Hey there folks. Someone brought up the old Jeff Foxworthy "Redneck" one-liners at work this week. It took only seconds for the idea of adapting them to STO to pop into my head. Here for your enjoyment are just a few that I can remember.
...you think the Galaxy Class cruiser is manufactured by Ford.
...setting phasers to stun means you pistol-whip your opponents.
...fighting Klingons involves toilet paper.
...you refit your Danube Class shuttle with oversized warp nacelles.
...you've ever eaten a tribble.
...you think the Enterprise is a rental vessel.
....you have a stihl in Engineering.
...compare Romulan Ale to wine coolers or light beer.
...think Gorn is something you grow in a field.
...you have more than one starship in your fleet that has no items assigned to them.
...name one of your Bridge Officers "Bubba."
...you've hung a pair of fuzzy dice on your main veiwscreen.
...you have to be stopped from wearing camo clothing every time you go on an away mission.
...you take an individual asking for the Federation to grant them asylum to a looney bin.
...you've ever tried to replace your Impulse engine with a big block 350.
...you've ever tired to replace your big block 350 with an Impulse drive.
...you have a starship named for any Confederate officer.
...you believe Moonshine was first made on the moon.
...you think the Prime Directive is some sort of new-fangled computer controled part in your engine.
...you reported to the bridge for the very first time with a fishing pole and bait.
...you were disappointed there was no body of water under the bridge to go fishing in.
...you have more hunting dogs than bridge officers.
FYI folks, this is just for fun and NOT intended to poke fun at, or demean anyone.
It's a mildly derogatory term for anyone from the back woods of the "South". The South is generally the south-eastern states in the United States, most, if not all, of the states that seceded in the US Civil War.
Google Jeff Foxworthy and "You might be a redneck" for more info. And remember that it's an exaggeration, a stereotype and a cliché. But of course, like any other stereotype, there are a few people that fit it to a "T".
"Redneck" because the men are supposed to have sunburnt necks from being out in the sun all day.
And you might be a Space Redneck if . . .
Your Primary and Secondary hulls are different colors.
Your Primary hull is duck-taped to your Secondary hull because they each come from different classes.
Your Primary hull has the Confederate flag instead of the Federation Insignia.
You have more than one targ lashed to the hull. (One is questionable. Two is certainty.)
You ripped the sleeves off your uniform tunic. And don't wear the undertunic.
You carry your phaser pistol tucked into the waist band of your pants.
You have ever had to visit the infirmary due to a "personal" phaser burn.
Directions to your home planet include "turn out of Federation space . . .".
Admiral Quinn has ever suggested you visit the refresher before going out again.
You have ever detailed an ensign to collect the empties from your bridge. And turn them in for refund value.
The hull of yer ship is painted primer
If you cut the nacelles shorter to make the engines louder
If your standin orders for the mess hall is to serve only biscuits and gravy for breakfast
If you ever asked an admiral to move headquarters to 'bamma
if you pick your exploration by the fishin holes
if your uniform is flannel
Your starship looks like a Winnebago
Your quarters look like a double-wide trailer
You have a pack of cigarettes rolled up in your sleeve
There is more oil in your hair than in engineering
You requisition your uniform to be made from plaid and denim
You bite your comm badge to see if it is real gold
If your Captain's Yacht looks like a bass boat