Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
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# 51
04-06-2013, 03:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by amurorx0 View Post
Since a few people wanted details, I went back and recovered some more of the logs (thank frak for Mathis )


Replicator Rations for the crew of the Gespenst
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# 52
04-06-2013, 03:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
FINALLY got an idea! Now to see if I can write it in time...
Excellent...
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 538
# 53
04-06-2013, 08:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by amurorx0 View Post
Since a few people wanted details, I went back and recovered some more of the logs (thank frak for Mathis )
Definitely made the entry more enjoyable, and I liked the line at the end:

Quote:
Originally Posted by amurorx0 View Post
"CAGALLI!! MY OFFICE... NOW!"
I do believe that Cagalli is in for a bit of a tongue-lashing... Any chance we could see that conversation, or are we just going to have to speculate?
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"In the game of war, there are no clear rules you can follow." - Andrew Waltfeld
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,203
# 54
04-06-2013, 09:49 AM
cmdrscarlet--Just wanted to let you know I enjoyed your battle descriptions.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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Captain
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 501
# 55
04-06-2013, 11:03 AM
cmdrscarlet- I'll agree with GulBerat, your battle descriptions (both for the space combat and the ground battle) were very vivid! You need to have the Solaris in battle scenes more often. I am looking forward to more plot development, re: Kathryn and her vendetta.

marcusdkane- Another awesome piece, although I agree with everyone else, the segment with the tricorder was by far the most interesting. Is it going to become a plot point for future LC's?

grylak- Really well written! What stood out for me the most was the fact that you included some in-built friction among your officers (especially towards the Jem'Hadar and Breen), and actually had one of your supporting characters get seriously hurt. I also appreciate that your battle description had the Sentinel gradually losing: it was a nice change from the one-sided, Starfleet-ship-pwns-all space battles we typically see in STO. All told, great story, and I'm now curious as to Stunshock's species.


My own story is still in the idea stages so far. I may actually write one from the POV of my KDF character-- while I do have the inkling of an idea for something involving the Da Vinci and her crew, I may instead focus my efforts on writing a non-LC short story about them that will be crucial for plot development.
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# 56
04-06-2013, 11:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Another awesome piece, although I agree with everyone else, the segment with the tricorder was by far the most interesting.
Thank you, but oh dear, if a conversation between an engineer and the ship's computer is more interesting than the space battle, I've got to be doing something wrong Mostly, I was just trying to introduce the computer interface, and break the bridge action during the flight to the observatory, so I guess I did that

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Is it going to become a plot point for future LC's?
I don't envisage it being a huge plot point, but it will probably feature again at some point if an LC calls for it... I figure that if S'rR's is going to be an ambassador rather than a serving officer, she at least deserves to have some toys to play with

Last edited by marcusdkane; 04-06-2013 at 11:48 AM.
Captain
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# 57
04-06-2013, 11:55 AM
I also found myself the most drawn in by the tricorder as well. The imagery and sensory descriptions were incredible, and Meliden's reaction was really cute.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,443
# 58
04-06-2013, 12:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
I also found myself the most drawn in by the tricorder as well. The imagery and sensory descriptions were incredible, and Meliden's reaction was really cute.
I always figured that that's how Jack Harkness's Time Agency vortex manipulator displayed information to the user for security, and as it had never been confirmed or denied, I decided that that's how this device would work I figured that Meliden would be more impressed with something which worked in an unusual way, and DS-9 established that Cardassians can tolerate sensory input which other species find unsettling

Last edited by marcusdkane; 04-06-2013 at 12:58 PM. Reason: Silly typo... >_<
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,610
# 59
04-06-2013, 02:39 PM
Thank you for the feedback! It ssems I may be going in the right direction for combat writing then. I'm going to be tackling the older LCs in order and the Hive ones have me spooked. To my reviews!

- crimpson7 - Let me say that "Commander Scratch" and the "Kit-Kat Device" made this a fun read

- sharpie65 - 30 minutes to blow a cube ... does it take long to destroy a cube in-game by chance? I have yet to face off against the Borg (other than the intro fight) so my perspective on this foe is not up to par to write about.

- amurorx0 - I'll need to reread your update before I can post a comment about it, but it's printed out!

- asardetemplari - So, that's the making of a mercenary? And with a Starfleet Dreadnought?!

- patrickngo - I was struck by the language as well. I was only distracted because I think the swear-filter uses asterisks. Still, it gave the character ... well ... a lot of character

- marcusdkane - I wish I had more to say, but I too was more impressed with the tricorder section. Don't get me wrong, it's well-written overall ... but that part left me wanting more.

- maverickdude05 - First post on the forum with a Literary Challenge?! Bold and well done- V'lar was great. I look forward to reading more from you and welcome!

More later as I read them!
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,443
# 60
04-06-2013, 04:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
I wish I had more to say, but I too was more impressed with the tricorder section. Don't get me wrong, it's well-written overall ... but that part left me wanting more.
I'm glad you were left wanting more, I'm just amazed that what I was worried about coming across as an additional scene to force a piece of tech, has been everyone's favorite part I guess I'll have to write more scenes between Meliden and her invisible friend
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