I tried playing through this mission this evening. Unfortunately I could not complete it, but that wasn't because of any flaw in your mission - there's been a ton of server lag tonight and I got disconnected during Map 2. Then when I logged back in and tried to resume the mission, it put me back on Map 1 with no objectives and no way to skip to Map 2, so my only recourse was to abort the mission.
However, while I was playing I did take notes. Here are my comments on the first two maps, which may or may not also be applicable to the later maps:
"Miranda" is misspelled "Mirada." (I noticed several misspellings throughout the dialogue, but I will just point out the most visible ones here.)
"Deserter" is misspelled "Desserter" (as in "Dominion Desserter"). "Dessert" is what you eat after dinner. "Desert" is what you do when you go AWOL.
Several interactable objects on this map (the second door, the TOS-era console next to Nelos's cell, the wall console that triggers Jonian reinforcements) have only "Interact" as their button text. You should be able to edit the text to make it more descriptive.
Syvek says she's with the Romulan Republic, but wears a Tal Shiar uniform. Instead of a Romulan contact NPC, you could use a Romulan Republic Captain-level mob, move its "boss" (the lowest-numbered actor in that mob, as shown in the editor) inside the cell and rename that actor "Commander Syvek", and hide the other actors where they will not be seen (behind the cell, perhaps). Then use an invisible object to trigger a map dialog object for Syvek's dialogue, instead of using the default contact dialog. (You may still have to improvise on Syvek's costume in the dialog, as Romulan Republic NPC costumes are still not available for contacts, but this way at least the Syvek character on the map will be wearing the proper uniform.)
In your conversation with the admiral, "Jonian" should be plural ("Jonians").
Some of the Jonians triggered by the wall console are getting stuck in the ceiling.
Last edited by paxfederatica; 02-28-2014 at 03:34 PM.