Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 264
# 1 Explore Delta Volanis 4171C
07-29-2014, 07:51 AM
I've published my first mission. An exploration format subtitled "The Snare"

Please check it out and provide feedback. I'm really interested to see how the hallway scene turns out for different players (I had mixed results while testing but I can't bring myself to gut it).

Many thanks to all of the great tutorials on StarbaseUGC. I watched all of them and they are an immense help to new authors. Also to Kirkfat and Markhawkman for their help in the forums.

The mission is in Review so you will need to search for it there.

Title: Explore Delta Volanis 4171C
Author: rekurzion
Level: 31+
Faction: Fed

Following Kirkfat's lead this is my attempt at recreating an exploration cluster mission and taking up the challenge to continue what he started with his Delta Volanis Missions 1 and 2. It should play around 30-40 minute.

Thank you.

Last edited by rekurzion; 10-08-2014 at 08:44 PM.
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 264
# 2
07-30-2014, 10:43 PM
Made some spelling corrections and added a choice for the final scene.

Please check it out and let me know what you think.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 37
# 3
08-03-2014, 12:25 AM
Great stuff rekurzion! Really clever use of the foundry. And thanks for giving us choices to run or fight! Keep refining those dialogues. Grammar and spelling and such. This is spotlight material for sure!
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 264
# 4
08-06-2014, 09:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stratiar View Post
Great stuff rekurzion! Really clever use of the foundry. And thanks for giving us choices to run or fight! Keep refining those dialogues. Grammar and spelling and such. This is spotlight material for sure!
Thanks for the feedback. I'm curious, how did the 'hallway scene' work out for you?
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 264
# 5
08-06-2014, 11:00 AM
Thanks for the reviews to those that played and the feedback, my mission is now out of review.

I'll be updating the hallway scene as its play isn't as consistant as I'd hoped (damned NPC's will do anything to get into the fight )
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 264
# 6
08-07-2014, 02:50 PM
Updates

- more spelling corrections and general dialogue fixes
- modified hallway scene to ensure more consistant gameplay
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 264
# 7
08-23-2014, 06:26 PM
Recent Reviews:

djxprime
Very nice! I think you gave an exploration experience that you couldn't get with the old exploration cluster missions.

Stradius
You really know your way around the Foundry! Nice work! Keep refining the dialogue text. This is spotlight material!

Hauriant
Long for exploration, but excellent. Has a good TOS feel that's still STO. Excellently eeire ground maps.

captainbella1219
Saw the post on the forums, great mission! A little tidying up here and there and this would be worthy of becoming a possible future spotlight. Again well done.




Thanks to all of the captains who have played and left reviews. Keep 'em coming!
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 264
# 8
10-08-2014, 08:48 PM
I'm happy to announce my first mission now qualifies for standard foundry rewards!

Recent reviews

helixfungus
Man, your mission is good ! DO MORE !

matthewluctaylor
That was brilliant mission, felt like an episode with a very good plot and characters to it, I love if this definitely gets 5 out of 5

jospehlwiess
Good story.


Thanks to all. And I saw you posted a new exploration mission helixfungus so I'll have to give it a play.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
Quote:
Originally Posted by rekurzion View Post
evil70th, I would really appreaciate an in depth review as you have time. This is my first mission and is meant as an Exploration Cluster mission with more oopmph than what Cryptic gave us in the past.

Mission Name: Explore Delta Volanis 4171C
Author: rekurzion
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HARM78KB4
Estimated Mission Length: ~30-45mins

Subtitle is called: The Snare
Federation Mission - Explore Delta Volanis 4171C - The Snare
Author: rekurzion
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HARM78KB4

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with several excellent map designs, tough but fun battles and outstanding story dialogue. I did not find any spelling or grammatical errors in any of the dialogue. This mission was a little longer than 45 minutes but was so engaging that it was hardly noticeable. It had a good balance of story and fighting to keep it interesting. I would highly recommend this mission to other players.

Below is one issue in the description and one with the Entrance map I thought you may want to correct. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: The description is okay but needs more of the story to draw the player in and make them want to click 'Hail'. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding the start location for the first custom map.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This dialogue needs to have more of the story added. Just like the description above you want something here that draws the player in so we click the 'Accept' button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good use of the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this initial task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Sector 1c: This is a good map design with excellent story design. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Sector 1c: This is a good map design with very tough combat and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Entrance: This map design is great and has a lot of potential but other than a transition seems to serve no purpose. I understand the effect you were going for but consider adding more dialogue or other activities to make the map worth using, otherwise consider removing the map.

Facility 3: This is a great map design with fun combat and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Facility 3: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue and some fun combat at the very end. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Habitation: This is a good map design with tough but fun combat and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Sector 1c: This is a great map design with nice effects and well written story dialogue. I like the choices you give the player for saving the rebels or leaving them. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Sector 1c: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with the development of this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 11/25/2014 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request. The specific report in that posting can also be viewed here: Mission Critique Report - Explore Delta Volanis 4171C - The Snare
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 148
# 10
11-25-2014, 11:59 PM
My, my.....For your first mission, you smacked this one out of the park. OUTSTANDING!

Imagine my disappointment when, after completing the mission (I loved how you ended with the "Engage" button) I checked the Foundry to see if you had perchance published anything else and seeing this wasn't the case.

EAGERLY looking forward to your next mission.
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