Hello Everyone, just completed my Director's cut of Storm and Glory. Added new scenes and fixed the spelling and grammar issues. Please give it a shot. Author name is RageLionheart. Mission Title is Storm and Glory. The bottom line
A planet in the Veyga System is debating on joining the Federation. This planet is a key strategic area that could tip the balance of the Federation-Klingon War. You must not let this planet fall into the hands of the Klingons or something much more powerful.
My @Handle: Drazur_Southclaw
Level Requirement: Captain (31+)
Mission Summary: You have been ordered to investigate a bizarre message which Starfleet HQ has received. While the message itself was untraceable, it included a set of coordinates that point towards the Kei system. The message reads as follows:
You are cordially invited to experience Ultopia - the perfect society - a place where crime is considered an academic curiousity. A place where evil does not exist. A place where death itself is unheard of.
"Welcome to Ultopia - the very essence of Perfection Itself."
Summary: This is a good, short mission with some nicely balanced, glorious battles and well written dialogue. The way you put together the story was just enough to drive the combat portion forward without being intrusive. On your Federation mission I reviewed earlier this is what I meant by finding the balance between too short and too long for a combat oriented mission. I would recommend this mission to all players who like short, battle oriented missions. You will definitely enjoy this mission.
A quick note about the “Authors Note” you have in the grant dialogue. First of all the mission is as good if not better than some other Klingon missions I’ve played. Second, the note itself tells the player they shouldn’t bother to play because you do not know how to create a Klingon mission which is entirely not true. Sure some of the dialogue might need a little tweaking here and there to make it a little more Klingon oriented but it is still good. In short, don’t discount your skills as an author; you just need a little more confidence in your skills. Read the dialogue out loud and see if it sounds like something Worf would say.
Authors Note: Removed
Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.
Mission Description: This description needs a little more to draw the player in and make them want to click that "Hail" button. Added More
Grant Mission Dialogue: The "Incoming hail" is a nice way to get the player to click the "Accept" button; however most players will not without a little more story indicating what they are about to get into. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider removing the "Authors Note" as it is self defeating. With a note like that you are basically telling the player not to play your mission.
-The follow on dialogue needs a little more story to it and the response button should be something other than "Continue", perhaps "For the Empire" or something along those lines. Changed
Mission Task: Mission Task: This is a good initial task but consider adding the sector block to the task to help the player find your start location. Changed
Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.
Alhena System: This is a good map design with balanced battles and nice short dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Post “defeat True Way Reinforcements” dialogue; consider changing "The have cloaked" to read "They have cloaked". Changed
Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
This critique report also filed 06/09/2012 on forum posting for: A list of Q400 Mission.
Full and fair mission critques available upon request just go to my forum post "In depth mission reports upon request" and give me your mission information.
Greetings! I have just published my first Foundry mission and thought it would be a good idea to post it here to hopefully get the word out. Below is the information related to the mission! Thank again for your support.
Mission Name: Joshua
Mission Author: @nicholas.nefarious
Mission Summary: In this dialogue-heavy mission you've been ordered to a secret Starfleet facility to help bring about the end of the Federation-Klingon War. There is very little ground or space fighting in this first of three missions.
For Every Action-Part II has been published, As the title suggests, it is the continuation of a story from the original For Every Action. It will be a 3 parter, with Part III coming soon.
This mission is on the Fed side and will not make a whole lot of sense if played without having done the 1st. These are both short missions, roughly 30 minutes each. Part 2 contains a lot of Space Combat. For a description of the original mission, see earlier in this thread.
It was my goal to make a short multi-episode mission series that can be played to satisfy the daily, yet still be interesting. Thanks
Just published my first mission (Fed, 31+). It's called "Regenesis" and it kind of riffs on some of the themes in the second and third films (as well as a couple of the cornier moments.) There's also some sly references to other genres in there you might catch if you have an eye for it.
I also failed to notice another user previously published a mission of the same name until just the other day. So play that one too!