Okay, thanks for the heads up to "Kirkfat". I'll take a look for them and see if I can narrow the search for them when I eval the mission.

Brian

Pendra, this is unavoidable with the limitations of the foundry. I had to give the players a choice of enemies, but I couldn't do that without making the actual mission objective present on the map. Reach markers cannot be spawned, despite the options.

I had no choice but to try to hide a reach marker behind cages and then distract the player from reaching those cages. It was the only possible way to give the illusion of choice.

If you can think of a workaround, I'm all ears. It was a battle with the foundry to get it to work at all.

Federation Mission - Helna of Troy
Author: Kirkfat
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HUDZ7MXOS

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is an outstanding mission. The map design was excellent throughout. The story dialog is great and drives the story forward. The battles were very well done. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who loves a great story combined with excellent maps and some good battles. Everyone should be aware that there is a lot of dialog but it is really worth it to read the story. You should consider adding a “Skip Dialog” button in some of the longer parts with a summary of what they need to know to continue.

I noted no spelling or grammatical errors despite the numerous “Continues”. The use of the response button “Continue” is only noted for a couple of reasons. The first, I think some response could’ve served to make the player feel more a part of the dialog rather than just reading it. The second is because I find the “Continue” mildly distracting, of course this is a personal pet peeve. I try to avoid them as well by using “…” or something like that instead. In the end it is up to you what you do, if anything, about that.

I also saw what Pendra80 noted as quoted below;

I believe this is exactly as you intended based on the mythos behind the story.

Below a couple of items I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a nice short to the point description. Consider adding a little more story to it to draw in the player and make them want to click "Hail". Of course with 67+ reviews trending towards a 4 star average it is definitely a recommendation. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialog: This is a good dialog. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider moving all but the first sentence to a separate dialog from Admiral Lovejoy. You would need to change it a little so it appeared to be coming from the Admiral but that might serve to draw the player into your story a little more.

Mission Task: This is a good use of the initial mission task giving a clear location for the start of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Minos Prime: This is a good map design. The dialog is outstanding. The side quest is a nice little diversion. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue” is not out of place where you used it on this map however consider coming up with an alternative.

Donatara V: This is a good map design with a good battle to break up the story. The story dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map.

Zeus’ Treasure: This is an excellent map design. The story dialog is good and the puzzle was interesting. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue” is not out of place where you used it on this map however consider coming up with an alternative.
-Consider adding a “Skip Puzzle” button for those who are just interested in the story itself. It wouldn’t have to provide the answer it just by passes the puzzle.

Hera’s Arena: This map design is outstanding. The story dialog is excellent. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue” is not out of place where you used it on this map however consider coming up with an alternative.

Donatara V (Again): This is a great map design with a good battle. The story dialog is outstanding. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
The use of the response button “Continue” is not out of place where you used it on this map however consider coming up with an alternative.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Your work on this mission shows a great deal of effort from the dialog through the map design. You should consider creating a forum posting to advertise this mission more. I really enjoyed playing the mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

@Kirkfat
Easy, you have 2 blocking objects.
Path 1 should move the left object more to the left and leave the right in place.
Path 2 should move the right object more to the right and leave the left in place.
So you have 2 paths with the same result: a corridor to move through in the center.

@Evil70th
I don't know if you already started the review of my mission(s), but I added a few more optional branches to Adventure Edition's the debriefing scene.
Again, thank you for your time!

This makes no sense in the context that I'm using it, so I don't understand.

Thanks for the review request. I'll take a look at these hopefully this morning and post the reviews shortly after.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian

Try this mission: KFExample, it starts at Wolf 359. Same but simplified scenario for practical purposes. You can choose between 2 paths but both lead to the same solution.

Federation Mission - Demon Planet Adventure Edition
Author: Pendra80
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HEGHOJ8WQ

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is an interesting mission. The use of objects to complete mission tasks is very well done. The colony buildings and cave design are good and are great usage of map space. I gave it 4 stars because of the story, use of the objects, usage of map space, the colony building and cave design. The "Debrief" portion needs to be fixed. The "Debrief" doesn’t seem to take into account that after the "Cave" there is no other choice but to "Debrief". Obviously due to the linear nature of the story in the Foundry you can only have the one outcome with the Admirals debriefing.

On the "Castor III" map the location of the "Beam up" trigger that makes the "Debrief" appears should be moved. If you trigger it when standing on top of the rocks you get stuck in the roof and can’t move. If you leave the map after the "Debrief" trigger and come back you cannot renter the "Debrief" area. I had to drop the mission and retake it to complete it. The second time I stood slightly to the side of the top and was just low enough I didn’t get stuck. The rock remains in the middle of the passageway of what I assume is supposed to be the players ship.

I mention "hard returns" below. This is aimed at sentences you appear to have moved to a different line but did not add a blank line in between. I mention this because it appeared to be a random occurrence. There are some dialog panels where there are blank lines separating sentences and others where there are not. It isn’t a show stopper but it struck me as odd and I thought I’d point it out.

The use of the response button "Continue" is quite prevalent in your "Castor III" map. There is some dialog where this will work and more that it doesn’t seem to fit, particularly when the "Player" is receiving reports from their BOFF’s. It can be difficult finding the appropriate response to go in there but to me it helps make the player feel like they are part of the story rather than just reading dialog.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the "Authors" notes to [OOC] text so they stand out from the general description.

Grant Mission Dialog: This is a good dialog but not very intriguing. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog. I noted one item to consider changing:
- Consider adding another hard return between the [MissionInfo] and "You will join" sentences so they are apart.

Mission Task: This is a good use of the task as you provide the starting system for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding the sector block of the system.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding another hard return between separated sentences.

MAPS:
High orbit over Castor III: This is a good map design. The battle is nicely done. The story dialog is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialog or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Admiral Trent's message; consider changing "The [ShipName] is ordered to orbit the Castor III" to read "The [ShipName] is ordered to orbit Castor III".
-Consider adding another hard return between separated sentences.

Castor III: This is a good map design and your use of objects for mission tasks is very well done. The story dialog is good. Without giving too much away the colony buildings and cave design are very nicely done. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-I'm confused by the initial dialog "Over our usual equipment we collected the following items". It doesn't seem to do anything for the story.
-The use of the response button "Continue". For example the assisting Brother Chen request. Consider changing "Continue" to read "We’ll see what we can do" or something along those lines.
-Consider adding another hard return between separated sentences.
-The post "Brother Chen" scan dialog; the Science BOFF refers to me by my [ShortName] which seems unlikely. Consider changing this to [Rank] or Captain.
-The post "Collect Berries" scan dialog; the Science BOFF refers to me by my [ShortName] which seems unlikely. Consider changing this to [Rank] or Captain. I suspect this is going to occur more often so I will no longer note it but cover it in the summary.
-The post "Apply Trytoxine" dialog; consider changing "Without warning...," to read "Without warning..."
-The dialog; "You thread close to unholy knowledge, brother Steven" did you mean "tread"?
-The post Reman encounter; I noted that the Bridge Science BOFF became my Away Team Science BOFF in the second dialog panel.
-The dialog; "It was a near thing, but he will live" doesn't make any sense. Consider changing it to "It was a close call, but he will live".
-BIG SHOW STOPPER: If the player is on top of the rock when they initiate the beam up they get stuck in the roof of the "Debrief" location.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. Again, good work with the usage of map space. After you adjust the "Debriefing" design it will be a great mission.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/20/2012 on forum posting for: Demon Planet - a homage to classic adventure games.

Thanks very much for this review. I really appreciate the feedback.

Glad I could help. I really enjoyed the mission.

Thanks for authoring.
Brian