Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 106
# 131
04-29-2013, 06:56 PM
Whew - okay, I'm back home with a computer and everything again! Now, to at least get a few comments in...

@sanders233: Your stories always make me so curious about what's waiting in the game, since you incorporate so many of the later missions into them. Very well done - the way K'Jetsk's family found itself gradually enslaved couldn't help but remind me of World War 2 and the start of the Holocaust. And on a lighter note, I'd love to hear the misadventures of Frank Grimes in the 25th century...

@cmdrscarlet: An intriguing story, and one that feels very "Romulan" with its brooding protagonist and his scorn for other cultural philosophies. And I had to smile a little at this line: "If the cursed Vulcans had one thing right, it was their control of emotions could help keep a bar tab from getting bigger."

@marcusdkane: It's interesting to read such a casually romantic tale set against such an apocalyptic premise: planets come and go, but life goes on, people meet people and the ladies still love a good tattoo artist. It was also fun how the story only gradually revealed that he is, in fact, a tattoo artist, lending more and more a sense of mystery to what's being talked about. Koi sleeves? Scripts on the spine? Well done!

@superhombre: That was a very creepy story. Very short and concisely told, and the whole thing sent a chill down my spine. Is this the start of a larger story, or just a brief glimpse at the Tal Shiar and how they operate? Either way it works well; I'm going to be locking my door doubly tight to make sure no strange Romulan officers pop up with job offers I can't refuse...

I'll look forward to hopefully getting a few more in tomorrow. Great jobs so far!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 147
# 132
04-29-2013, 07:53 PM
I blame the Crystalline Catastrophe for my low level of participation this round. Tomorrow I'll finally be done with that...

@ capnmanx - that was a nice short entry and very open-ended.

@ cmdrscarlet- I also enjoyed your entry. It would have been hilarious if Kovem walked out of the bar on a mission...and then bumped into the doorframe, lost his balance, and made a fool of himself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
@superhombre: That was a very creepy story. Very short and concisely told, and the whole thing sent a chill down my spine. Is this the start of a larger story, or just a brief glimpse at the Tal Shiar and how they operate? Either way it works well; I'm going to be locking my door doubly tight to make sure no strange Romulan officers pop up with job offers I can't refuse...
Originally I decided to abstain from the Romulan storyline. Instead I wanted to write a short piece in honor of my Federation chief engineer. Eventually I realized that I'd buried him in too many technicalities, so I retreated to my tried and true story prompt - how can I make a character suffer? That's how I ended up with this one.

Now I have three problems. I need to figure out who is pulling the strings in Nahash's life, who tried to kill my Federation captain, Everitt Carter, and whether or not Carter will survive. I will continue the Romulan story if/when I come up with a suitable follow-on entry.

Lock your door tonight...but they can watch you sleeping with an infrared camera.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,455
# 133
04-29-2013, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by superhombre777 View Post
how can I make a character suffer?
[shamelessplug] if you like suffering you'll love my latest offering in LC 40. [/shamelessplug]


I can sympathize with your dilemma(s). I've written one character into a coma and General Ssharki's got some serious staff problems to deal with sooner or later...


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics

Last edited by sander233; 04-29-2013 at 08:28 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,585
# 134
04-30-2013, 04:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
It's interesting to read such a casually romantic tale set against such an apocalyptic premise: planets come and go, but life goes on, people meet people and the ladies still love a good tattoo artist. It was also fun how the story only gradually revealed that he is, in fact, a tattoo artist, lending more and more a sense of mystery to what's being talked about. Koi sleeves? Scripts on the spine? Well done!
Welcome back, and thanks I guess I was aiming for the mundane rather than the epic in terms of ocurences, and yes, everyone wants to be friends with the tatt-man
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 155
# 135
04-30-2013, 05:23 PM
@awesometific

I like the Newscast theme ... not something you see in Trek a lot, but would exists.

@stellardrift

Some good visuals. You swap viewpoints, might want to keep to one (How would Ynala know Janei's heartbeat was drumming in Janei's ears?). Also good emotions.

@benkenobi09

I always approve of people spitting out soup. It's funny. The journal entry blocks are kind of hard on they eyes, wouldn't hurt to break them up into smaller paragraphs. Might just be my screen. Good building up of where Sarik starts, and his rise of status.
Chewson Pwan - VA
S.S. Doff Lundgren
Former PWE Community Team Lead
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 9,046
# 136
04-30-2013, 06:43 PM
I'm going to extend this challenge for another two weeks If you are going to be making multiple Romulan Republic characters, feel free to break the rules and make additional posts in the entry thread if you'd like to flesh out their background stories.

Cheers,

Brandon =/\=
Brandon "BranFlakes" Felczer | Former Community Team Lead for Perfect World Entertainment
Captain
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 522
# 137
04-30-2013, 07:36 PM
Well, this is certainly an interesting turn of events. I was actually writing a Romulan-themed story, but it...kinda fell apart on me. Hopefully, with this extra time, I'll be able to get something posted.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 557
# 138
04-30-2013, 07:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pwebranflakes View Post
I'm going to extend this challenge for another two weeks If you are going to be making multiple Romulan Republic characters, feel free to break the rules and make additional posts in the entry thread if you'd like to flesh out their background stories.

Cheers,

Brandon =/\=
Thank you very much, Brandon!! Hopefully I'll be able to get something out in the next two weeks.
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"In the game of war, there are no clear rules you can follow." - Andrew Waltfeld
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 139
04-30-2013, 07:49 PM
Hmmm...Might write something from Selana's point of view, expand her back story a little more before LoR comes out.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,455
# 140
05-01-2013, 01:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pwebranflakes View Post
I'm going to extend this challenge for another two weeks If you are going to be making multiple Romulan Republic characters, feel free to break the rules and make additional posts in the entry thread if you'd like to flesh out their background stories.

Cheers,

Brandon =/\=
That's two more weeks to backfill LC #40. Thanks!


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:24 AM.