Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 11
10-18-2011, 11:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
Thanks for taking the time to review my mission, and thanks especially for catching that mistake with the Cardassian shown instead of Ujarka. I went ahead and republished to fix that mistake.
Glad I could help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
I actually tend to agree with you about listing what the mission is about before the details. In most cases, it makes more sense to "sell" the mission first, while you have someone's attention. However, in this case my goal was more to scare off anyone who didn't want a long mission right off the bat. And, really, if someone doesn't have the patience to read a paragraph about my mission, it's going to be a disaster for them if they play it.
I defeinately see your point, and I agree it can be good too depending on the mission.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
Just touching on a couple of your other points. I don't think there's any way for me to change the name of the "Objects". With contacts I know you can change the name, but the objects are all interacts and unless I'm totally missing something, I don't know of any way to change them. Due to the dynamics of the mission, it's not possible to use contacts for any of the freighters because if I do, I can't hide them afterwards.
You are absolutely right about the objects. Right after I read your reply I went in and tried it. I never noticed that before. That must be a limitation of the Foundry. You can change NPC contacts and even the groups but not objects. You can make objects disappear but not NPC contacts. That is weird. Thanks for catching me on that as now I'll omit that as a hit on other reports.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
About the Tat-Kwerg dialogue. That happens because the Objective Complete trigger is broken with dialogues. I wanted her ship to appear and then for them to have that discussion, but I couldn't do that if the dialogue was in the storyline. So, as a work around, I have it so that the dialogue triggers off a reach marker after you start to set an intercept course. I suppose even overhearing the conversation at all might also be a bit contrived, but I'm going to claim artistic license on that.
Yours to claim. That is another limitation of the Foundry I'll keep in mind as I review others work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
And during the finale you said the distress signal remained? The reason that is, is because I wanted to make it so that if someone tried to go it alone (or with too few support vessels) and then found out they'd made a mistake, they could still summon help after the fact. Ideally I'd have a separate interact to summon help, but I hit the enemy group limit on the map, so my hands are basically tied.
No problem it really does detract from the mission as a whole anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
Regarding the Captain responses, I'll take that to heart and consider how I might integrate it into the mission, and/or future missions. My only reservation is I'd like to avoid putting too many words in someone's mouth (that's why I like providing the multiple responses, it allows the player to choose what he feels fits his captain the best). However, if they are generic enough responses they'll probably be fine.
I totally understand that and if I didn't say it in my report I loved the various responses that also led to different outcomes. That is a skill when dealing with linear story lines.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
Considering the insane amount of dialogue in the mission, I probably won't be going back to make any major changes until the sequel is completed, at the minimum. Also, I sort of dread having to republish because whenever I do, I have to go and reset all of the map dialogues because of the damn Foundry bug that breaks them every time I load the mission. It takes me at least an hour or just rechecking in order to republish because I can't afford to have the dialogues broken or it renders the mission unplayable at some points.
I was not aware of a bug like the one you describe. I have gone back and republished after making changes to dialog and haven't seen that bug. That is odd but I'll keep an eye out for that when I publish or republish missions from now on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
Anyway, thanks again. I'm glad you enjoyed the mission, and I am going to take your feedback into account.
Thanks and it was pleasure to play. I'm not kidding when I say I sat down and played it without a break. By the time I was done it was 9:15 pm here and I hadn't eaten but didn't mind.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 12
10-18-2011, 11:29 PM
I'd imagine you're going to be getting a lot of these requests, so I'd better get mine in early. The first mission for which I'm requesting a review is actually one you've already played. It was my first published Foundry mission titled Deadly Intentions, and your feedback in the review comments was very helpful. I'd love to get a more detailed review and pick your brain for suggestions. I've also published the second episode in the series arc, and I'm halfway through the final episode. Here is the information for my two missions:


Mission Name: Deadly Intentions - Part 1
Author: Sovereign77x
Minimum Level: None
Allegiance: Starfleet
Mission ID: ST-HENIFDVMI
Estimated Length: 30 Minutes
Method of Delivery: Forum


Mission Name: Deadly Intentions - Part 2
Author: Sovereign77x
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Mission ID: ST-HG3P4W905
Estimated Length: 45 Minutes
Method of Delivery: Forum


I am truly grateful for your willingness to spend some time reviewing my work. I imagine other Foundry authors will feel the same way; this thread could easily get a sticky. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 13
10-18-2011, 11:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
I will provide you with reports on each of your missions separately starting with "Spawn of Medusa" this evening and I’ll get the report up as soon as possible. I will also try to get to the rest this evening as well if time permits. If not I'll do those missions over the next couple of nights.
Sorry I went really late on another mission I was reviewing. I won't be able to get to "Spawn of Medusa" tonight, but it is first on my list tomorrow.

Thanks
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 14
10-18-2011, 11:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sovereign77x View Post
I'd imagine you're going to be getting a lot of these requests, so I'd better get mine in early.
Thanks for submitting your missions to me for review. I will try to get to your missions in the next few days if not by the weekend. There are only four missions ahead of yours and I am trying to do them in the order received. I will post here when your are up next.

Thanks again
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 15
10-19-2011, 03:32 AM
Thanks a lot for your mission report! Just what I needed. I'll make some necessary correction as soon as I can.
Thanks again! This really helped.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
Spawn of Medusa
"A new enemy, an unlikely ally, and a quadrant in peril."
* Spawn of Medusa
* Duke-of-Rock
* Any Level
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Seedea System - Pi Canis Sector Block
* Easy Trek Trivia Puzzles in unlikely locations. (For newer players)
* Space and Ground Battles
Federation Mission - Spawn of Medusa
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HCQTJBEGJ

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: You did an amazing job of writing and map design. Your dialog drew me into the mission and held my attention throughout. The maps you designed were quite simply excellent. They blended with the story dialog to make you want to know and see more.

I noted a few map issues below in the catacombs and imperial chamber. I suspect the issues with away team members getting stuck here and there is a map pathing issue within the Foundry for those particular base maps you used and not something you can control. Fortunately none of the away team was really needed beyond a certain point for fighting.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you please.

Mission Description: Very well written and the notes are helpful. Perhaps change the notes to the [OOC] to distinguish them from the regular mission description.

Grant Mission Dialog: Straight forward dialog with clear directions on where to go to begin.

Mission Task: Very clear and concise tasking.

Mission Entry Prompt: Good dialog, perhaps change the button to something in response to the announcement of the arrival at the Seedea system.

MAPS:
Seedea System: The map was excellent and the dialog drove the story quite well. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Admiral Fedrikson dialog: "to this situation" should be "in this situation".
-You were not kidding when you said it would be easy even if you haven’t played the other mission. Well done, I laughed out loud.
-Third question; "and helped you crew" should read "and helped your crew".

Medusik System: Great map design and the dialog perfect. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors.

I.K.S. Bleeding Sun: The map design for this was excellent and the dialog was very well written and drove the story. I really liked the simple questions to initiate the halon system. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Klingon Engineer dialog: "help stabilize to warp core" should read "help stabilize the warp core".
-"disabled by the console" should read "disabled at the console"
-Halon System Code dialog prior to the second question; "Then next correct" should be "The next correct".
-Post stabilization of the warp core, assist the doctor dialog; perhaps change the button from “Continue” to “Acknowledged” or something along those lines.
-Not an issue just a suggestion: If it makes sense, since we are in engineering you might be able to replace the injured engineer outside with her standing near the outer console or something and saying “thanks” or something like that.
Warning of approaching ships dialog; suggest changing the "Continue" button to "Acknowledged" or something along those lines.

Medusik System Battle: This map was very well designed and the battle was fantastic. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Post battle beam down dialog; "That is the last" should be "That was the last".
-Consider changing "We are however, picking up a lone Klingon female appearing to be injured in the forest away from the colony" to read "We are however, picking up a lone Klingon female in the forest away from the colony. She appears to be injured."
-"learn of" should read "learn about"

Medusik Prime: This is a great map with the setup of the colony and the battles along with the dialog. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Ruin entry question dialog; "There is the question" should read "There is a question".
-Second Question dialog; "What class ship" should read "What class of ship".

Ancient Medusik Catacombs: The overall story dialog and map design was very good. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map. You may have already received this from other players but the mini map and regular map do not show any features other than my crew, bad guys, information NPC’s and task circles. There is also a bug of some kind that appears to take two of my away team and place them in the rock covering the device in the third chamber. I don’t think this is anything that you can control. It must be a bug in this particular maps pathing.

Medusik Imperial Chamber: The map here is a very impressive one despite the issues with pathing. You obviously spent a great deal of time designing this particular map. The steam to obscure the two Klingon officers while they appear outside of the cages was well done. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-One of my Bridge Officers materialized inside one of the generators next to the spawn point. Again I think this is a map pathing issue.
-Post Tactical Vessel console dialog; Consider changing "The only information we need now is to know how many Klingon vessels were captured." to read "The only information we need to know now, is how many Klingon vessels were captured."
-Captain T'Kowr dialog; "that survived was incapable" should read "that survived were incapable".
-Medusa Frow dialog; "had the weapon technology" should read "had the weapons technology".
-Suggested response button to her last taunt; “We shall see.”
-Suggested response button to the pattern enhancer suggestion; “Excellent idea.”

Medusik System Escape: Great battle and dialog setup. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map.

Seedea System#2: This was an excellent conclusion to this mission. Your dialog was very well written. I noted the following item to consider changing:
-Captain T'Kowr dialog: Consider changing "I trust in their ability to express my concerns about the Medusik." to read "I trust my concerns about the Medusik will be appropriately expressed.”

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. I will evaluate the remaining three missions over the next couple of nights and hopefully wrap up the series by Friday night. I am looking forward to playing the rest of the series to see where this goes. You’ve got me hooked.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
Spawn of Medusa II - (Part II - Daughters of Medusa)
Part II is a strong story driven sequel to Spawn of Medusa. Learn more about the history of this new enemy to the alpha quadrant and beyond. Learn the truth of the Klingon link to the Medusik past.
* Spawn of Medusa II
* Duke-of-Rock
* Level: 16+
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Wall Console Outside Main Transporter Room on Earth Space Dock (ESD).
* Medium Level Code-Driven Puzzles
* Space-Driven Battle
* Strong Storyline
* Unique Mission Within a Mission Objectives

Federation Mission - Spawn of Medusa II
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
ST- HNNHIVXZD

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This was an outstanding sequel to the first mission. The story drove and I was happily along for the ride. You use of dialog and puzzles to solve was excellent. The map setup and design was also excellent. They were so well put together I noted only a few items that have recommendations for. This whole mission is a worthy follow on to your previous mission.

Below are a few items I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you please.

Mission Description: Good write up for the mission.

Grant Mission Dialog: Your mission description had the location where to start but you should add it to the Grant Mission Dialog to ensure the player knows where to go.

Mission Task: For at least the initial start custom map this should also have the location of where to start the mission.

Mission Entry Prompt: Nice simple prompt. Consider changing the entry point to one of the doors on ESD.

MAPS:
Starfleet Conference Auditorium: Great map design and the story dialog is well written. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Perhaps consider having the player enter from the door where the head of security is already standing. He can then challenge the player and skip the other security officer who doesn't appear to be needed for the story.
-Mok'Ta dialog; "as well as the preserving" should read "as well as preserving"
-Federation President dialog; He refers to my rank and first name.

Sol System: Good map design.

Pentax System: The map design looks great and the dialog drove the story. I noted the following item to consider changing:
-Post system scan dialog; consider changing "field of debris" to read "debris field"

U.S.S. Crazy Horse Bridge: This map had great dialog and a good investigation style part of the mission. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-The first officer is sitting way forward on the chair and his right arm is through the chair console.
-First Officer dialog; consider changing "is in a medical bay" to read "is in sickbay"
-Consider changing "Commander Gax will know the order of the repairs if they are to be done successfully." to read "Commander Gax will know what repairs need to be done."
-Consider changing "Our main Medical Bay was destroyed by the attack" to read "Our main sickbay was destroyed in the attack".

Shuttle Deck: This is a well designed map with good dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors and only have one recommendation to add:
-When I read some of the reviews before playing the mission I noted one person said they lowered your marks because there weren’t enough fires, smoke, plasma leaks and dead bodies to make it look as if they had been in a fierce battle. With that in mind I think you should add a few more bodies and maybe some more smoke and flames. Of course I also realize that the more effects you add the more intense the CPU usage of the player. So it is up to you.

Engineering Deck: This map is excellent and I thought the medical bay was particularly well done. The dialog was well written and drove the story. I noted the following items to consider changing:
-Bridge Tactical Officer dialog; consider changing "to the shuttle pilot" to read "with the shuttle pilot".
-Post dilithium leak dialog; consider changing "full Warp core Breach" to read "full warp core breach".

Pentax III: The map design was outstanding and I liked the effects. Excellent story dialog as well. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map and had only the one issue:
-A couple of my crew got stuck in some of the ruins as we maneuvered to avoid the animals. Otherwise a great map.

Pentax System#2: This map was well put together and the battle was good. The dialog was great and drove the story to a good end point for this part of the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This mission was very well done and I look forward to the next two missions.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 18
10-21-2011, 04:29 PM
I have just finished the final episode in my Deadly Intentions mission series, and would like to place it in the queue for review. Here is the information on the mission:

Mission Name: Deadly Intentions - Part 3
Author: Sovereign77x
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Starfleet
Mission ID: ST-HTEOX3GQ3
Estimated Length: 35 Minutes
Method of Delivery: Forum

Thanks again for your willingness to do these reviews...I'm eager to hear what you have to say!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
Spawn of Medusa III - ( Part 3 - Break from Tradition )
With the Klingons losing ground to the Medusas and Medusa Hajora gaining ground in the outer edges of the Federation, Join Admiral Fedrikson on Sierra Outpost II and try to gain allies from a delegation of Federation enemies. The time to act is now or all may soon be lost.
* Spawn of Medusa III
* Duke-of-Rock
* Level: 16+
* Federation
* Mission time: Approx. 1 hour
* Starting Location: Sierra Outpost System - Alpha Centauri Sector Block
* Space and Ground Battles
* Prime Numbers Puzzle
* Dialogue Rich Storyline.
Federation Mission - Spawn of Medusa III
Author: Duke-of-Rock
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HLBOH384O

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This mission is another fantastic episode in the Spawn of Medusa series. The writing was great and the map design was perfect. The fights are a little more challenging than the previous missions, however they were well designed and executed flawlessly. I found only one item for you to consider changing throughout all the mission maps.

You've done a great job on the entire series up through this mission. I look forward to playing Spawn of Medusa IV shortly. Great series and I highly recommend it to everyone.

Mission Description: Good write up for this mission.

Grant Mission Dialog: Good grant dialog with a clearly defined location for the mission to start.

Mission Task: Good use of the mission location in the tasking.

Mission Entry Prompt: Good initial dialog prompt.

MAPS:
Sierra Outpost II System: Excellent map and story dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Sierra Outpost Conference: Great map and story dialog. The fighting was a fun. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Sierra Outpost II System: Good map design and story dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Restus System: The map is well designed and the story dialog is well written. I loved the fights. They are quite a challenge. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Restus II: This is a really well done map and the fighting and dialog was great. I noted the following item to consider changing:
-Romulan Ambassador post fight dialog; "including you assistance." should read "including your assistance."

Julip System: Great map and story dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Julip Science Station: Good map and great dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Julip Prime: Excellent map design. I like the ruins rising from the water sequence. The dialog and puzzle were very well put together. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

Julip Science Station: Great mission wrap up dialog. The map was good and the mission wrap up dialog was outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors on this map or issues with any of the features of the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. I really did enjoy this mission. Great work!
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 20
10-22-2011, 09:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patarival View Post
Thanks a lot for your mission report! Just what I needed. I'll make some necessary correction as soon as I can.
Thanks again! This really helped.
I am happy to help. Thank you for the chance to review your work.
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