Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,450
# 41
04-05-2013, 10:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
Many thanks!

Action is a problem for me as i tend to be very detailed with my descriptions of what the character is doing (I think) but moving scenes can get bogged in the details. If the scene came across in your mind's eye well then I may be getting a little better at it.

But really, gulberat's advice for space combat is sitting with me and I gave it a small shot (no pun intended) in this piece. Obviously I left out the beginning and middle of the fight between ships because ... well ... that wasn't the point to the story. So I decided to describe the end Again, if the scene works, then the advice I was given may be working

On the steath suit - I'm a little loathe to the idea that I'm trying to force my schtick's into the overall lore of Star Trek. So I'm thinking this will be the last time it gets used - it served a purpose to get the action done, but I can't have this one-of-a-kind item become a gimmick for the future. I think it's comfortable to say that any research on personal cloak technology could be done on a lone station like Regula-1, without making a big deal in the grand scheme of things ... especially if it stays in R&D for the duration of a fictional universe
You're very welcome, the scenes flowed absolutely fine This was my first space battle in a decade As for the stealth suit, it didn't come across as forced personal schtick, as the already exists within the Trekverse, so no need to worry on that score Personally, I'm all for forcing schtick, but I try and keep it as in universe as possible to minimize any jarring (not sure how successful I am with that )
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,450
# 42
04-05-2013, 10:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
Usually once the idea has occurred to me, I can knock a story right out, and wait impatiently for the next LC - but this time I'm glad it's staying up for so long. This week has been spring break, so I've been dealing with two kids, one of whom is a seven-year-old with ADD and a Cars video game on the Wii. Not exactly conducive to getting a lot of writing done...

Thankfully, that all clears up come Monday, so I may have a bit more time available. I'm working on another tale of Grunt and the USS Bastogne - the time isn't yet ripe for my crew to abandon the Bastogne for the heavy cruiser Hadrian, as they already have in game.
Can't wait to see Grunt's next adventure
Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 384
# 43
04-05-2013, 12:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn View Post
Somebody in this LC is a StarCraft fan.

Possibly more specific - possibly a Protoss fan.
I might be :3




[quote=marcusdkane;9061931]@ asardetemplari: I actually didn't mind the idea of the Vulcans creating bio-weapons... I really like the idea of the un-named captain, and rather like the cut of their jib, it'll be interesting to see how future LCs expand on their character Also, having a rather warped sense of humor, I did chuckle at the MACO hanging themself in sickbay... QUOTE]



I could continue it... tbh, I wrote that when I was half-asleep. so I decided to let whatever was in my head out on the paper.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,922
# 44
04-05-2013, 12:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by asardetemplari View Post
I might be :3
Which one? The former, or just the latter?
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Oh, lovely, I can't even requote the Douglas Adams quote I used to have here I WANT IT BACK!!!!
Dalo Lorn
DaloLorn, StarCraft 2 Roleplayer and proud of it.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,450
# 45
04-05-2013, 01:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by asardetemplari View Post
I could continue it... tbh, I wrote that when I was half-asleep. so I decided to let whatever was in my head out on the paper.
I've been in a similar state when writing in the past... If a future LC was to allow you to continue the story, it would be interesting to see where the story takes the unknown captain
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 988
# 46
04-05-2013, 01:14 PM
There's my entry. And rather than post up a cast list of who would play them, here's my crew list from in game with pics.

http://serenitystation.forumotion.co...-sentinel-crew


Although they are wearing the old uniforms there. They have since switched to Odyssey, with dark red lower, dark blue upper.
*******************************************

A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,450
# 47
04-05-2013, 02:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by grylak View Post
There's my entry. And rather than post up a cast list of who would play them, here's my crew list from in game with pics.

http://serenitystation.forumotion.co...-sentinel-crew


Although they are wearing the old uniforms there. They have since switched to Odyssey, with dark red lower, dark blue upper.
Engaging entry, and an awesome crew Big thumbs up
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,346
# 48
04-05-2013, 04:50 PM
@grylak - ditto what marcusdkane set. I really like the concept of your Tactical Response Team.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 271
# 49
04-05-2013, 05:28 PM
Since a few people wanted details, I went back and recovered some more of the logs (thank frak for Mathis )
Ikuzo, Trombe!
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,203
# 50
04-05-2013, 06:47 PM
FINALLY got an idea! Now to see if I can write it in time...
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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