Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 521
04-20-2012, 01:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gingie
You helped me a lot with my inaugural mission, now I'd like to hear what you think of my second.

Title: Alexandria Incident
ID: ST-HA3MMWO
Faction: Fed
Min Level: 31
Start Location: P'Jem
Duration: ~30min

The Alexandria Museum complex is debuting its inaugural exhibit, a fleet of restored starships from the Starfleet’s history featuring Starships from the beginning of Starfleet’s exploration missions in the late 2200s to the early 2400s.

You have been asked to attend the ribbon cutting ceremony. But first the staff is offering you an all access tour of the ships. Relax and enjoy yourself, what could possibly go wrong?

I originally created this mission as a nostalgia project but with the lack of any TOS interiors I re-purposed it for the Starbase UGC Jem'Hadar ship contest.
Thanks for the review request Gingie. You are now 8th in the queue behind sbcouto. Work is done, and I don’t have school tonight so I have time to catch up on the queue this weekend.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 522
04-20-2012, 01:59 PM
My second mission is also available. It's called "Facets 2- Question of Faith" and it is a sequel to "Facets 1- A Brief Diversion" which you reviewed for me last month.

Title: Facets 2- Question of Faith
ID: ST-H08WP2KUX
Faction: Fed
Min Level: any
Start Location: Chulan
Duration: ~ an hour
Thanks again for your feedback on part 1. Before I start working on Part 3 I'm going to go ahead and implement those changes to part 1.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120


Volume Three of "Star Trek Online Mission Reviews - Case Studies" from Evil70th is now available for download. This is a special KLINGON-ONLY case study report!

As Evil70th states, "It never hurts to have another set of eyes look at your work." With a focus on best practices, recognizing mission design excellence, and making helpful recommendations, his evaluation reports have been requested by numerous Foundry authors. Each overview is an excellent opportunity for new and veteran STO Foundry devs to see how others crafted their missions -- and where edits, fixes and improvements can be made.

This volume of case studies is available for free. (It is published under a Creative Commons License and does not violate STO Terms of Use.)

Volume 003 (611 KB; PDF format)

via FileFactory: http://bit.ly/Jc4n5l
via MediaFire: http://bit.ly/IcWtFT
via Uploadingit.com: http://bit.ly/IEUXLe

For more information on Evil70th's reviews, including reviews cited in this volume, visit: http://forums.startrekonline.com/sho...d.php?t=236755 (this thread!)
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 524
04-20-2012, 02:45 PM
Announcement:
If you have been featured in Evil70th's Foundry mission evaluations, please contact me via in-game mail (Tucana). I need your permission if you want your reviews featured in future case study reports.

(All case study reports are done with the blessing of Evil70th. All reviews are published with the express permission of each reviewed Foundry author, too.)

Case study volumes will continue to be published as time permits -- and depending on whether the # of downloads/interest justifies the work.

Thanks,
Tucana
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 525
04-20-2012, 03:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tosmonkey
My second mission is also available. It's called "Facets 2- Question of Faith" and it is a sequel to "Facets 1- A Brief Diversion" which you reviewed for me last month.

Title: Facets 2- Question of Faith
ID: ST-H08WP2KUX
Faction: Fed
Min Level: any
Start Location: Chulan
Duration: ~ an hour
Thanks again for your feedback on part 1. Before I start working on Part 3 I'm going to go ahead and implement those changes to part 1.
Thanks for the review request tosmonkey. You are 9th in the queue behind Gingie. I’ll be starting on the queue here shortly.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 526
04-20-2012, 03:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tucana
Announcement:
If you have been featured in Evil70th's Foundry mission evaluations, please contact me via in-game mail (Tucana). I need your permission if you want your reviews featured in future case study reports.

(All case study reports are done with the blessing of Evil70th. All reviews are published with the express permission of each reviewed Foundry author, too.)

Case study volumes will continue to be published as time permits -- and depending on whether the # of downloads/interest justifies the work.

Thanks,
Tucana
Thanks Tucana.

Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 527
04-20-2012, 03:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tucana
Announcement:
If you have been featured in Evil70th's Foundry mission evaluations, please contact me via in-game mail (Tucana). I need your permission if you want your reviews featured in future case study reports.

(All case study reports are done with the blessing of Evil70th. All reviews are published with the express permission of each reviewed Foundry author, too.)

Case study volumes will continue to be published as time permits -- and depending on whether the # of downloads/interest justifies the work.

Thanks,
Tucana
I'm one of the authors and sure it's okay.
That mission I put up is no longer on however because of low reviews based on the away team not follwing you. Maybe one day when the Foundry fixes that problem I'll do another similar one- though better hopefully with new stuff coming into the foundry.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 528
04-20-2012, 04:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tucana
Announcement:
If you have been featured in Evil70th's Foundry mission evaluations, please contact me via in-game mail (Tucana). I need your permission if you want your reviews featured in future case study reports.

(All case study reports are done with the blessing of Evil70th. All reviews are published with the express permission of each reviewed Foundry author, too.)

Case study volumes will continue to be published as time permits -- and depending on whether the # of downloads/interest justifies the work.

Thanks,
Tucana
Hi,

I'm a reviewed Foundry Author. You have my permission to feature my review :-)
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 529
04-20-2012, 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by G0tchas View Post
Hi,
I'm a reviewed Foundry Author. You have my permission to feature my review :-)
Just a friendly reminder before this thread gets derailed...

Per the original post:
"please contact me via in-game mail (Tucana)."

Please do not contact me directly via this forum thread. Just send me an in-game mail message. Thanks, everyone!

Tucana
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by G0tchas View Post
Mission Name: Future's Past - Past 2
Author: G0tchas
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HB2J4VLKL
Federation Mission - Future's Past - Part 2
Author: G0tchas
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HB2J4VLKL

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: Overall this is a good mission with well written dialogue. The map design is well down and there are several very tough battles throughout. I would recommend this mission to other players but not on elite level. They would get slaughtered. You should consider balancing the fighting a little.

There are some story elements that need a little work. For example on the last map there is mention of a “fake signal” coming from a crate. I take screen shots of all the dialogue and most of the action; I couldn’t find any mention of a crate until that point. I was thinking that you had intended to make it an objective on the “Confront Antar Niral” map with the appropriate dialogue to make the player think they had gotten the orb.

Below I mention the “Archeologist team” as an issue in the story. They are mentioned a couple of times but on the “Mining Station” map they had already beamed up to the “Unknown Ship” and no mention of them transferring to the players ship for the trip to Oradhe III is made. Then on the “Returning to Oradhe III” map the “Archeologist team” is beamed down to the planet. This is followed by “Defend the Archeologists” map which implies multiple people. So this is a little distracting from an otherwise good story. I believe your intention was to have Antar as the sole archeologist on the mission, but the dialogue and maps implied otherwiase.

The other issue was the Jem’Hadar ships that kept coming up in the space battles. At first I thought there was supposed to be a link between the True Way and the Jem’Hadar but I saw no dialogue linking them. That is why I mentioned them below as they seemed out of place to the story. Those elements combined with the very tough battles, both space, and ground, made for some very tough fights. Balancing battles in the missions can be difficult as you don’t want to make it too easy but you also do not want to make them too hard, especially without respawn points deeper in the ground maps.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The initial mission tasking is good but consider adding the sector block location as well. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Malon System: This is a nice map design and the dialogue is very well written but not a lot of it. Consider adding some additional dialogue regarding the “Unknown Ship” orbiting near the mining station. As I approached I found myself wondering who the ship belonged to and why were they here. Consider adding a report from the Science BOFF as we approach the station that mentions the “Unknown Ship”. The response from the player could be “Report” or “Try to identify that ship” or something along those lines. This could be followed up by additional information describing the ship and possibly its origin. If you still wish to remain an “Unknown Ship” then you could make it so sensors where unable to penetrate the shields or something along those lines. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mining Station: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider rotating the spawn point to face the down ramp. The direction it is facing currently will lead the player to proceed straight ahead only to find a closed door. The other two doors lead to ramps going to upper levels. So after figuring this out the player must turn around and head back to the spawn point and then head to the lower level. That can be annoying to some players.
-The "Antar Niral" dialogue; consider changing "finished out worr here" to read "finished our work here".

Returning to Oradhe III: This is a good map design with good, balanced battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial dialogue mentions the presence of “True Way ships in orbit” but nothing is visible. Consider adding a small weak group of enemy ships that are not part the actual task but are in the same location as the engage enemy task so there are enemy on the map when the threat from the “Cardassian Captain” is going on. This would add more story dialogue with having to actually add more dialogue.
-The post "2nd Wave" dialogue; has the Tactical BOFF recommending we beam down the "archeology team" but "Antar Niral" was the only person on the station and the only one that was "beamed up". Consider changing the previous map to mention "beaming over" the other members of the team from the "Unknown Ship".
-Consider changing the response button "Antari" to read "Antar" since to this point here has been no mention of an "Antari".
-In the "4th Wave" there was a "Jem'Hadar" ship. Was this intentional?

Defend the Archeologists: This is a good map with very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider placing respawn points further into the map.
-Consider balancing the battles a little more. Make the enemy groups progressively tougher not all tough from the start.
-Consider adding more “Archeologist Team” members other than just “Antar”.

In Orbit of Oradhe III: This map is okay but with the limited dialogue you should consider adding at least one enemy engagement. It could be a “True Way” ship that was sent to delay us from pursuing the ship with “Antar” and his team onboard. There needs to be something more than just three short dialogues.

Follow Antar Niral to the Malon System: This is a nice map design with a couple of tough battles. The story dialogue is good. Consider combining this map and the previous map into one using appearing and disappearing planets and objects with a warp sequence in between.
-The “Engage ships” task; the ships are "Jem'Hadar". Is this intentional?
-The ship which was previously labeled “Unknown Ship” is now labeled “Antar Niral”. Consider giving the ship a name on both maps. Perhaps on the earlier map “Antar” could tell the player about his ship in orbit of the station.

Confront Antar Niral: This map design is okay but needs some work. The enemy engagements were very tough. The story dialogue is good. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding respawn points further into the map especially if the groups are going to be so tough.
-Consider placing all the enemy groups in or around the same level. There was one group all the way on the bottom level.
-Consider balancing the battles a little more. Make the enemy groups progressively tougher. Throw in some weaker groups to balance out the fighting.

Orbiting the mining station: This is a nice map design with several very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written but there are few issues with the story. This map was the first mention of a crate. Is there supposed to be an objective on the station? I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial engagement one of the ships is "Jem'Hadar". Is this intentional?
-The Antar Niral ship is also a "Jem'Hadar" ship.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. This is a nice sequel mission in the series. I am looking forward to evaluating part 3.
Brian
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