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# 41
02-25-2010, 05:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vapur
i'm all for skirts and long hair in game

Lets have them please Cryptic
Well, at least you have sort of long hair in now....

I'm holding out for slinky bodysuits like T'Pol used to wear.

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Posts: 120
# 42
02-25-2010, 10:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackwheel
I thought you were going to complain that Federation Men were using Bat'leths to lift up women's skirts? That is their intended purpose you know.

Carry on.
If I find a loathsome earther male attempting to do such a thing to me, I shall show my bat'leth expertise on the lower region of his anatomy. The search for such an area will be a long one on earther males. Klingon males are much more pleasing on the eyes.

This is a great reason why women should not wear short skirts. While federation women love to be dominated by their male counterpart, we klingon women fight for our place. We now own our own houses.

It is true that we have not always been the heads of our house, but with the glorious wars against the federation, the jem'hadar, and the borg, our men realize that a woman can slice off the head of the Targ like any other klingon male. We are now much more respected by our klingon males. If any federation earther needs training in these matters, please send a transmission to IKS Vixen. My crew will relate the message to me.

Signed,
Lurcita of the House of Kleri

Qua'Pla!
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Posts: 120
# 43
02-25-2010, 10:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JackShadow View Post
Well, at least you have sort of long hair in now....


"They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far and no further! And I will make them pay for what they've done!" -Capt. Jean-Luc Picard

I find myself conflicted about the legendary Captain Picard. As a Klingon who was assimilated by the Borg before the battle of Wolf 359, I have great hatred for his earther Picard. While in the collective, there is no mention of this earther being one of the collective.

As legend has it, this earther was assimilated and then was used to attack both the federation and the klingon empire. Indeed yes, the klingon empire. Several of our ships joined the battle of Wolf 359 because they were...in the area. However, songs of Klingon battle was not heard anywhere in the Federation.

Starfleet has cleverly collected all recordings from our fallen klingon comrades at Wolf 359. However, I know the truth. Picard was never assimilated by the Borg. He, instead, allied himself with the Borg to destroy our breathren in Wolf 359.

The stories of all of the "valiant" federation ships lost in that battle are questionable. I believe these vessels witnessed the pact between Picard and the Borg and attempted to stop it. Picard had the Borg destroy them and our klingon bretheren to cover up the hidden alliance. No klingon will believe that the Enterprise, under command of a subordinant could single handedly destroy a cube.
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Posts: 120
# 44
02-25-2010, 10:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliedelta View Post
Dear Starfleet:

Please include as standard equipment for all pretty female captains the following:

Short Skirts

Plunging necklines

2 Bat'Leths for dual wielding

Apparently this will enamour the klingons. they will be so enraptured by sexy human women showing cleavage and superior prowess with their own bat'leths that the war will end immediately. Expect a message from Lurcita from the house of whoever to send you a message of gratitude and offering full klingon subjugation if the above mentioned conditions are met. Section 31 looks forward to ending the War with the klingons, so we have more resources with which to beat up a worthy opponent like the Romulans with.

Sincerely
me


Earther....Where can I begin with such an insane communique to Starfleet. Did you not realize that we would be able to intercept such a transmission? Let me respond to this message with more time than you deserve.

Romulans are inferior to Klingons. However, I'd prefer to combat one of them over an earther for many reason. One is that they believe that in order to expand, they must conquer. The federation likes to help inferior and backwards cultures to obtain technology that they would never be able to obtain on their own. This is insane. The Romulans would never do such a silly thing.

Getting back to the appalling first portion of your communique, believe it or not, I would agree with this. There are no pretty earthers in starfleet. If anyone could find an earther who is prettier than we klingon women, then they should be able to wear anything. It is a strong possiblity that starfleet males would like to conquer the klingon empire just to merge dna with us. While I understand that inferior people want to better perfect themselves, we klingon women do not wish to pollute our blood line with earther swine.

Signed,
Lurcita of the House of Kleri

Qua'Pla
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Posts: 120
# 45
02-25-2010, 11:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zylpha
While federation women love to be dominated by their male counterpart, we klingon women fight for our place.

Signed,
Lurcita of the House of Kleri

Qua'Pla!
Well, as long as you know your place, that's about all that matters.

Carry on.
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Posts: 120
# 46
02-25-2010, 11:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintHazard View Post
Why leave the male BOffs out? Skirts and Bat'leths for them, too!
"...what could be more surprising than the First Battalion Transvestite Brigade?"

The Klingon will never know what hit them.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 47
02-25-2010, 11:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zylpha
Earther....Where can I begin with such an insane communique to Starfleet. Did you not realize that we would be able to intercept such a transmission? Let me respond to this message with more time than you deserve.

Romulans are inferior to Klingons. However, I'd prefer to combat one of them over an earther for many reason. One is that they believe that in order to expand, they must conquer. The federation likes to help inferior and backwards cultures to obtain technology that they would never be able to obtain on their own. This is insane. The Romulans would never do such a silly thing.

Getting back to the appalling first portion of your communique, believe it or not, I would agree with this. There are no pretty earthers in starfleet. If anyone could find an earther who is prettier than we klingon women, then they should be able to wear anything. It is a strong possiblity that starfleet males would like to conquer the klingon empire just to merge dna with us. While I understand that inferior people want to better perfect themselves, we klingon women do not wish to pollute our blood line with earther swine.

Signed,
Lurcita of the House of Kleri

Qua'Pla
If you get them at just the right age, human males will merge DNA with anything that has 2 legs and a heartbeat :p
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Posts: 120
# 48
02-25-2010, 11:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliedelta View Post
If you get them at just the right age, human males will merge DNA with anything that has 2 legs and a heartbeat :p
Yes, that age is narrowed down to between about 10 years old and death.
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Posts: 120
# 49
02-25-2010, 11:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliedelta View Post
If you get them at just the right age, human males will merge DNA with anything that has 2 legs and a heartbeat :p
Why should a heartbeat be necessary?

...

What?
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# 50
02-25-2010, 12:04 PM
So OP, every Klingon not part of the Alliance is dishonorable? And every non-Klingon who uses a bat'leth sullies the essence of the weapon? I find your views lacking in wisdom. You insult what could be a very worthy opponent with your base and uninformed assumptions,.
And you worry too much about the length of your feminine opponent's garments when you should be concentrating more on where their weapons are pointed. Their clothing length should not matter to you if you are half the warrior you believe yourself to be.
And just as a side note, I earned my bat'leth by thrashing a Klingon Dahar Master with my bare hands, while wearing no armor. If you still feel I didn't earn the blade honorably, we can settle this on the field of battle.
I won't be using my fists, but I will be "in your face" about it.

Salenzar Durakian, Mekrhani Ambassador
Fleet Commander, 743rd Expeditionary Fleet, "The Voyagers"
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