Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
“ Plato's Grandchildren” By Raptorwalker
TITLE : Plato's Grandchildren
AUTHOR : Raptorwalker
CODE : ST-HLYK79EDN
LEVEL : Any
LOCATION : Veela, Regulus sector
LENGTH : 10-15 minutes
TAGS : FED
DESCRIPTION : A cryptic message is intercepted from what was thought to be an uninhabited system. Your ship is sent to investigate the source of the message.
LINKS : http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/...latosgrand.jpg

RATINGS OUT OF 5
Gameplay 4.5
Trek 4
Design 3.5
Difficulty 1
Grind 1
THOUGHTS : This is amazingly fun. Not the most original story, but well exectuted. Very rare to find simple and well developed Foundry missions. An Author to look out for. *****/Stars.

Description – Mission location in green please.

Mission Accept Box – Liked it. But more of a Cryptic STO Brief would be nice.

First Thoughts – I finally get to play a mission on one of my new toons. Level 7. I have been looking forward to this mission for a while. Hope it's not TOS related and I don't regret buying the TOS pack for my new character instead of the ENT pack.

1st Door – I have two options here, Preferably change it to [Mission: Plato's GrandChild.] The popup could use abit of a brief about what long range scans in the area show.

Maps:
1.System p-284 – Great map. Waste of a map transition though. Hate pointless map transition text. Move the last popup to replace it then Prepare away team as the continue text.
2.Smuggler Settlement – Love this map. Finally an author used it.
3.Luthars compounds. A bit big and needs more reason. They wouldn't build big rooms like this for no reason. Some Drilling peaces would be nice. Maybe lower the roof with platforms. Make it darker and smaller in some parts.

Objectives:
Three more objects. Is my Engineer incompetent?
1st scan was good lead that to the other two and then have the last one as a separate objective so the Orions warp in onto of me. Preferably at the derelict station.
Jason Wyhn is in a confusing place when trying to hit the reach marker properly. Just have an Interact with contact instead of a reach marker objective.
Defeat Luthars Guards. The third group need moving. I missed them and was ready to shot the last group and shot at them thought the wall.
Story:
1.Some info on the derelict shipyard would be nice using map placed Popup.
2.Feeding the landing coordinace? My klingon Engineer must be feeling perish after his ale last night.
3.Can I use Glaf in one of my missions.

Design:
There are Klingon Grate platforms you could use as a shaft.
I would of liked to disable Luthar before he talked. Use one of the costumes with little or no visuals and put it in an invisible object on top of Luthar or beneath him. This trick comes from Napoleon_Blowapart for anyone who wants to use it.

Comment - |Wow two simple and great mission in one day. This is classy, polished and fun. Realy captures this authors potential as well as the Foundry tool. |Gameplay 4.5|Trek 4|Design 3.5|Difficulty 1|Grind 1|

Please post any other of your missions once ready for a critic.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
“Winaprise Ep 1: Hollow Profits” By OptimusLG
TITLE :
Winaprise Ep 1: Hollow Profits
AUTHOR : OptimusLG
CODE : ST-HUYI2TQLQ
LEVEL : Any
LOCATION : Korvat System (Pi Canis)
LENGTH : 15-30 mins
TAGS : FED, COM, GND, SPC
DESCRIPTION : You have been chosen to assist in the new Starship Reclamation Initiative, an experimental program designed to retrieve damaged halves of Galaxy-Class starships and combine them to create new, functional Galaxy-Class ships. Your first task is to prepare the engineering hull of the U.S.S. Winnipeg for the first test of this new Initiative.

RATINGS OUT OF 5
Gameplay 4
Trek 3
Design 3
Difficulty 3
Grind 2
THOUGHTS : An excellent start to hopefully a repetitive but equally entertaining series. Another great quick mission that has been well executed. Story, Enemies and Exploration are all well situated on an equilateral triangle when it comes to this mission. ****/Stars.

Description – You could tie this into the Outreach program given in the early stages of STO. Add start location in green please.

Mission Accept Box – Great breif, however the mission may seem far fetched only limiting the parts to galxy class ships.

First Thoughts – Another mission to play on my newer toons. Excellent. Hopeing this is a good mission so I will be inspired to play the rest of the series. If not you will have to submit each episode seperately to give others a chance to que there missions in my list.

1st Door – [Enter Korvat system] – Any level mission. Might have more than one listed in this system try [Mission : Title]. More info on what to expect needed. What crisis may I be beaming into.

Maps:

1.Winnipeg Interior. Make all klingon holograms optional.
2.Winipeg Battle Bridge. There are holograms standing on consoles. The group is way to hard to defeat by myself. Can I beam in assistance please.

Objectives:

Pi Canis needs to be added to your first objective if it's not a level restricted mission.

Story:
1.Why a Cardassian terminal instead of a Klingon one.
2.A Ferengi would not confess or agree to knowing or having anything to do with this without persuasion. Would I not arrest him for something?

Design:
Need v to scan when entering the map please. Use Blinking satellite and have it disappear when I approach.
Reach marker on the Winnipeg is too small.
Don't keep me waiting for popups after I kill an enemy. Use reach markers.
On the Winnipeg have all klingon's optional and have them only appear if I try to enter the rooms through a door.

Comment - I just can't get over these quick simple missions. Enjoyed! Gameplay 4|Trek 3|Design 3|Difficulty 3|Grind 2|
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 143
06-05-2011, 05:49 AM
“Winaprise Ep 2: Resurrection” By OptimusLG
TITLE : Winaprise Ep 2: Resurrection
AUTHOR : OptimusLG
CODE : ST-HAGKR6H3V
LEVEL : Any
LOCATION : Earth Spacedock
LENGTH : 15-30 mins
TAGS : FED, COM, GND, SPC
DESCRIPTION : Now that you've successfully brought in a Galaxy-Class engineering hull, it's time to find a saucer. A legendary starship that crash-landed on a distant planet years ago is your target, but retrieving it may not be a simple task.

RATINGS OUT OF 5
Gameplay 3.5
Trek 3.5
Design 3
Difficulty 3
Grind 2
THOUGHTS : A mission with a lot of potential, but basically a great patrol mission with an amazing ST: Generations reference. Another great addition to the series but needs more work polish and plot lines. ***/Stars.

Description – Description then mission location in green.

Mission Accept Box – Directions in yellow mission location in green.

First Thoughts – Nice reference to Generations. And I like the fact I can use my Transwarp after the last mission.

1st Door –
Veridian System – needs to be = Access terminal outside ESD Transporter room. Also to start from this location with receive co ordinance seems pointless. Perhaps I can have a conversation with Quins secretary. And then I'm there.

Maps:
1.Veridian iii – map transition to this location needs work. Beam to ready room research the USS Enterprise, Ncc-1701-D.
2.Veridian surface – There is so much potential story missing here.
3.Enterprise d Bridge, Love it, but floating grass?
4.Admirals office. Platform sticking out of wall?
Objectives:
Modify transporter – needs more information. Okay and then suddenly the office is field with civilians.
Story:
1.I think it's a bit late to be worrying about the local ecosystem.
2.Why would there be theta radiation? You need to research your time line. Also why would the debris still be smoky.
3.Would of liked to try and negotiate with the aliens. If negotiation fails enemies beam in. Or set phasers to stun.
4.I want more story from the Enemy. Possibly they were collecting the Theta for a use on there power generator aboard a ship of planet. Other wise this mission is the saucer of The Enterprise in a patrol mission. Besides the fact that it belongs in a museum.
5.Cliff hanger sucks. Hate missions that don't stand on it's own.

Design:
Enemy should fight like the Dominion Jem'adar.
Have the scan 8 debris objects as separate objectives so I can follow them in order rather than having to run all over the map.
Would of liked to ask my crew to do most of the stuff aboard the bridge and do it myself as optional.
A debis Saucer would have been more accurate.

Comment -
What a shame, this mission has 5 star potential. Needs more information on events and enemies other wise it leaves your with an unsatisfactory cliff hanger. |Gameplay 3.5|Trek 3.5|Design 3|Difficulty 2|Grind 2|
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 144
06-05-2011, 06:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by filbones View Post
Sorti Rising By Commodore_Stipe

TITLE : Sorti Rising
AUTHOR : Commodore_Stipe
CODE :
LEVEL : 31+l
LOCATION :
LENGTH :
TAGS : Fed
DESCRIPTION : You are sent to Sorti Prime to conduct final evaluations for it's application for Federation membership. However, Federation politics and a well kept secret make your choices difficult. The final outcome is up to you. This mission has multiple endings based on your decisions.
LINKS :

RATINGS OUT OF 5 - 27/5/11
Gameplay 3
Trek 3
Design 3
Difficulty 3
Grind 4
THOUGHTS : There is so much to this mission. Unfortunately the authors ability to entertain the player within his plot line is lacking. People who love delving into a new species and love foundry not necessarily for the game play may enjoy this mission. An exploration with far to much thought.****/Stars.

Description –
Start location in green missing.

Mission Accept Box – Mabey an indication to the location being below the promenade so people don't go though all the upper level platforms at ESD. Also a hint to meeting your senior staff there.

First Thoughts – I like the fact that it's at ESD.

1st Door – Thats all good for this system. [Lets Go See What She Wants] Try [Enter: Sorti Rising] or Enter what's her names office.

Maps:

1.Office – Flag at 0 coordinate. A chair is facing the wrong way.
2.Bridge – I think I might need some crew.
3.Sorti System # 2 – Too short waste of map transitions.
4.Hydra Station. Consoles in weird positions.
5.S'trin Base- Boy oh boy are the wild life fit on this planet.
6.Unknown Cave. - Up until this point has been your Prelude to a crisis, which should be 2 maps at most.
7.Sorti System – Well With out the story I might have a clue as too which faction I liked most, however Due to the long massive pointless prelude to this mission. I can't seem to recall any of the main point in this mission. The advancement of the plotline needs more emphasis.
8.Hydra map – Yes finaly this is what I'm talking about. Get me into this type of game play sooner.

Objectives:
Enter Sorti System should be approach Sorti prime or station.
Sirellia Compound – Most over used map in Foundry.

Story:
1.In the office you need Advance dialog. I was enjoying getting into the story. But then it was like popup after popup. Boy oh boy kill me now.
2.Bridge Computer was a nice optional. However I would of liked to do a bit more on this map. Otherwise just have me go straight to the ready room. Rather than give me a bridge that looks nothing like mine.
3.I just don't really care about this race. More visuals of there culture and planet would have been preferable to an Interior. Then when I actually get down to the planet the first thing I see is a distinctively Vulcan building.
4.I can see allot of content going a miss because I'm only following Objectives. Make your worlds more original and focus on Eye candy and none obvious objectives in this kind of mission.
5.“I'm a mutant.” Now this part of the story I want more info on. You give so much info on other stuff that doesn't advance the plot line and don't explain this story element.

Design:
There are many consoles that you can see inside of because there not flush on a wall.
You need to check the wander. Speed 5 slow walk 10 fast walk 15 jog 20 sprint, anything higher is only for the Fantastic 4 or Green Lanter.

Comment - I would of given this three stars, but the author has put allot of work into it. More polish needed. By the time the enjoyment of this mission kicked in, I had Lost interest. |Gameplay 3|Trek 3|Design 3|Difficulty 3|Grind 4|
Thanks for the review. I am, however, going to refute some of your points.

1) In the Councilor's office you state I should use Advanced dialouge. Guess what. I did. There isn't a single pop-up in that section of the story. I can even screen shot the UGC editor if you want to prove it.

2) Given that there is not very many generic componets to the Foundry assets let alone that would match my vision of this culture I actaully think I did well. It's hard to give visuals when the Foundry limits my abilities due to the fact I was trying not to use obvious pieces belonging to the core groups. Yes I used several Vulcan buildings. I did so because they are made of wood. A sustainable, renewable resource on a planet who's surface was devestated by a nuclear war and where non-renewable resources were hard to come by. It actually makes sense with they way they re-fashioned themselves.

3) Make my world more original? You have to be kidding me right? This entire story and all the maps except one, were built from scratch. Only the Hydra station map used to rescue the hostages was pre-built and I used that because it fit perfect for my vision. Again orginality is limited by the Foundry assets available. The entire compound, with the exception of the central Vulcan temple and the outlying buildings, is as generic and different as I could find in the Foundry.

4) Sadly, objectives are the only way to move the stories along. You have to do something on a map to even transition to it. However, if you choose to ignore the fact that in the two places I wanted you to look around first, by actually telling you to do so, then I can't be responsible for that.

5) The first Sorti system map is not a waste. It serves a purpose. If you bother flying around you will find a clue that plays into the story. Second, you will understand the layout of the system for the second go around when you actually have some fighting and rescuing to do.

6) Your comment about many consoles not being flush witht the wall is quite interesting. I would challenge you to define many. Mainly because I placed at most 4 consoles that could be considered needing to be against a wall. All of those are in the diplomatic center. The conoles in the mine are designed to be in the middle of rooms. The rest of the consoles are pre-placed as part of the maps.

7) The prelude is hardly pointless. The only long part I let you skip if you wish. Everything else is part of building up the story. You see the true mission is to evaluate Sorti for admission. Everything else just complicates your life. Without the background you can't make an informed choice. YOu play as a Starfleet Captain. In each and every episode I have ever watched Picard, Kirk, and the like always sought every piece of infomration they could get. It takes time to deliver that kind of information.

8) This mission is long, and it is wordy. However, it is a diplomatic mission at heart. Over the year and a half since launch there have been a number forum posts about wanting more exploration and diplomacy type missions. This mission is an attempt, and by others reviews a good one, to do that. If it is not you cup of tea fine. However, I stand by my design.

9) I will grant you I need to tone down the wander on the critters I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

Sorry to be so long winded by I put a lot of thought an work into this mission and felt justified in answering back to a few of your thoughts.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 145
06-05-2011, 07:01 AM
“Winaprise Ep 3: Arrival” By OptimusLG
TITLE : Winaprise Ep 3: Arrival
AUTHOR : OptimusLG
CODE : ST-HHB7FWK7C
LEVEL : Any
LOCATION : Earth Spacedock
LENGTH : 15-30 mins
TAGS : FED, DIP, GND, PZL
DESCRIPTION : Admiral Smith's Starship Reclamation Initiative is in danger of being shut down if he can't find a crew to man the test ship. Just as he's about to call it quits, new information about Utopia Planitia's mysterious visitors could give Admiral Smith just what he needs to continue his pet project.

RATINGS OUT OF 5
Gameplay 2.5
Trek 2
Design 2.5
Difficulty 1
Grind 3
THOUGHTS : Well to a series well started, it now ends with my interest and a ridiculous story as well as plot holes. Author needs a lesson in story telling. His ability to keep his mission interesting is very well executed, but falls short by not giving the player an explanation within script towards his story elements. ***/Stars.

Description – Once again location format needs work.

Mission Accept Box – Thats all good but the console again. Then start at a system. I bet the 3rd and 2nd Could be incorporated into one mission.

First Thoughts –
I can't help but think your series could be a good Starfleet Academy mission series. Eithur as a training mission in a Holodeck or part of the volunteer cadet Outreach Program.

1st Door – Needs work. Look to previous reviews.

Maps:
1.Science lab – A room of consoles with no purpose?
2.Holodeck, feels like I'm killing these enemy just to get on with the story which there currently isn't any.
3.

Objectives:


Story:
1.2011 high school students? Really? Damn you had me now you've given me more plot holes with out circumstance. I still want to know who the enemy was that attacked me on the planet, don't give me more plot satire until you've at least given me a hint.
2.So far I can see that you've just written this series of the top of your head without future planning.
3.I hope these students have an historical or Trek reference other wise there is no point in forcing me to talk to all of them. Grind?
4.Oh my Blooming Greed, this puzzle is ridiculous, besides the fact that I had to get a pen and paper to complete it there is a most annoying none plot line surrounding it.
5.A far fetch story with no reason and reality. Even within the STO Universe.
6.Combat Training would be the last thing on the list.

Design:
Talk to students needs to be optional.
Only have the puzzel revert back to were the player has completed up to in the puzzle.

Comment - Hmm, No reason to mysterious events makes this mission a satire. This authors style is slowly becoming don't explain what the audience wants to know more about.|Gameplay 2.5|Trek 2|Design 2.5|Difficulty 1|Grind 3|
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
“"Give Peace a Chance"” By Futurecaptain
Title: "Give Peace a Chance"
ID: ST-HEKVFM75X
Author: Futurecaptain
Allegience: Starfleet
Level: 41+
Location: Deep Space K-7 from sector space.
Duration: 20-30 mins
Description: The Gorn have long maintained that much of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants belong to them. While this ideaology has persisted there are some Gorn who wish to see a change. We have planned a peace conference with just such a Gorn to see what we need to accomplish to achieve peace. We have a rare opportunity here, we must take full advantage.

RATINGS OUT OF 5
Gameplay 3
Trek 2
Design 2.5
Difficulty 2
Grind 3
THOUGHTS : This mission is yet another take or rescue the diplomat. Unfortunately due to the Authors intention to do a series, this mission does not stand on it's own, nor influence me to play the sequel. It offers some fun combat and an enjoyable capture the bridge sequence, but other than that it is a grind and finds me wishing this competent author would start with something simple. ***/Stars.

Description – Mission location in green missing.

Mission Accept Box – Excellent another Trans warp mission start location.

First Thoughts – Hmm oh no, another diplomatic conference. Lol...

1st Door – Would of like more info on the popup.

Maps:
1.K7 space – This doesn't look like the one in the real world of STO.
2.Bird of prey upper deck, big interior for such little ships.

Objectives:
Go to K7 System. Just spent 10minutes running around the station after a Trans Warp.
K7 Interior. Really! just copy Starbase 82's map.
Vulcan space – Map transition needs to be previous dialog.
Return to Turbo lift. Are you kidding me. Advance the plotline, never make the player go back.
Check logs - why can't I do this in the captains office.

Story:
1.Why would the Vulcan's not have detected the ships in orbit?
2.Ship interior feels a bit like go here do this then that. Added with the K7 interior this is getting to be very grindy.

Design:
Why not start your mission on the K7 interior social zone?
Beginning of your story should be. Go to k7 space – beam Gorn aboard, brief him in your ready room. Maybe he bought an Orion slave while at K7 or Drozona preferably. Maybe if it were on Drozona you would have to find him.
Why not use Gorn ships?
Never have a battle after a map Transition.

Comment - A poor start to a Foundry series. This mission does not stand on it's own, otherwise it would of been 4 stars. |Gameplay 3|Trek 2|Design 2.5|Difficulty 2|Grind 3|
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 147
06-05-2011, 08:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Commodore_Stipe
Sorry to be so long winded by I put a lot of thought an work into this mission and felt justified in answering back to a few of your thoughts.
No problems, that is why I gave you 4 stars instead of 3. All of what your arguing is up to you and still in your control. You asked for an opinion, I gave you my opinion and now you can choose what to do with it. I am most critical on the missions I want to enjoy, and this is one of them. As for diplomatic missions. "Conjoined" was one of my first reviews on Tribble and loved it. I did everything I could to publicise that mission and now its in most players top 5 foundry missions.

I'm not going to submit evidence to support my claims. As I hope your still working on this mission your more than welcome to resubmit it at a later date. I'm sure once you have done some play thoughts with players and got some others opinions I will enjoy the polished product and look forward to it.

Good luck.

James Cameron
"All criticism is good criticism, it's how I choice to use it that makes me a good director"
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 148
06-05-2011, 08:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by filbones View Post
No problems, that is why I gave you 4 stars instead of 3. All of what your arguing is up to you and still in your control. You asked for an opinion, I gave you my opinion and now you can choose what to do with it. I am most critical on the missions I want to enjoy, and this is one of them. As for diplomatic missions. "Conjoined" was one of my first reviews on Tribble and loved it. I did everything I could to publicise that mission and now its in most players top 5 foundry missions.

I'm not going to submit evidence to support my claims. As I hope your still working on this mission your more than welcome to resubmit it at a later date. I'm sure once you have done some play thoughts with players and got some others opinions I will enjoy the polished product and look forward to it.

Good luck.

James Cameron
"All criticism is good criticism, it's how I choice to use it that makes me a good director"
I understand that and I thank you. The console thing really bothers me though. As I said the only consoles I placed were in Hydra Station diplomatic center. I guess what I really wanted was where you were talking about because if it any other than those few I can do nothing about them as they are pre-placed. If you could clairfy that one issue I would be very thankful. For clarity I am talking about your statement regarding consoles being see-thru as they were not flush with the wall.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 149
06-05-2011, 09:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Commodore_Stipe
I understand that and I thank you. The console thing really bothers me though. As I said the only consoles I placed were in Hydra Station diplomatic center. I guess what I really wanted was where you were talking about because if it any other than those few I can do nothing about them as they are pre-placed. If you could clairfy that one issue I would be very thankful. For clarity I am talking about your statement regarding consoles being see-thru as they were not flush with the wall.
First Blue wall console to the right., in the corridor. As for others I can recall. I remember a platform in the office poking out of the wall though. On the ramp of the other side of the office.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 150
06-05-2011, 09:47 AM
[quote=filbones;3574753]First Blue wall console to the right., in the corridor. As for others I can recall. I remember a platform in the office poking out of the wall though. On the ramp of the other side of the office.[/QUOTE

Thanks I will check those; based on your descriptions though are these in the diplomatic center, or during the hostage rescue and if you can't rember that's ok?
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