Is there any way to define if your "in character" or role playing? It can be quite irritating when your
wanting to play and someone is role playing and your not. Especially when you try to inform them your playing the game for fun and they start in by saying, " I can see you don't follow chain of command captain and threaten to kick you". It's irritating and annoying for both types of players I'm sure.
Usually you want to indicate to them that you are out of character, and say something like "OOC: Hold on a sec, I wasn't in character there and I'm not sure what the rules of this RP are so could you explain?"
If they continue to be in character and don't respond to you with any useful assistance, then they're not really role playing very well.
And you should just, at that point, do whatever you would normally do.
I've had some good RP experiences in STO. And some horrid ones.