Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,469
# 101
04-11-2013, 11:58 AM
Jonsills - Thank you for your comments; you are touching on what I want. I now feel I need to give myself, and the readers, more ...

@ chivalrybean - LOL! All that happened for ... that?! Brilliant. And welcome to the LC

@ shevet - Dagnabit ... really good work. Thank Kirk this is not a competition And I agree with jonsills, that's a great line
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,250
# 102
04-11-2013, 12:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ sander - I'm interested in your work, may I have the name of your novel?

@ ambassadormolari - Flip a coin because I'll read whatever comes out of your imagination!

@ ironphoenix113 - Awesome entry! I'll add to the chorus that the top-level version of a fleet battle was different and interesting. As cumbersome as Star Trek space battles tend to be, even the big fights against the Borg and Dominion on the show had some much happening that it's all a blurr. Writing it as you did gave the same impression: you know what's happening, but the details are lost or unnecessary *because* of the bigger picture.

@ superhombre777 - Man, you must hate Section 31 Actually, even the few missions I have played have really had me look at Drake as more than just a protagonist in a game. I snarl at his portrait because he represents the "necessary evil" in Starfleet - which I admit shouldn't exist in my mind Anyways, well done and thank you for the timeline - that is very influential to me with my current project.

Speaking of which ...

@ gulberat - No way did I think you think I'm sadistic. The Lone Drone piece was designed to show Kathryn's cruelty. I thought it was a "hell yeah" moment but in hindsight I think I would be mortified as well ... THEN I think about my own loathing for anything "Borg" in Star Trek. Borg + Kathryn's vendetta against an Orion gang = extreme action. Still, you and patrickngo had me thinking hard about my situation.

I'm planning to write an origins story in an attempt to explain Kathryn. I think sprinkling in flashbacks during the LCs may cause some confusion, may not get the point of her personna right, and will ultimately drag out her motivations along the way. IOver five LCs I've given the readers how Kathryn is "now", but very little about "what happened" to explain current events. Kathryn is not meant to be cruel - she is to be a strong leader, warrior and capable Captain in Starfleet but who is flawed. Yet, the flaw should not be crippling to negate everything else she is.

Naturally, this process will take some time to develop and reveal as I want to "get it right". Maybe I'm thinking too hard on the subject, but "Kathryn" has been with me since 2005 and I've not finished her tale as a hero/vigilante in City of Heroes - I'm basically starting over in STO.

Thank you all for your feedback over the LCs, it is really appreciated ^_^
There are two general ways origins get revealed- a big "Origin Story" that ties up lots of loose ends (Plot hooks) and sprinkling in perceptions, rumour and flashbacks through the course of regular stories, which tends to OPEN plot hooks for later tales.

It all depends on what you're comfortable with. I usually keep an 'outline' of characters' personalities handy when set about the telling of stories, and I keep track of events between stories to create a sense of 'continuity' that isn't precise, but generates a definite 'feeling'. (Hell, my handle's actually the name of a character I created for another game that is utterly NOT Star Trek!)

There's something to be said in favour of keeping a few mysteries-especially with a Female lead character, so I guess I'd caution against 'showing' too much of her past as a stand-alone. As Bruce Willis said in The Last Boy Scout, "sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets."

Just sayin'.
"when you're out of Birds of Prey, you're out of ships."

I play KDF, because being a genocidal maniac works better with Klingons, than explaining it as a member of Starfleet.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,658
# 103
04-11-2013, 03:50 PM
@chivalrybean - I love the way you progressively built tension just to hit us with a gag ending.

@shevat - What a fantastic piece. Tampering with quantum realities - how wonderfully madly implausible, in the finest Star Trek tradition.



Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ sander - I'm interested in your work, may I have the name of your novel?
I'm pretty sure it's against forum rules to post about our commercial interests, but check your PMs.

If anyone else is interested, feel free to PM me.
"Everybody Chill Out!"

"I'mma cold-blooded killer... Ha ha! get it?"

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 106
# 104
04-11-2013, 03:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Looking forward to reading it
Thanks! It's finished, and kind of follows up on a plot element that arose during Marcus's investigation. I can't say much more without spoiling the story's twists and turns, but I hope you like it.

Last edited by sparklysoldier; 04-11-2013 at 04:05 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,961
# 105
04-11-2013, 06:57 PM
Looks like I owe a few of you some comments. I'll try to get to that tonight.

Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Delta Rising: Reanimate? (Y/N) Review Series COMPLETE!
Proudly F2P. Sig by gulberat. Avatar by balsavor.deviantart.com
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,658
# 106
04-12-2013, 12:44 AM
After spending way too much time writing something no one will pay me to read I finally got this one to the point where I'm happy with it. It's another lengthy entry, for which I do apologize, but hey, the weekend's almost here. I took the opportunity to introduce a few more crew members and recurring characters. There's a lot of people running around in my head, so to help keep all the faces straight I've listed them here in a marcusdkane-style casting call.

The Crew of the Tiburon:
* V. Adm. Jesu LaRoca :: Michael Pena
* Cmdr. Marq Sander (first officer, 1/2 Klingon) :: Chiwetel Ejiofor
* Cmdr. Fozz Ibear (second officer / ops chief, Andorian) :: Ron Perlman
* Cmdr. LaRoca Rusty (security chief, closest thing to his species would be a Raptor from Jurassic Park) :: voiced by Josh Hartnett
* Cmdr. Hector "Ming" Domingo (chief engineer) :: Benicio Del Toro
* Cmdr. Traa'cee (tactical officer, Vulcan) :: Carrie-Anne Moss
* LCdr. Yumi (engineer, Ferengi) :: Faune A. Chambers
* LCdr. Yoann Teena (science officer, Bajoran) :: Sarah Clarke
* LCdr. Dr. Maria Espinoza (CMO) :: Adriana Barraza
* Lt. Barrister (operations, android) :: Alan Tudyk
* Lt. Omid Enfanfar (operations / engineering) :: Hrach Titizian
* Lt. Amraam (deputy chief of security, Ferengi) :: Oscar Isaac
* Lt. Pakray (tactical officer, Tellarite) :: Richard Ayoade
* Lt. "Sticks" Stikvaa (conn officer, Gorn) :: voiced by Ryan Reynolds
* Lt. Erick "Numbers" Marsolek (weapons officer) :: Carlo Rota
* Lt. jg. Mitiani Zain (weapons officer, Cardassian) :: Mila Kunis
* Ens. Dustin "Dusty" Massimino (conn officer) :: Jamie Bell
* Ens. Boris Erebia (shield distribution officer) :: Eric Balfour
* Spfc. Rain Robinson (sensors officer) :: Sarah Silverman
* Acting Lt. K'Jetsk (science officer and combat medic, Reman) :: Viggo Mortensen
* Hank "Hacksaw" Miller (intelligence advisor) :: Kiefer Sutherland
* Ennari Dai (senior diplomatic advisor, joined Trill) :: Natalie Portman
* Stazratts (diplomatic advisor, Gorn) :: voiced by Scott Glenn
* Ivan Jovanovich (diplomatic advisor) :: Mads Mikkelsen
* Kugid (diplomatic advisor, Orion) :: Michael Chiklis

And featuring Rudyard as himself

Special Guest Stars:
* Admiral Bill Davis (director of STS) :: John Noble
* R. Adm. G'Dahn (Vulcan?) :: Adoni Maropis
* Capt. Frank Grimes (STS program manager) :: Edward Norton
* Commander Nivek :: Nicolas Cage
* Lt. Andrei Kurkov :: Denis Khoroshko
* Six of Eight :: Famke Janssen

Past Appearances (LC 40):
* Gen. Ssharki (Gorn) :: voiced by Phillip Seymour Hoffman
* Cmdr. Sway (Gorn) :: voiced by Ben Foster
* Lt. Nietta Holbox (1/2 Orion, 1/2 Human) :: Salma Hayek (ca. 2000)
* Bekk Cal (Gorn) :: voiced by Jimmy Bennett
"Everybody Chill Out!"

"I'mma cold-blooded killer... Ha ha! get it?"

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics

Last edited by sander233; 04-12-2013 at 12:48 AM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,658
# 107
04-12-2013, 01:28 AM
@sparklysoldier - Nice to see Azera win, for once. (sorta.) I like where you took Quinn's speculation of the true nature of Section 31. I can't help but wonder though, about FD's plan for Azera. Even if S31 doesn't try again, what's to stop Klingon Intelligence?
"Everybody Chill Out!"

"I'mma cold-blooded killer... Ha ha! get it?"

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,764
# 108
04-12-2013, 03:04 AM
Aw, you guys, give ol' Drake a break. At the very least, you're going to be denying me a very long-standing nemesis if everyone succeeds! :p
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lt. Comm. Pion
What should I wish upon the endless universe;
To be able to smile and forgive everything;
That's right, if we light up the dream in our hearts without averting our eyes;
We should be able to walk whatever tomorrow comes...

I am V. Adm. Kha Yuung, and I approve of this message.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 106
# 109
04-12-2013, 05:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
@sparklysoldier - Nice to see Azera win, for once. (sorta.) I like where you took Quinn's speculation of the true nature of Section 31. I can't help but wonder though, about FD's plan for Azera. Even if S31 doesn't try again, what's to stop Klingon Intelligence?
Oh, she won as much as the status quo would ever allow her to in that situation. And after so many stories with either bittersweet or outright bleak endings, she really needed to have one adventure with an unabashed victory. As for FD, it's a good question! My take on him is that he's professional enough that, even though he's outraged right now, it won't really turn into a personal vendetta (after all, he does kind of admire her duplicity). This story touches on the question raised before of what groups like S31 would do with her if they found out, and, though it'd be redundant to write stories about other groups like the Tal Shiar and Klingon Intelligence, we can get an idea of the sort of intrigue dealing with them would probably involve too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by khayuung View Post
Aw, you guys, give ol' Drake a break. At the very least, you're going to be denying me a very long-standing nemesis if everyone succeeds! :p
No worries, he'll figure out some way to squirm out of the events in that story and wind up right back where he started. Though her log entry about "Suspect" is going to be fun to write: "you're kidding, we have to rescue him? Well, can I at least stun him first? Okay, fine..."

Last edited by sparklysoldier; 04-12-2013 at 05:55 AM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 9
# 110
04-12-2013, 06:25 AM
First off, sorry for my story being so short, I've read almost every LC but finally decided to jump into the action and post one for myself. I would like some feed back from the veteran posters. (I think mine is on page one of the LC)

Second:
@cmdrscarlet: your stories are awesome. Pretty much been glued to them. Although there are background pieces missing a bit, overall Kathryn is an awesome character.

Last:
gulbaret: how did you make that duty officer box thing in your posts for your character?
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