Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 11
02-28-2011, 09:45 AM
Originally Posted by MGDawson View Post
I can write good, so I'll help if you want.

< once wrote a 12 page "short story" that was supposed to be 2 pages, and could've been a hell of a lot longer.
I wrote a 2 page run on sentence once for creative writing. The assignment was to come up with a terrible beginning sentence for a story.

Our story, like so many ones before in ages past, begins at the logical starting point of beginning at beginning of the story because starting elsewhere, such as the middle or near the end of the story, while sometimes being creatively and artistically done will often leave the reader in a state of confusion and befuddlement over the events that had to have transpired to bring the protagonists to their current state in the story they, the reader, are now involved in but the author must also be aware of not starting too far at the beginning such as the big bang or a bit further down the road such as with the dinosaurs no matter how tempting the desire to write a story starting with the dinosaurs may be such a fantastic story would no doubt draw attention away from the story the reader is trying to tell and often has little to do with the protagonist and his friends unless the story actually does involve dinosaurs in which case starting with the dinosaurs would be a sensible way to begin the story and lead into the main plotline of the story, so the author would probably start his story at the beginning of relevant time of the protagonists such as when they were born although unless the birth itself is exceptional such a start can be a pratfall of itself by starting too soon and forcing the author to deal with the early life of the hero which cannot always be dismissed as readily as one, two, three, and thus beginning at the relevant starting point of the story is where most good stories begin which this story will be attempting to emulate in it's beginning the story at the beginning of the relevant events that are detailed in the story and will when the need to explain events that happened before the story began arises will flashed back to those events where necessary so that we can start the story at a time-tested and logical starting point, namely the beginning.

I did quite well on that assignment.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 12
02-28-2011, 09:47 AM
Very nicely put.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 13
02-28-2011, 12:50 PM
I don't know if you intend this to be a closed thing (I'm cool with that) but I like to write and I think I'm decent at it. I could send you part of a descriptive peice I did the other day if you want heh ( it's actually a bit wet so maybe not ). Anywho..
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 14
02-28-2011, 12:55 PM
I love to's my main way of blowing off steam if you disregard my borderline alcoholism, in fact...sadly, I don't collaborate well with others, and I'd drive everyone crazy. I want to get my second story finished before I even think about another project, anyway.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 15
02-28-2011, 12:58 PM

What story you writing?

And, at the moment, I think I should probably start by throwing out ideas (although I'm omitting the one I had regarding mixing PR and ST...*shudders*

A ship full of cadets stuck in the middle of an unplanned fight
A story following several cadets through Starfleet (this was actually a joint idea I had with TheLastTest - haven't touched it in a while)

And taht's all I can think of atm.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 16
02-28-2011, 12:59 PM
I'm a fairly proficient writer. Let me know if you need help for a writing project. I may be able to help, depending on how busy I am at that time.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 18
03-08-2011, 07:19 AM
Need your thoughts on this little bit I just wrote. It might not make sense, but I need to know what you all think. Thanks.

Begins here:

There comes a time in a person’s life when one begins to wonder about their sanity, which as most people will tell you means you’re obviously not INsane because you recognize it.

I on the other hand, don’t believe that – especially when you’ve switched between another world and the “real” world so many times the barriers between worlds break down.

Let’s face it – reality is relative.

Facts may be the same no matter how you call it, but a lot of things society deems acceptable and normal depends entirely on the society itself. Nowadays with better information technology students are retaining less information and retrieving more of it from the internet – and with the advent of smart phones and smaller computers, people are becoming more and more reliant on it.

Information is much easier to access and retrieve thanks to its light-speed transfer rate. News on the other side of the globe can be heard all over the planet just moments after somebody gets wind of it.

Thanks to this increase in the information exchange rate, technological advances are becoming commonplace. New products featuring new technology are often becoming outdated within six months of their release.

This of course has lead to new advances in law enforcement, and also to unfortunately, crime.

And despite all of these advances, one thing that hasn’t changed is that crime still exists – and the system that processes this entire thing still takes a long time.

Some say that the scales of justice take time to balance. Whether or not you believe that to be true, or whether or not you believe in the system one fact still remains painfully clear no matter how much people wish it weren’t the case.

Victims will still be scarred, and the damage done, permanent.

That was painfully clear as I watched my friend have a seizure on the hospital bed as the medical staff hustled frantically, barking out orders left and right.

I’ll never forget that moment.

Mom was a complete mess as Dad tried to keep a strong front, reminding her about how strong their son was having gone through four years in high school at the New Metro Military Academy.

Their other son was simply watching through the window, speechless. Nothing had to be said; he knew his brother well. The last thing he’d want was to know his entire family was hanging on every word of every breath the doctors were telling them in hope of good news. He never did understand the whole mourning thing since death was inevitable. It wasn’t something you could forestall.
Why cry over something that was inevitable?

Better to accept the fact and instead of mourning over the loss of somebody, celebrate the life they had.

Because in the end while immortality sounded like the ultimate wish, it was not only one of the most horrible things anybody could have happen to them, it was also a very overpowered plot device which made it very tricky to use right.

Oh sure – when one thinks of immortality everybody thinks of being all powerful and being able to do everything they ever dreamed about but never could do out of fear.

But when you get the chance to live forever, unless you have somebody you can share that with your entire life will be just watching friends and family come into the world as a brand spanking new baby only to leave again.

As I watched next to my brother with baited breath, I sighed in relief as my friend finally stabilized, his seizures stopping and his heart monitor steadying. The look on the doctors’ faces was hopeful, which was always a good thing.

The best news they had to give though was when the police had finally gotten around to talking to the family about what had happened.

According to them, the other guy was much worse off than their son was. As an added bonus, they were bestowing upon him a monetary bonus for catching a wanted cop-killer. While it wasn’t the same as knowing that their son would pull through cleanly, it was a small bit of good news to put them at ease for the moment.

It was really heart warming over the next few days when news had finally spread outside of the family to his friends. Some of them had immediately dropped what they were doing and went straight away the moment they got the call, even if they were two or three states away.

The rest of his friends in the area would filter in eventually one or two at a time, offering what words of comfort they could. Even the rest of his graduating class had gotten wind of it and were sending their own messages of comfort, some offering to help in any way they possibly could despite being half a world away.

And somehow, even through all of this hopefulness, I couldn’t help but sigh.

I couldn’t explain it – I just had this indescribable feeling in my gut, but I just couldn’t voice it. It didn’t matter if I screamed it or wrote it, it just wouldn’t sink in.

He was going to die on that bed after a long, arduous struggle, and there was nothing anybody could do to stop it.

But because society tells us that good and unexpected things can happen, they held onto that hope that their son/friend would eventually pull through despite the current situation. Never mind that he had slipped into a coma or that the doctors estimated it would be some time before he would ever wake up again – they had decided they would pull through.

All of us.

EDIT: Mine.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 19
03-08-2011, 07:53 AM
Needs better layout.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 20
03-08-2011, 07:55 AM
...that's it? Nothing on the actual content?

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