Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by XR-377 View Post
Hey, I've got the 6th one for your list, my contest entry for the Current Challenge! As always I appreciate your work and input! "You sir... are my numberone..... *deep-breath-through-teeth*... aaaah'guy."


Mission Name: One Too Many
Author: XR-377
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSYZMF3VC
Estimated Mission Length: 30 - 45 Minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Description:"The daughter of "Reg" Barclay is working on Earth Space Dock tracking down a system's bug in the Station's Network. But, as can be expected, she has a problem one too many..."
Federation Mission - One Too Many
Author: XR-377
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HSYZMF3VC

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with excellent map design, some good battles and outstanding story dialogue. You did a great job with the story as a whole and your attention to detail was outstanding. I would highly recommend this mission to all players. Below is one item to consider changing but as usual it is yours to do with as you see fit. I think this will be the shortest summary I have written so far.

Mission Description: This is a good description once you get past the Foundry Challenge announcement. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue once you get past the Foundry Challenge announcement. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: These are good initial tasks with a clear location for the mission NPC, the console dialogue locations, and the start location of the first custom map. I liked the “Overused Console” in the follow on mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider removing or changing the “On the North Side” in the dialogue. If you chose to change it vice removing it consider “On the North Side of the hall”. The dialogue as it is could be interpreted as a incorrect location. When I first read it I thought you were saying it in the hall to the north.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Holodeck 37: This is a great map design with good battles and outstanding dialogue. It really drew me into the story. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Earth Spacedock (Cryptic Map): The limitations of switching custom maps using Cryptic maps as the bridge is one that is present even in the regular game missions. If you know that and can ignore the prompt when you leave the holodeck your use of it is well done. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Sickbay: Surgery and Recovery: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue that wraps up the mission story nicely. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. I look forward to playing/reviewing more your work in the future.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 772
06-17-2012, 09:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCC-89471 View Post
So unless I missed something, my mission is now 5th in the queue?

[Not that I'm getting impatient or anything. One, it already has more than enough reviews to show up in the mission search engine; I've even played it twice myself. (Same toon, two different ships.) Two, I won't be making any major changes to it until the Season 6 Foundry enhancements go live anyway. So, take your time.]
Actually as of the writing of this response you are now 4th in the queue since I just finished the XR-377 mission One too many. So your mission is getting closer to the top of the review queue.

Thanks for being patient, it is appreciated.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 773
06-17-2012, 10:09 AM
Thanks for the review! Glad that I made the shortest one for you ever! I'm pretty proud that means I caught a lot of the gunk I usually end up leaving in my missions!

I promise I'll make up for this one being super short with my next set I put up for review; which are two 1 to 3 hour long dialog intensive missions I'll be putting up at the same time.

Thanks again for all your hard work!


(Also, I'm curious, with missions like mine that have a lot of optional text; do you minimize each pop up at the last frame of dialog to reset it and go back to review the other options? You always do a thorough job and I am wondering if that's how you do it.)
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 774
06-17-2012, 10:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XR-377 View Post
Thanks for the review! Glad that I made the shortest one for you ever! I'm pretty proud that means I caught a lot of the gunk I usually end up leaving in my missions!

I promise I'll make up for this one being super short with my next set I put up for review; which are two 1 to 3 hour long dialog intensive missions I'll be putting up at the same time.

Thanks again for all your hard work!


(Also, I'm curious, with missions like mine that have a lot of optional text; do you minimize each pop up at the last frame of dialog to reset it and go back to review the other options? You always do a thorough job and I am wondering if that's how you do it.)
I actually meant the review summary I wrote for your mission was the shortest I think I have ever written. Yes I read the dialogue and when I am coming to what I believe is the end of a dialogue tree I minimize and reopen so I can read the other dialogue as well. That is why when an author tells me their mission is a half hour I know I will spend at least an hour depending on the dialogue. Longer if there are a lot of spelling or grammar errors. Of course if there are lot of constant errors I will summarize them on the maps without writing down the entire dialogue.

Glad I could help, and thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyline45 View Post
Hey Evil70th, I've got the second episode in my series ready to add to your que. I understand it will be a while, but your input is still very much appreciated and valued ^.^

Thank you for your time.

Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.2
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HRDEHNDQN
Est. Time: 1hr 20min
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
Method of Report Delivery: Forum
Description:
After reporting in with Fleet Admiral Vincient Skyline, your orders are to investigate a long forgotten planet that the Waveloids hoped would stay buried. While there the mysteries you'll discover will lead to the prospect of all out intergalactic war.
Federation Mission - The Wave Empire Ep.2
Author: Skyline45
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRDEHNDQN

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: I am unable to complete the mission due to the 3rd enemy mob on the "Reliokah's Surface" map. I do not mind a challenge but I was unable to get past that mob and I was on Normal level. I got killed and had to respawn 20 times. You need to balance the enemy mobs on that map or no one will be able to complete the map or the mission. This is a show stopper for this review. I have dropped the mission without rating it. I will reevaluate this mission when you feel you have corrected the issues in this report.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "He requested your immediet pressence at the set of coordiance he gave us" to read "He requested your immediate presence at the set of coordinates he gave us".
-Consider changing "It seems his medical team has confirmed whatever was worrying them" to read "It seems his medical team has found something that has them worried".

Mission Task: The initial mission task should contain the start location of the first custom map.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
Undisclosed Rondevue Point: This is a simple map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "Undisclosed Rondevue Point" to read "Undisclosed Rendezvous Point".

U.S.S. Eclipse Interior: This is a good map design with a well written story. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the word "spiece" to read "species" all locations in the dialogue.
-Consider changing "Our records dont mention any word about them after" to read "Our records don't mention them after".
-Consider changing the response button "So what does this have with Ascended Uioda" to read "So what does this have to do with Ascended Uioda".
-Consider changing "Hirojen ships inbound" to read "Hirogen ships inbound".

Undisclosed Rondevue Point#2: This is a nice map design with a good battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "Undisclosed Rondevue Point#2" to read "Undisclosed Rendezvous Point#2".
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "[Rank], Scanners show more Hirojen ships inbound" to read "[Rank], scanners show more Hirogen ships inbound".

Reliokah: This is a good map design with good battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Probally from one of the hits in our last confrontation" to read "Probably from one of the hits in our last confrontation".
-Consider changing the response button "Whats wrong with them" to read "What's wrong with them".
-Consider changing "I'm also reading multiple Devidian life signs aboard just like the Hirojen" to read "I'm also reading multiple Devidian life signs aboard just like the Hirogen". From this point forward I will note the map where "Hirogen" is misspelled.
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "I highly doubt they're working with the Devidian willingfully" to read "I highly doubt they're working with the Devidian willingly".

Reliokah's Surface: This map is a show stopper as it is impossible to complete due to the 3rd enemy mob being ridiculously over powered and there are no respawn points deeper in this map. I played on Normal level and spent 15 minutes trying to get past the last group and got killed at least 20 times and had to respawn. I would have to run all the way back across the map and find the last group at full strength. If it is impossible on Normal level it definitely would be on Elite.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The overall mission concept is good but the battles need some work.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 776
06-17-2012, 04:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
Federation Mission - The Wave Empire Ep.2
Author: Skyline45
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRDEHNDQN

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: I am unable to complete the mission due to the 3rd enemy mob on the "Reliokah's Surface" map. I do not mind a challenge but I was unable to get past that mob and I was on Normal level. I got killed and had to respawn 20 times. You need to balance the enemy mobs on that map or no one will be able to complete the map or the mission. This is a show stopper for this review. I have dropped the mission without rating it. I will reevaluate this mission when you feel you have corrected the issues in this report.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "He requested your immediet pressence at the set of coordiance he gave us" to read "He requested your immediate presence at the set of coordinates he gave us".
-Consider changing "It seems his medical team has confirmed whatever was worrying them" to read "It seems his medical team has found something that has them worried".

Mission Task: The initial mission task should contain the start location of the first custom map.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
Undisclosed Rondevue Point: This is a simple map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "Undisclosed Rondevue Point" to read "Undisclosed Rendezvous Point".

U.S.S. Eclipse Interior: This is a good map design with a well written story. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the word "spiece" to read "species" all locations in the dialogue.
-Consider changing "Our records dont mention any word about them after" to read "Our records don't mention them after".
-Consider changing the response button "So what does this have with Ascended Uioda" to read "So what does this have to do with Ascended Uioda".
-Consider changing "Hirojen ships inbound" to read "Hirogen ships inbound".

Undisclosed Rondevue Point#2: This is a nice map design with a good battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the map name "Undisclosed Rondevue Point#2" to read "Undisclosed Rendezvous Point#2".
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "[Rank], Scanners show more Hirojen ships inbound" to read "[Rank], scanners show more Hirogen ships inbound".

Reliokah: This is a good map design with good battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Probally from one of the hits in our last confrontation" to read "Probably from one of the hits in our last confrontation".
-Consider changing the response button "Whats wrong with them" to read "What's wrong with them".
-Consider changing "I'm also reading multiple Devidian life signs aboard just like the Hirojen" to read "I'm also reading multiple Devidian life signs aboard just like the Hirogen". From this point forward I will note the map where "Hirogen" is misspelled.
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "I highly doubt they're working with the Devidian willingfully" to read "I highly doubt they're working with the Devidian willingly".

Reliokah's Surface: This map is a show stopper as it is impossible to complete due to the 3rd enemy mob being ridiculously over powered and there are no respawn points deeper in this map. I played on Normal level and spent 15 minutes trying to get past the last group and got killed at least 20 times and had to respawn. I would have to run all the way back across the map and find the last group at full strength. If it is impossible on Normal level it definitely would be on Elite.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The overall mission concept is good but the battles need some work.
Brian
It only took me 2 respawns to kill him so I thought it wouldnt be a problem. Gotta love the foundry editor screw ups like making a single group OP, but then again the Romulans are kind of hard in the vanilla game too.

Also I take it I'm going to have to start at the back of the que over one little battle hiccup? Cuz it literally took me two seconds to fix that.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 777
06-17-2012, 05:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyline45 View Post
It only took me 2 respawns to kill him so I thought it wouldnt be a problem. Gotta love the foundry editor screw ups like making a single group OP, but then again the Romulans are kind of hard in the vanilla game too.

Also I take it I'm going to have to start at the back of the que over one little battle hiccup?
I have not moved on to the next mission yet so if you have already adjusted the enemy mobs I can pick the mission back up and run through it. Just let me know. I can continue the mission. Also groups on that map are Reman not Romulan. The battles within the Foundry editor are never a good measure of the enemy mob.

Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 778
06-17-2012, 05:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
I have not moved on to the next mission yet so if you have already adjusted the enemy mobs I can pick the mission back up and run through it. Just let me know. I can continue the mission. Also groups on that map are Reman not Romulan. The battles within the Foundry editor are never a good measure of the enemy mob.

Brian
Yea its already fixed. It's being published as I type this. And I played the mission with my game toon not my foundry toon. It was the only way to get an accurate est time, and feel for the battles. Everything should be balanced now. At lest I hope lol xD

I really really appreciate you not throwing me to the back of the line due to one hiccup ^.^

EDIT: Done publishing!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 779
06-17-2012, 06:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyline45 View Post
Yea its already fixed. It's being published as I type this. And I played the mission with my game toon not my foundry toon. It was the only way to get an accurate est time, and feel for the battles. Everything should be balanced now. At lest I hope lol xD

I really really appreciate you not throwing me to the back of the line due to one hiccup ^.^

EDIT: Done publishing!
I'll pick up the report from that map.

Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 780
06-18-2012, 01:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
I actually meant the review summary I wrote for your mission was the shortest I think I have ever written. Yes I read the dialogue and when I am coming to what I believe is the end of a dialogue tree I minimize and reopen so I can read the other dialogue as well. That is why when an author tells me their mission is a half hour I know I will spend at least an hour depending on the dialogue. Longer if there are a lot of spelling or grammar errors. Of course if there are lot of constant errors I will summarize them on the maps without writing down the entire dialogue.

Glad I could help, and thanks for authoring,
Brian
Yeah... I think my MDC system could force you to replay the mission 4 times over. I did however state that the mission had 4 endings already, so... Good luck beating the harder difficulty of the mission, the mob fights are harder than what's supposed to be a boss fight (seriously, since I used TWO mobs in some of the harder mobfights, there's so many of them you can't even count them!) I'd take an STF-grade team out for the job if I were you, just in case xD

Edit: The differences are caused in the following actions (or lack of the above): Activating the holograms in the second U.S.S. Explorer map, and releasing K'rek. That's the easiest combination of the 4, the hardest being not activating and not releasing him. Oh, right, be careful when fighting in the engineroom, there's 2 regular mobs (Commander grade, I use that more frequently as the mission continues) and a captain mob, could get REALLY nasty if you try fighting them in the open. I'd suggest making a bunker of sorts back at the entry door and keeping them out with pulsewaves and split beam rifles. (MACO rifle may be nice, but it just can't match the split beam on this fight xD) Again, taking a team that's capable of consistently beating ground STFs plus optional may damage continuity in space mob numbers, but you won't regret it during the real fight. Speaking of which, I volunteer to assist you should that be necessary

Re-edit: After all, this WAS a mission designed for 2+ players, being a part of my RP storyline
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