Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Hey there folks. Someone brought up the old Jeff Foxworthy "Redneck" one-liners at work this week. It took only seconds for the idea of adapting them to STO to pop into my head. Here for your enjoyment are just a few that I can remember.

...you think the Galaxy Class cruiser is manufactured by Ford.

...setting phasers to stun means you pistol-whip your opponents.

...fighting Klingons involves toilet paper.

...you refit your Danube Class shuttle with oversized warp nacelles.

...you've ever eaten a tribble.

...you think the Enterprise is a rental vessel.

....you have a stihl in Engineering.

...compare Romulan Ale to wine coolers or light beer.

...think Gorn is something you grow in a field.

...you have more than one starship in your fleet that has no items assigned to them.

...name one of your Bridge Officers "Bubba."

...are xenophobic.

...you've hung a pair of fuzzy dice on your main veiwscreen.

...you have to be stopped from wearing camo clothing every time you go on an away mission.

...you take an individual asking for the Federation to grant them asylum to a looney bin.

...you've ever tried to replace your Impulse engine with a big block 350.

...you've ever tired to replace your big block 350 with an Impulse drive.

...you have a starship named for any Confederate officer.

...you believe Moonshine was first made on the moon.

...you think the Prime Directive is some sort of new-fangled computer controled part in your engine.

...you reported to the bridge for the very first time with a fishing pole and bait.

...you were disappointed there was no body of water under the bridge to go fishing in.

...you have more hunting dogs than bridge officers.

FYI folks, this is just for fun and NOT intended to poke fun at, or demean anyone.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
03-27-2010, 09:10 AM
Dude! Two things!

My cruiser wasn't made by Ford... I'm a Chevy guy!

I send my bridge officers to the brig if they make fun of my fuzzy dice!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
03-27-2010, 09:18 AM
your Constitution class is on your front lawn, on concrete cinder blocks. Sans nacells.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
03-27-2010, 09:40 AM
...You throw chairs when you are angry
...You yell "Yeeehaaaaw!" when you initiate warp
...You say "Git r done" instead of "Engage"
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
03-27-2010, 10:03 AM
You say "got your ears on" instead of "hailing frequencies open."

Your captain's chair has a gun rack above it and a beer cooler under it.

You mounted horns on the front of the saucer section.

Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
03-27-2010, 10:03 AM
Is this thread about me? I'm am soooo reporting this!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
03-27-2010, 11:49 AM
.... you are a bearded guy named Sacerd...





*hides* i love you teddy bear!!!

heh
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
03-27-2010, 11:50 AM
LOL what are you saying?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
03-27-2010, 12:00 PM
Kidding puddin... kidding!!

I don't think of the lumberjack song when i see your picture, I swear!!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
03-27-2010, 12:01 PM
mmmm pancakes....
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