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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
*This is a joke. Keep this in mind, okay? Good.*

Went and checked my email on my break at work (still kinda on that break) and came across two headlines in the backlog of AOL news (which is like a cleaner wrass that follows the CNN shark around, picking food from its gills and teeth) and came across two shockingly similar headlines.

Birds freak out then die in Arkansas

The fish, not wanting to be left out, also freak out then die

So. How will be all begin preparing for the microwave radiation apocalypse?

Or... perhaps I am miss-reading the obvious precursor to the Zombies, or maybe the garden gnomes....


EDIT: IT HAPPENED AGAIN!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
01-03-2011, 04:56 PM
If by shocking you mean that the birds are easily explained as being hit by either lightning or hail during travel (which would be expected during the crazy weather throughout most of the country) and that one species of fish is dying (not the local habitat en masse, then yes, it would be shocking.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
01-03-2011, 05:16 PM
Shhh! You're going to ruin the atmosphere in here! Gah!

Actually the local river here sees a fish kill once and a while. All but unregulated companies dumping waste a couple years back actually led to a kill so huge that it clogged the river and kept most boats from going out for a few hours until the tide shifted. So that bit, while visually horrifying, is normal-ish.

As for the birds, made me think of the scene in the Core with Trafalgar square getting rolled by pigeons.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
01-03-2011, 07:15 PM
The Birds!!!!!!!!!!

The Birds!!!!!!!!!!!!

They Are Going To Eat Us All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
01-03-2011, 07:26 PM
To alleviate the worries, I was not testing a death ray. Nor was I involved in any death ray testing. Rumors of me having a death ray have been exaggerated. Somewhat.

One last question. Has anyone seen hort since this mass bird die off?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
01-03-2011, 07:30 PM
No, I haven't... And just to clear things up, the only birds I shoot are the Moa on Reach.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
01-03-2011, 08:01 PM
The autopsy revealed (so far) that it was blunt force trauma that killed them. That pretty much either means high atmosphere hail.... or a giant invisible alien ship.

Some are saying it was the fireworks but I highly doubt that. The 4th of July would be raining birds and the injuries don't seem to support it (blood clots, internal injuries, etc). However it could also just be injuries from the fall to the ground... If something somehow knocked 'em out the fall would kill them and injure them.

Could fireworks knock out a ton of birds? Beats me.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
01-03-2011, 08:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by USS Parallax
The autopsy revealed (so far) that it was blunt force trauma that killed them. That pretty much either means high atmosphere hail.... or a giant invisible alien ship.

Some are saying it was the fireworks but I highly doubt that. The 4th of July would be raining birds and the injuries don't seem to support it (blood clots, internal injuries, etc). However it could also just be injuries from the fall to the ground... If something somehow knocked 'em out the fall would kill them and injure them.

Could fireworks knock out a ton of birds? Beats me.
Actually fireworks would cause the birds to fly irrationally and hit crap - like each other...
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
01-03-2011, 08:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by USS Parallax
The autopsy revealed (so far) that it was blunt force trauma that killed them. That pretty much either means high atmosphere hail.... or a giant invisible alien ship.

Some are saying it was the fireworks but I highly doubt that. The 4th of July would be raining birds and the injuries don't seem to support it (blood clots, internal injuries, etc). However it could also just be injuries from the fall to the ground... If something somehow knocked 'em out the fall would kill them and injure them.

Could fireworks knock out a ton of birds? Beats me.
Fireworks: Nature's dedicated anti-air

wait...
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
01-03-2011, 08:08 PM
They can't see at night any better than you or I and were scared by fireworks/thunder and flew into trees and houses like dumb animals.

Man, I hope South Park makes an episode about this.
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