Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 127
# 1 The Surprise Review Thread
05-26-2014, 06:15 PM
___________The Surprise Review Thread_____________

I was inspired to do surprise reviews when I surprised Askrik23 with a review.

It's been fun so far.


Other Foundry Missions: A Routine Mission, The Unsung Missions [Rewards Qualified!]

Last edited by starfarertheta; 07-11-2014 at 12:52 PM.
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 9,374
# 2
05-26-2014, 06:17 PM
This is a great idea. It surely made my night.
King of Lions rawr! Protect the wildlife of the world. Check out my foundry series Perfection and Scars of the Pride.
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...1#post13990891
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 127
# 3 Surprise Review!
05-26-2014, 07:19 PM
@Ashkrik23
Edit: Glad it made your night!
Somebody else is going to be a little surprised soon, at least I hope so.




A Review of Bait and Switch, a Foundry Mission by StarSword C.


_________________Main Review_____________

If you love stories, then you will definately want to check this one out. While it is a long one, the story will keep you invested in that time. I should know since I actually had to remind myself that I was reviewing a mission, and thus should be taking notes, and not simply experiencing it.

Speaking of experiences, the production value of this mission is really high with great world-building laying a strong foundation with which the mission makes great use of. What I mean by world building is that the author went to great lengths to provide background information on characters, places, and events to even having everything named. Bait and Switch offers a great example of this, although it really isn't all that surprising considering that there is a novelization of this mission.

I found the story in this one to be really good, with all the dialogues being written in "prose style," as the author will announce at the start of the mission. Some may find it a little strange compared to dialogues elsewhere in STO, but I for one liked it as I'm sure others will too. It just goes to show that there is more than one way to tell a tale.

The combat segments were well done, and all of them felt never felt out of place as the story called for every single one. I would say that the battles are mostly easy, except for at least one. I won't spoil where that one is, but you'll know it when you get to it.

Those who like to explore a little will find something in this mission too, so just take a look around the environments, especially one of the ship maps.



__________For the Author (Spoilers)_________


General Observations:
I really don't have anything to critique with this one, you almost did too good a job. That said, there were some things that you could take a look at, but most of what follows is my comments as I was playing the mission.

Map 1:
- Nothing to note here.

Map 2:

- Nice eerie mood to the place.

Map 3:

- Just a little niggle here, but I thought that there could've been just a little more explanation on why I was now heading toward a waypoint. Maybe you should add something along the lines of "Now that that is over, we should look around to see if anything else is here."

Map 4

- Nothing to note here.

Map 5 [Ground]

- Just a little thing, but the bulding after passing the natural, rocky arch (after the 2nd enemy group) looks like it is floating a little on one side and may need to be lowered.

- "...I'm needed more here..." I'm not sure if this word actually means something, or if I discovered a swear that I was somehow unaware of, but "reassed" seems like a typo to me.

Map 6

- The ship class responses made me smile a bit.

- Now what in... space?... is going on in engineering? "What happens in engineering stays in engineering?"

You could make a funny side quest out of that.

Map 7

- Nothing to note, except a job well done.

Map 8

- Now that is a battle.

Map 9

- Well done.

Map 10

- Oh that will definately buff out.

To sum it all up, it was a very enjoyable mission that had very little things-that-need-to-be-looked-at that I could find. Good Job!


________________________________________

End of Review

Last edited by starfarertheta; 05-27-2014 at 04:14 AM.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 127
# 4
05-31-2014, 07:38 AM
A Review of Homage to Galris, a Foundry Mission by Joe_King.


______Main Review______

With a story that builds on the well-developed backstory of the Galrisians seamlessly, this mission can be a refreshing experience compared to most STO missions. There is a lot of fascinating information on the Galrisians, so if you like to read, then this is the mission for you. The background information is definitely one of the highlights of this mission.
I donít want to spoil the story, so all I can say is that, while it may seem slow at first, it builds up momentum as you solve a mystery.
Combat makes a brief appearance in the mission, but works very well with the story.
Overall, this is a good mission that is definitely worth a play-through.


_______For the Author_______

General Observations:

- As I said in the main review, you did an awsome job on the Galrisian backstory. You also did a good job of building the story on top of it. I believe that backstory building is a strongpoint that you can leverage in any future projects you may have in mind.


Mission description:
- "As the war with the klingons wages on..." put a comma after the word ďon.Ē Also, you might want to make "All is not as it seems..." its own paragraph to make it read just a little better.

- To avoid potential confuson, you might want to make the mission start button at Risa a simple "Begin Homage to Galris" as the response.

- Also, you might want to add in a note that states how long the mission may take, since some players may want to know how much time they need to set aside to play it.



Map 1:
- "Good, lets rendezvous with..." might want to replace [b]lets with [b]let's.


Map 2:

- Zokil Factpage 2: "used it to help thwart an attempted coup. A coup was launched..." I think that this part could be worded better. Maybe reword it to something like "...used it to thwart an attempted coup, which was aimed at removing Colaki Tuvki from office..."

- You put a lot of thought into the Galrisian's backstory, well done!


Map 3:

- Nothing to note, well done!


Map 4:

- "Now if you'll excuse us my First Officer..." might want to add a comma after the word "us."

- Good map work.


Map 5:

- Nothing to note here, well done.


Map 6:

- General Movli: "...are you ready to give your for the...." you might want to change "your" to "yours."

- Geneeral Jupi "...together we will move than survive.." should this be "...we will do more than survive.."?

- To me, the story seems to have ended rather abruptly. Maybe you should add some extra dialogue to end that helps tie things up a little more.


Aside from these little foibles, you did an excellent job!

_________________

End of Review.

This review can also be found in "Homage to Galris: Main Thread."


Other Foundry Missions: A Routine Mission, The Unsung Missions [Rewards Qualified!]
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 173
# 5
06-01-2014, 10:51 PM
Hi starfarertheta!

Thanks for the review, it was a pleasant surprise! I got a chance to go through my mission and correct the errors. I also added an effect for the player to hit the combadge whenever they contact someone on another ship. Thank you for your review, a second pair of eyes always helps! I also tried to flesh out the ending a little to provide more of a resolution and my estimate for this mission is 30 to 45 minutes and has been added to the mission description.

I truly appreciate the time and effort you took, thanks again and I might surprise you with a similar favor!

You Rock!

Joe_King


Please leave comments or suggestions on the main thread for Homage to Galris at the following link.
Also feel free to check out some of my other projects at the following link.

Last edited by chepetico2; 06-01-2014 at 11:03 PM.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 127
# 6
06-10-2014, 10:49 AM
@Joe-King, Your welcome! Sounds like I may have to give it another go sometime.


Now, to business...



A Review of "First Cause, Then Effect", a foundry mission by RogueEnterprise
So I was looking for a mission of yours that I could review, and then I remembered that
I had actually played this one not too long ago. I wasn't keeping notes then, but I felt
that I should play it again so that I could write up a review for it.



_______Main Review________

This was a fun, well-thought out mission that has an engaging story. It really felt like I was playing through a TNG episode! Great care was taken to make sure the whole time-loop scenario worked flawlessly.

There is not a lot of combat to found in this mission, but what's there provides a challenge; with sometimes interesting results. It also never feels out of place in relation to the story.

All in all, I can see why this one was spotlighted, and would recommend play-thoughs except that it looks like everyone found it already. I still recommend a play-though anyway.


_____For the Author_______

These notes will cover my impressions of the maps in this mission. I couldn't actuall find any faults that I thought needed correcting which is good news since this is a spotlighted mission. I've heard that editing one of these is a little problematic


Map 1:

- Good map design. Well done.

Map 2:

- Well done.

Map 3

Nice trigger work, especially with how you presented the Klingon surprise attack.

Map 4:

- This seems familiar...

Map 5:

Nice trigger work, and good story telling here.

Map 6:

- Well done.

Map 7:

- I don't know why, but things seem different this time....


Map 8:

- Challenging combat here, and good dialogue.

Map 9:

- Challenging space combat here, and a good mission ending.



Well done!

__________________________________________________

_____End of Review_____


Other Foundry Missions: A Routine Mission, The Unsung Missions [Rewards Qualified!]
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 127
# 7
06-10-2014, 10:55 AM
Hold on, I've got another one here...

A Review of "Contamination," a Foundry Mission by Evil70th.

______Main Review___________

This was an excellently written story mission that I believe deserves more plays than it currently has. I did not use the "skip dialogue" buttons when reading the dialogue because I found all of it fascinating. A lot of effort went into writing them and it produces a very well done experience.

There was also a lot backstory written into the people and places found in this mission which I always appreciate.

Combat is optional, although I believe doing to whole mission covert style is the way to go.

All in all, I highly recommend this one to story lovers, and to those that like to solve situations ninja-style.


________For the Author________

General Observations:

- I liked your use of humor.
- There is a good amount of very well written backstory.
- I can't seem to recall so much idioms being used in a mission before. I think it added that much more to the experience.

Map 1:

- Some periods seem to be missing from some of the second dialogue set.

"...been noting in his log the war seemed to be." I think that you should insert a "that" between "log" and "war" to make the sentence flow better.


Map 2:

- Gavin IV:" ...variety of governmental organizations however there" I would suggest changing this to "...variety of governmental organizations. However, there are...."
- Captains Log: "...interfere in the natural development of culture..." I suggest you change this to "...interfere in the natural development of a culture..."
- Nice transition.

Map 3:

- Nothing to note, well done.

Map 4:

- Nice town.
- Again, well done.

Map 5:

- Nothing to note here, well done.

Map 6:

- I enjoyed this bit.

Map 7:

- Good trigger work here. And I liked the stun solution to the guards problem.

Map 8:

- Nice ending.



All in all, this was a very well put together mission. Good job!

_______________________

______End of Review_______


Other Foundry Missions: A Routine Mission, The Unsung Missions [Rewards Qualified!]
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 8
06-10-2014, 06:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by starfarertheta View Post
Hold on, I've got another one here...

A Review of "Contamination," a Foundry Mission by Evil70th.

______Main Review___________

This was an excellently written story mission that I believe deserves more plays than it currently has. I did not use the "skip dialogue" buttons when reading the dialogue because I found all of it fascinating. A lot of effort went into writing them and it produces a very well done experience.

There was also a lot backstory written into the people and places found in this mission which I always appreciate.

Combat is optional, although I believe doing to whole mission covert style is the way to go.

All in all, I highly recommend this one to story lovers, and to those that like to solve situations ninja-style.


________For the Author________

General Observations:

- I liked your use of humor.
- There is a good amount of very well written backstory.
- I can't seem to recall so much idioms being used in a mission before. I think it added that much more to the experience.

Map 1:

- Some periods seem to be missing from some of the second dialogue set.

"...been noting in his log the war seemed to be." I think that you should insert a "that" between "log" and "war" to make the sentence flow better.


Map 2:

- Gavin IV:" ...variety of governmental organizations however there" I would suggest changing this to "...variety of governmental organizations. However, there are...."
- Captains Log: "...interfere in the natural development of culture..." I suggest you change this to "...interfere in the natural development of a culture..."
- Nice transition.

Map 3:

- Nothing to note, well done.

Map 4:

- Nice town.
- Again, well done.

Map 5:

- Nothing to note here, well done.

Map 6:

- I enjoyed this bit.

Map 7:

- Good trigger work here. And I liked the stun solution to the guards problem.

Map 8:

- Nice ending.



All in all, this was a very well put together mission. Good job!

_______________________

______End of Review_______
Thanks for the review. I made the corrections you mentioned. You were definitely right about the run-on sentence. I completely rewrote that into two separate lines.

I also fixed the dialogue on map two as you suggested for the second dialogue. On the first dialogue, I added a semicolon between "organizations" and "however" vice separating them into two separate sentences. I am glad you pointed it out as an issue because I missed it.

Thanks again for the review.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 127
# 9 Surprise Voporak!
06-21-2014, 12:56 PM
A Review of Of Morals and Ethics, a Dark Foundry Mission by Voporak.

_______Main Review (SPOILERS!)_______

A dark tale, this was. It is a story about what you are willing to do when thrown into a universe of deception, death, guilt, downright villainy and any other adjectives following the same theme. The whole dark, alternate universe is put together so well that it creates a gloomy atmosphere that adds so much the experience.

The story was well written with some gut-punches in a few, key places. There is also a nice dose of humor sprinkled throughout, although considering the darkness of the story it may bother some players. All in all though, the story is well written.

Combat only appears in a few places, but they were not out of place.

The names of nearly all the characters can be fun to read.

To sum this one up, those with high in moral fiber may find this one to be somewhat bothersome, and those lacking in moral fiber should find this to be quite enjoyable. Those somewhere in the middle have another well-built mission to play.

_____For the Author__________

Here are some notes I made while playing the mission. It contains both things that I think you should look at and my general observations.

Map 1:

- I found nothing wrong here, Well done.

Map 2:

- Nice trigger work.

- The little melee going on around the station was a nice touch.


Map 3:

- The station falling apart was a nice touch.

- Taka's Full Voporak History Dialogue: "...he often simply turns a blind eye one me." Should change that to "...he often simply turns a blind eye on me."

Map 4:

- Cog is an utter...

- Hmmm, I think I might know who this "preacher" guy might be.

Map 5:

- About halfway through this map I just used cloak, set aside my officers and stealthed the rest of it. It was kinda fun, although the last part was quite tense.

Map 6:

- Furzel is an utter ....

- "They were all innocent civilians..." *sees I'Zira* ....

Map 7:

- Noted nothing wrong here, Well done.

Map 8:

- I enjoyed looking at the character names here.

Map 9:

- *Preacher is revealed* I had a feeling...

- Voporak Dialogue: "If don't see it my way...." could be changed to "If you donít see it my way..."

Map 10:

- Ah! Paradox!


All in all, well done.


____________________________

End of Review


Other Foundry Missions: A Routine Mission, The Unsung Missions [Rewards Qualified!]

Last edited by starfarertheta; 06-30-2014 at 06:47 PM.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 127
# 10 Suprise!
07-02-2014, 08:03 AM
A Review of Scars of the Pride Part 4: Evolution of Evil, a Foundry Mission by Ashkrik23.


General Opinion:
Featuring an excellent, intense story and combat, this mission is the climatic conclusion to the first half of the Scars of the Pride series. I can only imagine what's in store for the conclusion to the whole series!

Highlights:
- Great Story.
- Great characters.
- Good map work.
- Increasingly intense combat.
- Optional objectives.
- Some will get a kick out of the cameos.

Notes for the author (!Spoiler Alert!):

">>>" = Suggested dialogue changes.


Dialogue, Breaking the Station's Defenses:
- "We have cloaked and will..." >>> "We have cloaked ships and will..."
- "Be weary of Ferasan...." >>> "Be wary of Ferasan forces."

Dialogue, Deep Space Nine Reinforced:
Player Response, "For it may be, general. However there still..." You might want to look into rephrasing this as I found it to be a little confusing. Maybe try something like "Though it may be, General, There is still..."

Aside from those, I thought you did an excellent job in authoring this mission, especially the ending! (I have a bad feeling about that courtesy-of-I'Zira-scar.)

___________________________
End of Review.


Other Foundry Missions: A Routine Mission, The Unsung Missions [Rewards Qualified!]

Last edited by starfarertheta; 07-02-2014 at 08:08 AM.
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