Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 1 Altar Of Server-Up Time
02-05-2011, 01:13 PM
Ok since Cryptic has tried SCIENCE! and technology to keep the servers going... notice it didn't work... it's time to try a sacrifice to the Network Server Gods.

In order to complete the ritual I will need the following:


One pristine copy of Legend Of The Overfiend, original edition.

Two virgins

Six hairs off of Captain Picard's head

A copy of the funnest Garfield Comic Strip Ever

A quart of oil from a 1996 Dodge Neon with less than 30,000 original miles

President Obama's birth certificate.




Bring them to me, High Priestess Marie and I will complete the ritual. Upon completion, a portal will open and UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH will pour forth into this reality. Lag will be banished to a realm of non-ecludian horrors, and all bugs will be CRUSHED while new features roll out on a timely basis.


...well hop to it kids we got a server to fix!!!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
02-05-2011, 01:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Marie
Ok since Cryptic has tried SCIENCE! and technology to keep the servers going... notice it didn't work... it's time to try a sacrifice to the Network Server Gods.

In order to complete the ritual I will need the following:


One pristine copy of Legend Of The Overfiend, original edition.

Two virgins

Six hairs off of Captain Picard's head

A copy of the funnest Garfield Comic Strip Ever

A quart of oil from a 1996 Dodge Neon with less than 30,000 original miles

President Obama's birth certificate.




Bring them to me, High Priestess Marie and I will complete the ritual. Upon completion, a portal will open and UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH will pour forth into this reality. Lag will be banished to a realm of non-ecludian horrors, and all bugs will be CRUSHED while new features roll out on a timely basis.


...well hop to it kids we got a server to fix!!!
The ritua will never start then.....b/c the thing I highlighted doesn't exist. :p

Haha he's so from Kenya....even a "Welcome to Kenya" border sign even has "Birthplace of B.O." Wish the pic wan't on my phone though...otehrwise I would pot this funny as hell pic
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
02-05-2011, 01:23 PM
Hm.


Well I guess we could substitute the blood of a Tall Canadian Geologist instead. We won't banish lag and there may be some bugs still but it's better than what we have now. :p
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
02-05-2011, 01:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Marie
Ok since Cryptic has tried SCIENCE! and technology to keep the servers going... notice it didn't work... it's time to try a sacrifice to the Network Server Gods.

In order to complete the ritual I will need the following:


One pristine copy of Legend Of The Overfiend, original edition. Done

Two virgins Should be easy enough

Six hairs off of Captain Picard's head Ummm that could be a problem

A copy of the funnest Garfield Comic Strip Ever Don' they have to be funny first?

A quart of oil from a 1996 Dodge Neon with less than 30,000 original miles Easier time to find hair from Sir Patrick

President Obama's birth certificate.
not touching that one with a 10 parsec pole


Bring them to me, High Priestess Marie and I will complete the ritual. Upon completion, a portal will open and UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH will pour forth into this reality. Lag will be banished to a realm of non-ecludian horrors, and all bugs will be CRUSHED while new features roll out on a timely basis.


...well hop to it kids we got a server to fix!!!
Oh and another thing... Capulet is High Priestess here, so if yo uwant the title, it'll require a deathmatch, and she's got The Mallett
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
02-05-2011, 02:01 PM
The sooner we get these items collected the sooner I can fix the server! Come on people! Hop to it!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
02-05-2011, 03:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Marie
Ok since Cryptic has tried SCIENCE! and technology to keep the servers going... notice it didn't work... it's time to try a sacrifice to the Network Server Gods.

In order to complete the ritual I will need the following:


One pristine copy of Legend Of The Overfiend, original edition.

Two virgins
Six hairs off of Captain Picard's head

A copy of the funnest Garfield Comic Strip Ever

A quart of oil from a 1996 Dodge Neon with less than 30,000 original miles

President Obama's birth certificate.




Bring them to me, High Priestess Marie and I will complete the ritual. Upon completion, a portal will open and UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH will pour forth into this reality. Lag will be banished to a realm of non-ecludian horrors, and all bugs will be CRUSHED while new features roll out on a timely basis.


...well hop to it kids we got a server to fix!!!
Male or female?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
02-05-2011, 03:45 PM
Doesn't matter.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
02-05-2011, 04:33 PM
What is this blasphemy?

Everyone around here knows that God-Empress Suzumiya is our favored deity here. And the Suzumiya does not like sacrifices. Offerings of space heaters, digital video cameras, frog costumes, and pellet guns are welcome however.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
02-05-2011, 05:59 PM
Well until someone comes along and crams me into a Nalge Bottle I'm High Priestess Of The Server Gods.

And given that I won't FIT into a Nalge Bottle I do not forsee any curtailment of my rituals.

...any luck tracking down that Dodge Neon oil, folks?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
02-05-2011, 06:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Marie
Well until someone comes along and crams me into a Nurgle Bottle I'm High Priestess Of The Chaos Gods.

And given that I won't FIT into a Nurgle Bottle I do not forsee any curtailment of my rituals.
Fixed that for you.

Captain_Marie has confessed to their heresy! Burn the witch!
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