Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 1 Homage to Galris: Main Thread
05-14-2014, 09:40 PM
As the war with the Klingons wages on, you and your gallant crew are called to Risa to investigate an incident aboard the U.S.S. Missouri. The Missouri was escorting the Andorian and Galrisian ambassadors to a trade conference between member and non-member worlds.

All is not as it seems and the future of the Federation depends on your actions. Can you solve the mystery and save the Federation from a threat within its borders?


Mission Name: Homage to Galris
ID: ST-HFAZTV5AX
Author: Joe_King
Language: English
Allegiance: Starfleet
Level: Any



Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.

Last edited by chepetico2; 06-01-2014 at 05:11 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 2 History of the Galrisians
05-14-2014, 10:02 PM
The Galrisians are a warm blooded coelurosaurian race who originate from Galris, a class M moon of the gas giant Ronil in the Teli System in the Delta Quadrant. Galris was about 95% as massive as the Earth and was covered in extensive forests and seas.

The daytime sky of Galris was nurtured by the life giving rays of Teli and the nighttime sky was dominated by the beauty of Ronil. These celestial bodies were a strong influence on prehistoric Galrisian culture. Duality was a central theme of Galrisian Mythology. The mythology taught that every force in the universe existed with an opposite and equal force. The Galrisians viewed force as necessary to nurture and destruction as necessary to creation. This outlook was a factor in the development of a caste system composed of warrior and priests, laborers and landowners.

The caste system remained unchanged until the primacy of the Alovian Kingdom was established on the Ruvki continent. Alovia started as a regional confederacy that grew into one of the first Galrisian nation states. After nearly a millennia of warfare the Alovian Kingdom established its hegemony over the Ruvki continent. The primacy of the kingdom led to an increase in commerce and the establishment of two new castes, the merchants and scholars. The activities of these new castes triggered an industrial revolution in Alovia.

The success of the Alovian Kingdom led to the adoption of its social structures by many of the emerging Galrisian states, most notably by the Sanian Empire. The Sanian Empire rose to become the chief rival of the Alovian Kingdom. Ultimately, the Sanian Empire found itself unable to compete in military expenditures with the Alovian Kingdom and on Stardate 2410.01 a financial crises triggered a revolution against the caste system. The Sanian Revolution established the Union of Sania, a radical casteless state.

Following the establishment of the Union the rivalry between Alovia and Sania developed into an ideological struggle. The two sides invested heavily in conventional, nuclear and biological weapons. On Stardate 5407.04 Alovia herself succumbed in the Alovian Revolution. Reactionary elements in the military released the Hata virus, a genetically engineered doomsday weapon. The resulting pandemic claimed the lives of 75% of the population of Galris and enabled the military to re-establish the caste system in Alovia.

Following the pandemic Sania and Alovia signed a treaty of peace and on Stardate 6405.01 the Galrisians united into the Galrisian Commonwealth. The Commonwealth provided representation to the lower castes in the Venkidal, the Commonwealth's representative legislature, but maintained the caste structure and wealth disparity. The next two hundred years were spent rebuilding their society and developing the Teli System.

On Stardate 16001.15 the Galrisians achieved warp drive and the Commonwealth set about colonizing nearby star systems. By Stardate 22951.88 the Commonwealth had established colonies in 50 nearby star systems when the Galrisians came to the attention of the Borg. On Stardate 23872.02 a Borg Cube assimilated Galris and then proceeded to assimilate her colonies. The Galrisian survivors termed this holocaust the Nalbar.

A fleet of 150,000 Galrisians escaped the carnage and spent 40 years fleeing the Borg and wandering the Delta Quadrant. In the course of their travels the Galrisians heard rumors of a vast association of worlds that managed to beat back the Borg. The fleet spent 10 years seeking the Federation and on Stardate 61030.83 the survivors found a haven in the Alpha Quadrant.

Internal division has kept the Galrisians from joining the Federation. The Galrisian Dal is split between two factions, the Dalikri and the Daliuni. The Dalikri favor continuation of the caste system and an eventual re-establishment of the Commonwealth in the Delta Quadrant. The Daliuni favor an egalitarian society, establishment of a new home world in the Alpha Quadrant and membership in the Federation. Until Galrisian society can resolve these differences the prime directive prevents the Federation from interfering.

Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
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Last edited by chepetico2; 05-17-2014 at 01:12 AM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 3 Biography for Ambassador Zokil
05-14-2014, 10:04 PM
Ambassador Zokil was born in the Nulvia Prefecture of the Alovian Kingdom on Galris on Stardate 14805.15 to a family with a long and honorable history of service to the Alovian Royal House and the Galrisian Commonwealth. Zokil excelled at his studies and training and was noted to be one of the most promising students of his generation. His teachers even speculated that his skills would surpass those of his father, the renowned Commander Calil.

Calil was chosen to lead the Galrisian Fleet assembled to meet the Borg threat on 23712.38. Calil fought bravely and his fleet managed to inflict severe damage on the Borg Cube but unfortunately the Galrisians were outclassed and defeated. Calil was caught and assimilated. He received the Borg designation Calikor, speaker for the Collective to the Galrisian Commonwealth. Calikor contributed his knowledge of Galrisí defenses and lead the Collective in its victory and assimilation of the Commonwealth.

Defeat was all but certain following the loss of the armada so the Commonwealth organized a fleet of 150,000 refugees in order to preserve their culture. Zokil was among those chosen. The Galrisian Fleet managed to escape from Galris a day before the Borg arrived. The fleet managed to distance itself from the Borg as they were preoccupied with the assimilation of Galris.

Initially many were suspicious of Zokil and many of his classmates held him in contempt. However, he was able to meet every challenge and was more than capable of defending himself. His martial abilities won him the respect and trust of Jupi, a member of the Alovian Royal House. The two became very close and Jupi grew to consider Zokil his brother.

Zokil completed his training on Stardate 32971.57, after which he received his first commission as a fighter pilot. He earned his reputation as the best fighter pilot in the fleet and became something of a celebrity. His reputation was put to good use on Stardate 42253.39 when he used it to help thwart an attempted coup.

After years of wandering in the Delta Quadrant many of the lower castes were demanding increased rations and political rights. The civilian leader of the fleet, Colaki Tuvki, endorsed a proposal to transform the representative legislature, the Venkidal, into an organ of direct democracy. Many progressives suggested that all Galrisians should participate in questions before the caste houses instead of leaving these questions to representatives. The traditionalists viewed this as a dangerous reform that would lead to the destruction of the caste system.

A coup was launched and Tuvki was removed from office. Zokil and Jupi were among the young idealists who lead the populace in peaceful protests that forced the traditionalists to back down. Tuvki was reinstated and reform of the Venkidal was implemented. Zokilís involvement was instrumental in sustaining the opposition to the coup.

Following the coup Zokil received his first command, the Palidon. This was a reward for his loyalty and a precaution from his popularity. The Palidon was the lead ship of the Second Squadron and under Zokilís command it was instrumental in the fleetís victory in the Subron War and in the fleets passage into the Gamma Quadrant. Under Zokilís command the Second Squadron would go on to survey the Witte Sector where the Galrisians first learned of the Federation.

Zokilís exploits turned him into a living legend and on Stardate 51105.41 he was named Fleet Commander, the highest ranking military officer in the fleet. Under his command the Galrisian Fleet safely left the Gamma Quadrant and established the Galrisian Dal on Una II. He oversaw the orderly transition of the Galrisian Fleet into the Galrisian Militia and retired from active service once the process was complete.

He was enjoying a peaceful retirement when duty called again. Political infighting between the Dalikri and the Daliuni was hampering every effort to govern the Dal. Pressure was building within the Federation for a boycott of Galrisian exports due to the caste system and there was talk of a military takeover. The priest and landowner castes were supporting the Dalikri candidate for Colaki and the merchant, laborer and scholar castes were supporting the Daliuni candidate. The vote within the warrior caste necessitated a recount which swung the Daliuni victory to the Dalikri leading to charges of vote tampering. To preserve order both sides agreed to nominate Zokil. He was a note supporter of the caste system but was also a noted supporter for the reformist Colaki Tuvki. Zokil was elected and was sworn in as Colaki on Stardate 70420.64.

His administration removed restrictions that had been placed on the Daliuni that impeded their organizing ability. He also included many Daliuni within his administration. Though he continued to support the caste system the Dal could site measurable improvement in Sentient Rights to their critics in the Federation. These actions and growing tensions with the Klingon Empire helped the Dal avoid a Federation boycott. As a matter of fact trade increased and the Administration of Colaki Zokil is remembered as a time of peace and prosperity for the Dal.

Following the end of his term on Stardate 75013.79 he was named Galrisian Ambassador to the Federation. As Ambassador he was the principle negotiator for the Dal at the Una Conference. On Stardate 79605.67 he signed the Una Protocol.

Ratification of the protocol led to increased cultural contact between the Dal and the Federation. The increase acceptance of egalitarian principles led to increased support for the Daliuni. Everyone in Galrisian society was forced to take sides and Ambassador Zokil did so as well. In a speech given on Stardate 85960.21 he detailed how his experiences in the Federation led him to alter his support from the Dalikri to the Daliuni. He made an impassioned appeal to abandon the caste system and to embrace an egalitarian society.

This speech had a huge impact on Galrisian society and led to the Daliuni surpassing the Dalikri in support. His abandonment of the caste system has earned him many enemies but his change of heart has led to speculation that the Galrisians may soon abandon the caste system.

Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.

Last edited by chepetico2; 05-23-2014 at 06:31 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 4
05-17-2014, 01:57 AM
Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to let you all know this is now the master thread for Homage to Galris. Please free to leave any comments here and thank you for your reviews!

Joe_King

Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 5
05-29-2014, 09:32 AM
Hello Everyone!

I just wanted to let everyone that in advance of the reviews being turned on I've obsessively tested and played through Homage to Galris and it is ready for testing and reviews!

This is actually my second mission. About two years ago I submitted a mission entitled A Warrior's Honor. Since then one of the maps got corrupted and the story is a little dated with some of the plot twists in STO and it's no longer available. I actually had the idea for this storyline back then but between school and life I didn't have a chance to complete it.

I used the lessons from my last submission to improve this one, I hope you find the story engaging and the experience immersive.

I know there has been a lot of concern over helping new authors so I will be doing my part, but I will have to work this in between work, my girlfriend and self study. However I want to make reviews an integral part of my STO experience. We have a great community of authors and we need to help each other out!

Thank you in advance for everyone who gets a to review this mission and good luck to all the new missions out there!

Joe _King

Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 151
# 6 Surprise Review!
05-31-2014, 08:37 AM
Surprise!

A Review of Homage to Galris, a Foundry Mission by Joe_King.


______Main Review______

With a story that builds on the well-developed backstory of the Galrisians seamlessly, this mission can be a refreshing experience compared to most STO missions. There is a lot of fascinating information on the Galrisians, so if you like to read, then this is the mission for you. The background information is definitely one of the highlights of this mission.
I donít want to spoil the story, so all I can say is that, while it may seem slow at first, it builds up momentum as you solve a mystery.
Combat makes a brief appearance in the mission, but works very well with the story.
Overall, this is a good mission that is definitely worth a play-through.


_______For the Author_______

General Observations:

- As I said in the main review, you did an awsome job on the Galrisian backstory. You also did a good job of building the story on top of it. I believe that backstory building is a strongpoint that you can leverage in any future projects you may have in mind.


Mission description:
- "As the war with the klingons wages on..." put a comma after the word ďon.Ē Also, you might want to make "All is not as it seems..." its own paragraph to make it read just a little better.

- To avoid potential confuson, you might want to make the mission start button at Risa a simple "Begin Homage to Galris" as the response.

- Also, you might want to add in a note that states how long the mission may take, since some players may want to know how much time they need to set aside to play it.



Map 1:
- "Good, lets rendezvous with..." might want to replace [b]lets with [b]let's.


Map 2:

- Zokil Factpage 2: "used it to help thwart an attempted coup. A coup was launched..." I think that this part could be worded better. Maybe reword it to something like "...used it to thwart an attempted coup, which was aimed at removing Colaki Tuvki from office..."

- You put a lot of thought into the Galrisian's backstory, well done!


Map 3:

- Nothing to note, well done!


Map 4:

- "Now if you'll excuse us my First Officer..." might want to add a comma after the word "us."

- Good map work.


Map 5:

- Nothing to note here, well done.


Map 6:

- General Movli: "...are you ready to give your for the...." you might want to change "your" to "yours."

- Geneeral Jupi "...together we will move than survive.." should this be "...we will do more than survive.."?

- To me, the story seems to have ended rather abruptly. Maybe you should add some extra dialogue to end that helps tie things up a little more.


Aside from these little foibles, you did an excellent job!

_________________

End of Review.
(^^) <> <> Happy Holidays! <> <> (^^)

Omnitabula Part 1/3: Awakening will release on January 7th, 2015!
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 7
06-01-2014, 11:59 PM
Hi starfarertheta!

Thank you so much for your review, I truly appreciate it! I've gone ahead and updated my mission, as you can see with the above updated mission description, and I estimate it will take 30 to 45 minutes to complete. Thank you for your kind review and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks again,
Joe_King

Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 8
06-09-2014, 09:06 AM
Hello Everyone!

Now that the Risan Summer Event is now live it's the perfect time to try out Homage to Galris!

Thanks,
Joe_King


Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 9
06-24-2014, 10:30 AM
Hello Everyone!

Thus far ' Homage to Galris ' has a 4.75 rating after four reviews!

Will you be the necessary fifth review?! We shall see!

Thanks to everyone that has reviewed thus far!

Joe_King


Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.

Last edited by chepetico2; 07-09-2014 at 08:29 AM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 177
# 10
06-24-2014, 09:49 PM
Updated the scene confrontation: CHECK!

Updated signature with a Star Trek Font: CHECK!


Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.
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