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# 61
02-25-2010, 02:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChimiTheCellist View Post
When they start swinging I pull one of these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DzcO...eature=related
That's why I love Indiana Jones. Hilarious movie scene LOLL
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# 62
02-25-2010, 02:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackwheel
Well, as long as you know your place, that's about all that matters.

Carry on.
Indeed we do. When the Klingon Empire conquers the Federation, we shall help you to treat your federation women with more dignity. As for Vulcans.....I believe there is no hope for them at all.

Signed,
Lurcita of the House Kleri
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# 63
02-25-2010, 03:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravenstein View Post
Proper Female Earthican Battle Dress consists of Short Skirts and Katanas.

This combination is much superior to the Klingon...things...as the skirt presents much greater mobility to allow for flanking attacks while the Katana does not look like something made an intoxicated, novice smith who has never seen a real fight in his life.

I mean seriously, it bows inward. Why would you do that with a weapon? At least if it arches outward it could be used for slashing. But as it is for a straight thrust you need to get with nibbling range. I mean if if your opponent had a dagger it would be in your gut before the inward bowing made impact.

And the way you swing it around your body, it's like you want to loose a hand. Or ear. And those sharp, spiky bits on the tip? Why would you swing it around like that. You would be concentrating more on not taking off your own hand then on fighting the other guy.

No thanks on the funky weapon. Gimme a sword. Straight and to the point, if you catch my drift.



Little? I have a Battleship my xeno friend!
Be sure that they do not take your Battleship.

Personally, I enjoy the Bird of Prey that I have. It resembles my hunting etiquette. I strike when a Federation ship feels it is safe. Until Klingon boots land on Earth, no Federation warship will ever be safe. Klingon Expansion must continue.

Signed,
Lurcita of the House Kleri
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# 64
02-25-2010, 03:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zylpha
I find myself conflicted about the legendary Captain Picard. As a Klingon who was assimilated by the Borg before the battle of Wolf 359, I have great hatred for his earther Picard. While in the collective, there is no mention of this earther being one of the collective.

As legend has it, this earther was assimilated and then was used to attack both the federation and the klingon empire. Indeed yes, the klingon empire. Several of our ships joined the battle of Wolf 359 because they were...in the area. However, songs of Klingon battle was not heard anywhere in the Federation.

Starfleet has cleverly collected all recordings from our fallen klingon comrades at Wolf 359. However, I know the truth. Picard was never assimilated by the Borg. He, instead, allied himself with the Borg to destroy our breathren in Wolf 359.

The stories of all of the "valiant" federation ships lost in that battle are questionable. I believe these vessels witnessed the pact between Picard and the Borg and attempted to stop it. Picard had the Borg destroy them and our klingon bretheren to cover up the hidden alliance. No klingon will believe that the Enterprise, under command of a subordinant could single handedly destroy a cube.



Lurcita

I would like the formally apologize for not singing the songs of praise of the Klingon's fight against the Borg.

The federation has been busy singing songs of the Klingon empires great tribble hunt instead.

Sincerely,

The Crew of the U.S.S. Genseric.

p.s. Skirts and the Bat'leth are standard issue for all the Genseric crew. It seems Klingon males are easily dispatched due to distraction and a general lacking in fighting prowess when facing the far superior power of long legs.
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# 65
02-26-2010, 05:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desdecardo View Post
Lurcita

I would like the formally apologize for not singing the songs of praise of the Klingon's fight against the Borg.

The federation has been busy singing songs of the Klingon empires great tribble hunt instead.

Sincerely,

The Crew of the U.S.S. Genseric.

p.s. Skirts and the Bat'leth are standard issue for all the Genseric crew. It seems Klingon males are easily dispatched due to distraction and a general lacking in fighting prowess when facing the far superior power of long legs.
I regret that there are weak Klingon males. However, I am happy that all of these individuals are sitting on the ships of the federation. They cower and pray that our empire does not take over your Federation. They know that they are traitors....but they refuse to admit this to themselves. Some, like our dear returned warrior Worf, have realized the error of their ways.

True Klingon males are never surprised in battle by the legs of Federation females. As I sip my bloodwine on the bridge of my dear warship, I think about what you have written.... It is quite disturbing..... I must speak with a friend of mine on the High Command at Quo'nos. Somehow I must try to convince someone to push forward our time-table of conquering the Federation. The women of your Federation must be taught not to be exploited...

I may have to reverse my decision to kill short skirted Federation females on sight for now on. I truly feel sorry for them.


Great Tribble Hunt indeed... I do not find your humor very amusing....

Signed,
Lurcita of the House Kleri
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# 66
02-26-2010, 06:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GT01 View Post
So OP, every Klingon not part of the Alliance is dishonorable? And every non-Klingon who uses a bat'leth sullies the essence of the weapon? I find your views lacking in wisdom. You insult what could be a very worthy opponent with your base and uninformed assumptions,.
And you worry too much about the length of your feminine opponent's garments when you should be concentrating more on where their weapons are pointed. Their clothing length should not matter to you if you are half the warrior you believe yourself to be.
And just as a side note, I earned my bat'leth by thrashing a Klingon Dahar Master with my bare hands, while wearing no armor. If you still feel I didn't earn the blade honorably, we can settle this on the field of battle.
I won't be using my fists, but I will be "in your face" about it.

Salenzar Durakian, Mekrhani Ambassador
Fleet Commander, 743rd Expeditionary Fleet, "The Voyagers"
Dear Ambassador Durakian,
I find your communique quite amusing. Where should I begin? You call yourself an ambassador....however if you are trying to convince me to agree with your views, I find that you need more training in diplomacy.

A true Klingon, like myself, does not have to prove myself in battle to those who are not Klingon. My battle prowess will speak for itself my dear Ambassador.

I find it amusing that you would want me to believe that you earned this bat'leth from a Klingon Dahar Master. I have heard of Starfleet holodecks. I wonder if this weapon that you have is a mythical one such as your holograms. We Klingons do not need....holographic projections. When we fight, we wish to enjoy the Glory. A true Klingon trains by the physical damage that they receive in battle....We do not play holographic games and then drink.....what is that foul drink that you earthers love??? Oh yes....Earl Grey Tea.

My feeling about "female garments" are of my opinion only. Other Klingon women dress as I do, however....consider it a targ-peeve of mine. I am even well cultured in your expressions.

I shall see you in battle, Ambassador. After the minute is up, I shall go back to hunting true warriors...the traitorous Romulans.

I truly hope there are more Ambassadors like you. Klingon Expansion will occur at a much faster rate.

Signed,
Lurcita of the House Kleri
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# 67
02-26-2010, 06:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zylpha
That's why I love Indiana Jones. Hilarious movie scene LOLL
YES that scene is brillaint, and its made me think topical on this argument

there on a scorched battle field stand a klingon and starfleet captain, the klingon considerably larger and more menacing drenched in blood swinging his bat'leth waiting to strike the puny human down and bathe in his blood....

the starfleet captain clearly unamused by all these showy stunts draws his phaser and disintegrates the klingon. with a smirk the victorious captain remarks "was today really a good day to die?" then turns his back and walks off into the smokey distance.

humorously this version is better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_qd4jLgo2c
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# 68
02-26-2010, 06:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lethargic
"...what could be more surprising than the First Battalion Transvestite Brigade?"

The Klingon will never know what hit them.
Battalion Transvestite? Is this a new Starfleet Superweapon?? A Starship no doubt...I must speak with someone on Quo'nos abot this....

Signed,
Lurctia of the House Kleri
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# 69
02-26-2010, 06:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charliedelta View Post
If you get them at just the right age, human males will merge DNA with anything that has 2 legs and a heartbeat :p

I have heard such stories of horror. This will have to change.... Of course, after the Klingons take control of Starfleet, we will leave....breeding areas....for all earthers. We do not want to change your culture. But, regretably the Federation is in the way of our Expansion and must be moved....

Signed,
Lurcita of the House Kleri

Qap'La
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# 70
02-26-2010, 09:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxilos View Post
YES that scene is brillaint, and its made me think topical on this argument

there on a scorched battle field stand a klingon and starfleet captain, the klingon considerably larger and more menacing drenched in blood swinging his bat'leth waiting to strike the puny human down and bathe in his blood....

the starfleet captain clearly unamused by all these showy stunts draws his phaser and disintegrates the klingon. with a smirk the victorious captain remarks "was today really a good day to die?" then turns his back and walks off into the smokey distance.

humorously this version is better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_qd4jLgo2c
Yea, the quotes are funnier with this video clip. OMG Noob LOLLL
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