it! Although I guess, realistically, Sann should be a Lieutenant instead of an Ensign, seeing as she's a bridge officer. The ranking scheme of STO can jar rather confusingly with canon at times. And yes, the holodeck scene was immensely fun to write.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,211
# 309
04-01-2013, 11:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Yes, that makes sense, equally, I got the impression of Teeglar having the same kind of inner strength as Master Yoda, which immediately commands respect, regardless of his stature. I really hope that a future LC will allow him to make a guest appearance.
Somebody once described Keenser's role as being the exact opposite of Jar-Jar Binks--small and unusual though he was, he actually played the straight man to nuScotty's insanity. That gave me the idea of making the Roylans a rather strict, discipline-driven society. One that might strike other species as surprising given their size (as they would associate such behavior with imposing physicality).

Teeglar might be back sometime...we'll see.

Quote:
I think Captain Nasir would have written some scathing reports to Command and the Federation Council as a result of the Eden's visit...
Indeed--I would expect so!

Quote:
Just to clarify, I was meaning that Rebecca would have undergone the procedure to save the child's life even if the risks had been fully explained.
I can understand where you're coming from. The reason I'd be angry, though, in her position, is that I consider a decision made when someone was withholding information from me to be in effect a coerced decision. I would resent that if someone like the Adigeons did that to me on such a critical matter.

As for what I would've decided in her place...honestly, that is too difficult for me to answer. I cannot say what I would've done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
@gulberat: If ever there's a writer who could present the future musical history of Trek-era Earth, it's you. The musical insight and detail offered in the last part of the story are really well done, and it's touching to see how music can link two species as far apart as humans and Devidians together, and how Alyosha's faith connects him with the universe around him.
I'm glad you liked it! Alyosha's faith is very important to him. Maybe someday (though not in the forums), if you were curious, I could tell you how he sees it. Once I saw it from his perspective, and understood why he sought it out, it absolutely blew my mind. O_o

I am such a "music person" that I have actually come up with some theories about what happened to music as humanity moved into the Trek era.

That link created by music...I don't know if anyone saw it, there was an aspect of his holoprogram that makes it a little bittersweet, though... :-/


Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Just the mental image of a Devidian unwinding by immersing him(it?)self in electonica. Though you did good by mentioning that Alyosha was able to sense it on a completely different wavelength than humans, so it still made sense.
Alyosha is indeed male, though I approach the Devidians as a species with very little sexual dimorphism--or if there is any, it's something standard Preserver-template humanoids would not necessarily recognize immediately.

Seeing the behavior of the two Devidians in "Time's Arrow" made me think that they actually were male and female, and an item. While they could easily have been acting, during the soul-stealing scene, it was how they behaved when the female was struck by that energy blast--the male actually looked shocked and scared for her. They were exposed. They didn't have to act like a couple. And the ability to act, even under such duress, is what makes me think that some natural talent for mimicry helps Alyosha to do what he does, when it comes to making people think he's human.

(That same scene also drives home the absolute callousness of the other Devidians. They are clearly capable of strong, genuine emotions towards each other, capable of compassion in SOME form, but regard their prey as cattle. Beneath contempt. I had forgotten it until recently, but when I saw "Time's Arrow" again...it actually made me feel better about my choice to let Alyosha's personality develop as it did, and not as a cold "shark" personality.)

Oh...and I do think Alyosha's hearing is one of his most relatable senses, so he would take in music very similarly to us. But his auditory organ(s) are structurally very different from our type of ear. Not sure what it is yet, but I know the whole principle is different.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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Last edited by gulberat; 04-02-2013 at 12:24 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,467
# 310
04-02-2013, 09:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
Wow, if ever there was a situation that called for Vulcan emotion-suppressing training... Very well written, the jumps forward from marriage on up were enthralling with lots of characterization squeezed into each one
Thanks, I'm glad it came across as intended, and that the new characters came across well

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
I'm all kinds of curious about Marcus's troubled sister Alix. Is she a character in some of his stories, or even a PC in her own right?
Alix was the presence in the Haunting of Deck 13, and Leave. I've come to the conclusion that her consciousness was phase-shifted by the phaser beam, and she exists purely as a self-sustaining consciousness, but she's only normally capable of interacting with people who share her genetic profile.
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