Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 781
06-18-2012, 01:35 PM
I forgot to tell you... I'm not a native english speaker, so my missions may have many (grammar mostly) mistakes... Sorry about that.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 782
06-18-2012, 03:14 PM
I'd like a review of my first Foundry mission if that's alright.

Title: Thy Own Enemy
Author: nrobbiec
Faction: Fed

I don't think it's a very long mission, it just was to learn how to use the Foundry before I attempt any story arcs and such.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 783
06-18-2012, 05:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalolorn
Yeah... I think my MDC system could force you to replay the mission 4 times over. I did however state that the mission had 4 endings already, so... Good luck beating the harder difficulty of the mission, the mob fights are harder than what's supposed to be a boss fight (seriously, since I used TWO mobs in some of the harder mobfights, there's so many of them you can't even count them!) I'd take an STF-grade team out for the job if I were you, just in case xD

Edit: The differences are caused in the following actions (or lack of the above): Activating the holograms in the second U.S.S. Explorer map, and releasing K'rek. That's the easiest combination of the 4, the hardest being not activating and not releasing him. Oh, right, be careful when fighting in the engineroom, there's 2 regular mobs (Commander grade, I use that more frequently as the mission continues) and a captain mob, could get REALLY nasty if you try fighting them in the open. I'd suggest making a bunker of sorts back at the entry door and keeping them out with pulsewaves and split beam rifles. (MACO rifle may be nice, but it just can't match the split beam on this fight xD) Again, taking a team that's capable of consistently beating ground STFs plus optional may damage continuity in space mob numbers, but you won't regret it during the real fight. Speaking of which, I volunteer to assist you should that be necessary

Re-edit: After all, this WAS a mission designed for 2+ players, being a part of my RP storyline
In general I do not like to review missions in a group or with the author. I want to see the mission as the other players will see it. I also have no problem re-reviewing a mission one the author has made the corrections they feel are needed. Mission reviews feed two things for me, one is playing STO, the other is my attention to detail.

Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 784
06-18-2012, 05:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by diogene0
I forgot to tell you... I'm not a native english speaker, so my missions may have many (grammar mostly) mistakes... Sorry about that.
No worries, but thanks for the heads up. I'll keep that in mind when I get to your mission.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 785
06-18-2012, 05:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nrobbiec
I'd like a review of my first Foundry mission if that's alright.

Title: Thy Own Enemy
Author: nrobbiec
Faction: Fed

I don't think it's a very long mission, it just was to learn how to use the Foundry before I attempt any story arcs and such.
Hi nrobbiec,

Thanks for the review request. You are currently 12th in the queue behind Marhawkman. I hope to finish another mission this evening and you should move up in the queue. I cannot give you an exact date for the completion of the review but I will get to it as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyline45 View Post
Hey Evil70th, I've got the second episode in my series ready to add to your que. I understand it will be a while, but your input is still very much appreciated and valued ^.^

Thank you for your time.

Mission Name: The Wave Empire Ep.2
Author: Skyline45
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HRDEHNDQN
Est. Time: 1hr 20min
Recommended Difficulty: Normal
Method of Report Delivery: Forum
Description:
After reporting in with Fleet Admiral Vincient Skyline, your orders are to investigate a long forgotten planet that the Waveloids hoped would stay buried. While there the mysteries you'll discover will lead to the prospect of all out intergalactic war.
Federation Mission - The Wave Empire Ep.2
Author: Skyline45
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRDEHNDQN

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with good map design, very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I would recommend this mission to all players who like a mission with very tough battles and a good story. I would not recommend you play it on Elite level as the battles on most of the maps are pretty tough even on Normal.

There are some spelling issues but the biggest issue I recommend you work on is the battle balancing. Most players like a good battle oriented mission along with a good story. However most players do not like being killed over and over while trying to defeat the enemy. There is no strategy in resurrecting over and over. It is not just the level of the enemy mobs on the map it is also the number of them. Too many battles in a mission, either required or optional, can become tedious. I would recommend adjusting the level and number of fights in the mission.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
Undisclosed Rendezvous Point: This is a simple map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

U.S.S. Eclipse Interior: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the word "spiece" to read "species" all locations in the dialogue and response buttons.

Undisclosed Rendezvous Point#2: This is a good map design with a tough battle and well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Reliokah: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "Why would the Klingons, Romulans, and Hirojens be working with the Devidians to read "Why would the Klingons, Romulans, and Hirogens be working with the Devidians.

Reliokah's Surface: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Three out of four of the enemy mobs are Reman. Was that intentional?
-Consider toning down the comedy in the dialogue.
-Consider changing "Thats not the only thing I can do with my tounge" to read "That's not the only thing I can do with my tongue".

Ancient Waveloid Research Facility: This is a good map design with a lot of very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I like that you did make me go to separate locations to shutdown the force field. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Ascended Uioda" dialogue; consider changing "Ill lead them out after these force fields are down" to read "I'll lead them out after these force fields are down".
-The post "Get back to Ascended Uioda" dialogue; consider changing the response button "Lets show them where to find their friends" to read "Let's show them where to find their friends"
-Be careful where you put the respawn point. It was right in the middle of two of the fighting groups.
-The "Daimon Uioda" dialogue; consider changing "You feel right for my trap" to read "You fell right into my trap".
-Consider chnaging "The Misthi aren't just a sub-spiece of Waveloids" to read "The Misthi aren't just a sub-species of Waveloids".
-Consider changing "The failed expirement that is" to read "The failed experiment that is".
-There are too many high level enemy mobs to fight through. You did add a respawn point in the north hall but it respawns you right in the middle two groups. You should balance the fighting, it was hard enough, almost impossible on normal so I imagine it would be impossible on Elite.

Reliokah: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The post call for reinforcements dialogue; consider changing "[Rank], We're just a couple of minutes out" to read "[Rank], we're just a couple of minutes out".
-Consider changing "I'm reading Romulan, Hirojen, and Klingon" to read "I'm reading Romulan, Hirogen, and Klingon".
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "but we didnt bring an army" to read "but we didn't bring an army".

Fall Back Location: The map design is very nice and simple. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

U.S.S. Eclipse Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue and is a nice wrap up to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The NPC "Captain Yuina Skyline" is sitting above the chair.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 06/16/2012 on forum posting for: The Wave Empire Series
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 787
06-19-2012, 09:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil70th
Federation Mission - The Wave Empire Ep.2
Author: Skyline45
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRDEHNDQN

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with good map design, very tough battles and well written story dialogue. I would recommend this mission to all players who like a mission with very tough battles and a good story. I would not recommend you play it on Elite level as the battles on most of the maps are pretty tough even on Normal.

There are some spelling issues but the biggest issue I recommend you work on is the battle balancing. Most players like a good battle oriented mission along with a good story. However most players do not like being killed over and over while trying to defeat the enemy. There is no strategy in resurrecting over and over. It is not just the level of the enemy mobs on the map it is also the number of them. Too many battles in a mission, either required or optional, can become tedious. I would recommend adjusting the level and number of fights in the mission.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear start location for the first custom map.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

MAPS:
Undisclosed Rendezvous Point: This is a simple map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

U.S.S. Eclipse Interior: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the word "spiece" to read "species" all locations in the dialogue and response buttons.

Undisclosed Rendezvous Point#2: This is a good map design with a tough battle and well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Reliokah: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "Why would the Klingons, Romulans, and Hirojens be working with the Devidians to read "Why would the Klingons, Romulans, and Hirogens be working with the Devidians.

Reliokah's Surface: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Three out of four of the enemy mobs are Reman. Was that intentional?
-Consider toning down the comedy in the dialogue.
-Consider changing "Thats not the only thing I can do with my tounge" to read "That's not the only thing I can do with my tongue".

Ancient Waveloid Research Facility: This is a good map design with a lot of very tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I like that you did make me go to separate locations to shutdown the force field. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Ascended Uioda" dialogue; consider changing "Ill lead them out after these force fields are down" to read "I'll lead them out after these force fields are down".
-The post "Get back to Ascended Uioda" dialogue; consider changing the response button "Lets show them where to find their friends" to read "Let's show them where to find their friends"
-Be careful where you put the respawn point. It was right in the middle of two of the fighting groups.
-The "Daimon Uioda" dialogue; consider changing "You feel right for my trap" to read "You fell right into my trap".
-Consider chnaging "The Misthi aren't just a sub-spiece of Waveloids" to read "The Misthi aren't just a sub-species of Waveloids".
-Consider changing "The failed expirement that is" to read "The failed experiment that is".
-There are too many high level enemy mobs to fight through. You did add a respawn point in the north hall but it respawns you right in the middle two groups. You should balance the fighting, it was hard enough, almost impossible on normal so I imagine it would be impossible on Elite.

Reliokah: This is a good map design with several tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The post call for reinforcements dialogue; consider changing "[Rank], We're just a couple of minutes out" to read "[Rank], we're just a couple of minutes out".
-Consider changing "I'm reading Romulan, Hirojen, and Klingon" to read "I'm reading Romulan, Hirogen, and Klingon".
-The post battle dialogue; consider changing "but we didnt bring an army" to read "but we didn't bring an army".

Fall Back Location: The map design is very nice and simple. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

U.S.S. Eclipse Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue and is a nice wrap up to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The NPC "Captain Yuina Skyline" is sitting above the chair.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 06/16/2012 on forum posting for: The Wave Empire Series
Thank you for the report Evil70th ^.^ You've given me great feedback to run with. I'm sorry the mission gave you so much trouble at first :/ The two times I ran through the mission with my in game toon I only had died a couple of times. However, my toon is a science officer with mad healing xD


Also about the "-The NPC "Captain Yuina Skyline" is sitting above the chair." I know about it... I tried for a hour to get her into that seat, but the foundry seems to only allow me to put her either above her seat or below the entire bridge lol,
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 788 We'll get back on track
06-19-2012, 11:09 PM
Hey folks,

So apparently I only joined today! As you can tell things are a bit of a mess with the transfer to the Perfect World. Anyway we'll get back on track with the reviews as this week comes to an end and I can get to them this weekend. :smile:

Thanks for authoring,
Brian

Last edited by evil70th; 06-19-2012 at 11:12 PM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 884
# 789
06-19-2012, 11:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Archived Post View Post
Thank you for the report Evil70th ^.^ You've given me great feedback to run with. I'm sorry the mission gave you so much trouble at first :/ The two times I ran through the mission with my in game toon I only had died a couple of times. However, my toon is a science officer with mad healing xD


Also about the "-The NPC "Captain Yuina Skyline" is sitting above the chair." I know about it... I tried for a hour to get her into that seat, but the foundry seems to only allow me to put her either above her seat or below the entire bridge lol,
I'm glad I could help with your mission. As for the "Captain Yuina Skyline" NPC consider having her stand in front of the command chair instead. It would look better than her floating above the chair. :smile:

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Ensign
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2
# 790 help finding the restus system
08-26-2012, 10:02 AM
I'm trying to do Spawn of Medusa III and I'm having trouble finding the restus system. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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