Yesterday, I thought it would be funny to give my girlfriend a potato for Valentine's Day.
Yes, a potato.
Let me explain.
What does a rose signify? Well, let's take a look at roses. They're very pretty, yes... but besides looking nice, do they have any purpose? Can they be eaten? Yes, but not for nourishment. Can they be used as a power source? Anything at all? No. They're useless. Secondly, they live no more than a couple of days, and that's if you put them in water.
So what does a rose say about a relationship? "Our relationship is based entirely upon looks, and won't last very long."
But a potato.
Potatoes may be ugly, but they're useful. You can cook and eat them. They can be cooked in hundreds of ways. You can even eat them raw! And they last forever! Even when they have little green things growing from them, you can just cut those off, and you're still okay to eat it! They can even be used as a makeshift battery! Potatoes are very useful, and last forever. Quite the opposite of roses, yes?
So shouldn't a potato be the greatest symbol of love?
I thought so.
(Don't worry, we're still together, she's not that shallow, but she was kind of unhappy. :p)
If we're gonna be lifting jokes wholesale from comedians, we could at least be giving them due credit!
Man, thats the single most horrible thing I could think of that could happen, my daughter is 20 months old and I cant even sit still at work I miss her so much. When I play with her and we laugh I think that befor her my life was really not worth living, and I don't think I would want to face another day without that.
Anyways ..for what it's worth
I once had a date with an amazing skinny red head with huge.......tracks of land, for me it was like a dream come true. As I am going into the drive in ( yes we still have a few drive ins here) a friend of mine, who I hadn't seen in a while, is walking by and jumps into the car with us. He is literally in the front seat with us, he pushes the girl over to the middle of the seat and starts jaw jacking. He wont shut up, I tell him "get the -F- out can't you see I am trying to get something going here". He grabs a lawnchair and sits outside the door of my 72 Ford Gran Torino ( very big seats in the Gran Torino, very roomy ) and keeps running his mouth. I never closed the deal that day, what a freaking embarassment. 20 years later, the girl, never heard from her again, this idiot calls me every week.
It just occurred to me, maybe he thought he was my date, and she was interfering.....AAAAAAAAGGH!