Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
...is now on my list of worst written mission. Read on!
Search the Facility Omega Geminorum Kappa 852-Y facility
Found this little gem in the Khazan Expanse

So it begins with the discovery of an abandoned facility beneath ground on a planet inhabited by a prewarp civilization. Prime Directive is quickly introduced. Cool, I know how this works.
Apparently Starfleet believes the facility was made by Strekkleans... and wants me to investigate. Sure thing, I'm on it. As I approach the planet, sensors indicate it's not abandoned as intelligence had suggested. My tactical officer wants me to presume the Strekkleans inside the facility are hostile until proven otherwise. ...um, ok. Well I guess that's what tactical officers do. They over react and want to shoot first and run sensor scans on the charred corpses later.

I mean, how many times did the Enterprise discover some alien probe only to have Worf chime in without skipping a beat suggesting they raise shields and lock phasers? It happened all the time. But of course, Picard was all like, "chill the ef down... open hailing frequencies" Then he'd roll his eyes and mutter something about Worf's dishonored father, but we the audience never heard that part.

Anyways, so I beam down.
About 5 steps in my tactical officer chimes in again, talking about how "Hostile intent confirmed sir."
Really? Seriously? Well ***** Sherlock, share your gift !! How'd you deduce that? Was it the stalactite over there that gave it away? Maybe let's reserve judgment until AFTER we talk to them. How about we try it my way this time eh?

So we make our way down a rocky hall and come across a computer in the middle of a giant cavernous cave. Ignoring that oddity, I access the computer. Turns out the Strekkleans are using this base to monitor the prewarp civilization above; my officers are irate. How dare they do this, they can only have ill intent right? Seriously... I mean, Starfleet would NEVER do this... oh wait, we do it all the damn time. (ref ST:TNG "who watches the watchers" & ST:Insurrection). But, since this alien race isn't the Federation... they can't POSSIBLY have GOOD intentions... peaceful intentions... scientific intentions. Because, if it's a 'good' race it's a member of the federation right? And all the rest are pedophiles and warmongers. Right, that's how it works right?

Moving along. I finally come across some actual Strekkleans, standing around... doing nothing. Just like every other race I've killed so far. Well, being a man of reason I casually walk up to them.
They open fire on me. I guess I can't blame them. I mean, what would you do if you were sitting at your desk and five Strekkleans walked up to you with phaser rifles pointed at your buddies down in accounting? Well, if you had a gat in your desk, you might just try and open up on the moffos right?

So we waste 'em. Happens all the time. I try to talk to some chap and I get a phaser to the face. It's cool. I'm used to it. But then I go and I access another computer and it turns out that the Strekkleans WERE evil all along!! They were using the base not just to observe but to subtly manipulate the populace to prepare them for conquest!

Wow, I should listen to my tactical officer more often. Shoot first, scan corpses later. Gotcha. I'm a really terrible Starfleet officer aren't I cryptic? I mean, I'm god awful! How did I end up in command of a ship again?? Oh, right... senior ensign redshirt on a derelict. But I mean geez, I could have gotten my team killed. Thank goodness you didn't include an 'open hailing frequencies' button, I'd be liable to get my whole crew slagged!

So thank you STO for teaching me what Gene Roddenberry spent so many years trying to get across to us all. ***** is pretty damn simple; if it's different from you it's up to no good so you better vaporize the sucker before it has time to pillage and burn and whatever those funny looking guys over there do. Don't even bother talking to em... just mash 'f' repeatedly because you know the only thing they have to say is some BS about how their going to enjoy sending you to a fiery grave or something unseemly about your mother.
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