Ensign
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 28
# 131
04-14-2013, 02:07 PM
@sander233: Thanks for the comment. That's just what I was aiming for. This particular piece was a challenge--I haven't contributed to these LC's for a while largely because I didn't have the time. But I saw the topic of this one, and had an image of the empty room, and decided I'd go for it.

This piece isn't as polished I would hoped. Most of what I've written from this character's perspective (I never actually identify him, but his name is Patrick O'Kennedy, and I have a blog of other fiction that I haven't contributed to in a while) has flowed really easily, but this one was a challenge. I guess that's because it's a major transition in his life. The stories he's telling aren't at all chronological so the next one is likely to be a little more lighthearted. I'll also likely come back and edit this one.

@everyone else: I'm happy to be back, contributing to these LC's. I'm working my way through everyone's contribution and I hope to have some comments and feedback soon.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,447
# 132
04-14-2013, 03:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
To a limited extent, in that he actually has devoted his life to defending the Federation and making it stronger, and he often wonders what the common citizens of the Federation have done to deserve their comfort and security, much like Grimey's incredulous reaction to Homer's life of leisure. But unlike Homer's enemy Grimey, my Captain Grimes actually has a sense of humor.
When I saw the name, that was immediately who I thought of Glad to see that a sense of humor made its way into the Grimes Clan over the years, it'll definitely be good to read more about him
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,447
# 133
04-14-2013, 03:39 PM
@ danqueller: Wow, that was not the ending I was expecting, but it really raises the question with the Klingon Afterlife, as to if it is actually a physical location, rather than a metaphysical one

@ fullofstars: Fantastic entry, nice to see you participating in the LCs again
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 146
# 134
04-14-2013, 07:09 PM
@ fu11ofstars - you kept a good conversational tone in this.

@ chivalrybean - that was certainly amusing. I have wondered whether or not captains would do frequent, almost Twitter-like updates on their logs versus just documenting everything after the fact. I think my captain(s) would get irritated having to do incremental updates.

@ danqueller - you are the second person on this thread to start out with the captain not knowing the date. Why don't they just do the talking and let the computer automatically record the date? Maybe Klingons don't have the patience for these kind of details?
Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 419
# 135
04-14-2013, 07:35 PM
@sander233 - Thank you for your comments! I know the assault on the station was not covered as well as it perhaps should have been, but the problem of posting stories on a forum is that you start worrying about the length of text you have to work with, and I probably got a little concerned it was going to be too long as it was. Still, every story improves with editing and taking time to look it over. Glad you liked the piece!

@marcusdkane - Glad the ending caught you by surprise, as I was hoping I wasn't giving too much away with the first couple of lines. As to if the Klingon Afterlife is a physical location, or just a metaphysical one that is somehow linked to the physical one through the Klingon people, I think I'll leave that for future storywriters. After all, "subspace weapons are unpredictable...that's why they were banned!", so who knows what that device did when it fired?

@superhombre777 - Well, the Captain in the story didn't know the date because...well, what date would you call it in the underworld? Does Time even matter there? His ship was wrecked, he had no idea how long he was unaware of things, and he realized that following that part of regulations was pointless now. As to why ship captains state the date in audio logs, I would assume it is for the same reason the U.S. Navy keeps handwritten logbooks in an era with computer digital storage...to have a living person's certification of what the situation is as an additional check on the automatic records in case the automatics fail or are altered.

In the end, the Captain simply decided to do what you suggested and just tell the tale. Hopefully, he did so in the way a Klingon Commander facing his own eternal imprisonment would be expected to.

Thanks everyone for the comments and feedback! Hope to write more as I get time to do so (oh, the Writer's Paradox....need to work to get money, need money to get food, need food to be able to write, need time to write, can't write while you work....).
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 208
# 136
04-14-2013, 09:18 PM
took longer than I wanted to get mine done, figured I'd go with the more light-hearted one and my slightly mad-science engineer Schrodi rather than the longer one that's more fitting for a court-martial sorta scenario.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,346
# 137
04-14-2013, 10:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by danqueller View Post
@sander233 - Thank you for your comments! I know the assault on the station was not covered as well as it perhaps should have been, but the problem of posting stories on a forum is that you start worrying about the length of text you have to work with, and I probably got a little concerned it was going to be too long as it was. Still, every story improves with editing and taking time to look it over. Glad you liked the piece!
Considering the last two stories I posted each ran 30 pages in MS word ( ) I don't think you need to worry about running out of room.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,836
# 138
04-14-2013, 10:58 PM
@knightraider6: Thank you for that lovely mental image indeed...

-------------------------------------------
I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,346
# 139
04-14-2013, 11:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
@knightraider6: Thank you for that lovely mental image indeed...

What he said.

I <3 Schrodi. Walking onto a station full of angry Gorn in your underwear with a plan to kill them in humiliating fashion takes serious guts.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,203
# 140
04-15-2013, 01:13 AM
Well, I finally finished my story despite a malfunctioning laptop's attempt to kill it by shutting down and deleting the autosave. I reconstructed the story in handwritten form and intend to transcribe it tomorrow. Parts of it aren't what I'd hoped for due to the frustration and the rush job, but I hope that when it's ready, you'll enjoy it nonetheless.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


Sig by gulberat. Avatar credit to balsavor.deviantart.com
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:18 AM.