Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 291
05-26-2011, 06:59 PM
"Franklin Drake Must Die" has had its final major tweaks until Foundry tech provides new options, and is ready for review please.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 292
05-26-2011, 09:11 PM
Gotcha! I'll be looking for your review.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 293
05-27-2011, 12:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuhr View Post
Author: Kuhr
Title: A Day For The Assassin
Project ID: ST-HNDDNZF3B
Allegiance: Starfleet
Level: 31+

This is a 2 or 3 part series. Part 1...You are ordered by Starfleet to stop and detain a Ferengi ship that is delivering Romulan Ale to different Romulan astroid colonies set up by the Federation due to the Hobus event. This ale is making many Romulans sick. Your mission is to stop the next delivery....


Look in search & make sure your setup for reviewing in order to find it.

This mission should take about half an hour to play through or a little more. Didn't want to make too long since it's my first one.
I 2 starred it. The premise is interesting and you have a good grasp on how to work with the foundry. You need more spelling and grammar help than I can give in a review thou!

Here are the nitpicks:

A Day for the Assasin / 2 stars

Mission granting text: Poor grammar! we help establish should be helped establish.

Destination not listed in mission tracker = bad.

BO popup on entering the system. Bad sentence structure and were is not the same as we're.

Rom popup: hear isn't the same thing as here. schedule should be scheduled. Their is not the same as there.

OK, I'm going to have to stop correcting spelling and grammar in this review or it will take too long to finish the mission, sorry.

Everyone in the holding cell area is named "UGC Contact". Give them generic names instead of just the asset label.

The spelling and grammar in this mission is very bad.

Not sure why you beamed us to a ready room just to get a couple of popups? You could have returned to the normal space mode and given us the same popups without the ready room.

Getting back to the colony is a long drawn out pain because you put in the nebula interference effect, which disables full impulse.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 294
05-27-2011, 01:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by boglejam View Post
I 2 starred it. The premise is interesting and you have a good grasp on how to work with the foundry. You need more spelling and grammar help than I can give in a review thou!

Here are the nitpicks:

A Day for the Assasin / 2 stars

Mission granting text: Poor grammar! we help establish should be helped establish.

Destination not listed in mission tracker = bad.

BO popup on entering the system. Bad sentence structure and were is not the same as we're.

Rom popup: hear isn't the same thing as here. schedule should be scheduled. Their is not the same as there.

OK, I'm going to have to stop correcting spelling and grammar in this review or it will take too long to finish the mission, sorry.

Everyone in the holding cell area is named "UGC Contact". Give them generic names instead of just the asset label.

The spelling and grammar in this mission is very bad.

Not sure why you beamed us to a ready room just to get a couple of popups? You could have returned to the normal space mode and given us the same popups without the ready room.

Getting back to the colony is a long drawn out pain because you put in the nebula interference effect, which disables full impulse.
Thanks for the review. I will make the changes asap
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 295
05-27-2011, 02:19 PM
This sounds good I need super picky reviews as i'm super picky about my missions I have 5 right now the first one i made was "Old Past, New Future" the next 4 are part of a series starting with "Renmara's Game" then "Running the Gauntlet" , "The Chase", and finally part 4 is "Are We Done Yet?" I look forward to your reviews!
@handle is, @antman9173
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 296
05-27-2011, 03:16 PM
Antman - I'll add one of those to the to-do list but I only review one per author. Then the author can request the next review. Keeps me from stacking up on one guys 8 mission story arc and gives the authors a chance to fix anything before I get to their next mission.

On a side note - whenever I see someone new has posted in this thread, I get a little nervous before I come and look at the entry. There have been a couple of weird posts in here this last week. Thankfully, yours wasn't one of them.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 297
05-27-2011, 06:15 PM
np start with "old past, new future" thats been up the longest.. ill request my story series one by one as u review...
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 298
05-28-2011, 01:21 AM
Happy for you to give mine a shot mate:

TITLE : Alpha Shock
AUTHOR : P90James
CODE : ST-HRT4YPETV
LOCATION : Sibiran System, Gamma Orionis

Cheers
James
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 299
05-28-2011, 08:49 AM
At one point I was down to 4 left! Argh.

Day of Doom Part 1 / Pinecone3
Spawn of Medusa / Duke-of-Rock
Two Cloaks, One Dagger / RogueEnterprise
Descent Into Madness / FutureCaptain
Plato's Requiem / Raptorwalker
Franklin Drake Must Die / syberghost
Old Past, New Future / antman9173
Alpha Shock / P90James
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 300
05-28-2011, 08:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by boglejam View Post
At one point I was down to 4 left! Argh.

Day of Doom Part 1 / Pinecone3
Spawn of Medusa / Duke-of-Rock
Two Cloaks, One Dagger / RogueEnterprise
Descent Into Madness / FutureCaptain
Plato's Requiem / Raptorwalker
Franklin Drake Must Die / syberghost
Old Past, New Future / antman9173
Alpha Shock / P90James
Keep going dude. Your doing great.
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