Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 11
11-12-2011, 03:57 PM
I really enjoy the saga! Congratulations for a job well dane!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 12
11-13-2011, 02:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cerritouru View Post
I really enjoy the saga! Congratulations for a job well dane!
So glad you enjoyed it! You are an incredibly talented Foundry author (Surrounded is one of my favorite missions) and your praise means a lot.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 13
11-13-2011, 04:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sovereign77x View Post
So glad you enjoyed it! You are an incredibly talented Foundry author (Surrounded is one of my favorite missions) and your praise means a lot.
And that means a lot for me! lol
But is true, your saga is really good and deserves to be where it is!
Keep at the good work, the Foundry needs good authors on this troubled times.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 14
11-14-2011, 05:40 AM
I took a break from working on my mission to play Deadly Intentions part 1. I thought it was pretty good, but for some reason the storyline didn't really draw me in completely. I understand this is just the introduction, so a lot remains to be revealed, but I sort of felt the mission could have been a bit more dynamic.

For example, when you beam over to the station, there is the part with the bar. I felt like that might have been more interesting if there were more people around, and rather than just talking to the bartender, you had to ask around to find out where Tasarg is. You could also have some optional conversations and fluff events on this part.

Also, rather than having the Deferi warn you about an ambush automatically, you could have it so that you don't find out about the ambush unless you talk to the right people first. Then, once you know it's an ambush you can learn that there's someone who has the security code. Anyway, it's just a thought.

In any case, I'll definitely take a look at part 2 in the next day or two.

Here's some specific feedback (some typos found, etc):

Deadly Intentions 1
  • Typo (Starfeleet) on Alexa Dursel dialogue: "How are you holding up?"
  • Typo (Fedetaion, gratned) on Tasarg bio, "At the age of 17..."
  • Felt that the bar area was a perfect place to add some optional fluff dialogue/encounters. You could have some people talking, and allow the player to "listen in" on what they are saying. Some conversations could be totally irrelevant, and others might hint at what is coming (the trap).
  • Without some optional dialogue like that, the bar felt kind of lifeless, IMO.
  • Typo (Captian) on dialogue just before going down the ramp to find Tasarg
  • Typo (Forcefiled) on dialogue (second box) where you encounter the force field after going down the ramp
  • Mozag hail, button says "Onscreen" should be "On screen"
  • Tasarg hail, button says "Onscreen" should be "On screen"
  • Typo (episdoe) on preview of next mission dialogue, last line.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 15
11-14-2011, 08:03 AM
Nagorak,

Thank you for spending some time with this mission series. As the author of the most highly rated mission on the Foundry, your feedback/criticism is absolutely invaluable!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nagorak View Post
For example, when you beam over to the station, there is the part with the bar. I felt like that might have been more interesting if there were more people around, and rather than just talking to the bartender, you had to ask around to find out where Tasarg is. You could also have some optional conversations and fluff events on this part.
I agree with this completely. This has actually been on my laundry list of improvements to make for quite some time, but it has taken a back seat to other improvements (especially to episodes 2 and 3 which I felt would generate higher ratings). Although this is the only episode to feature a social hub, I intend to go back and add a lot of extra dialogue options for all three episodes for players who like to go exploring.

I am also very grateful for the typos you discovered, and your willingness to track and record them (Evil70th does an excellent job of this as well, and it is extremely helpful). As for "On screen" v. "Onscreen", I really thought it was "Onscreen"; nevertheless, a quick Google search revealed that you are indeed correct, sir! I shall have to go back and weed this error out of all my episodes now.

Thanks again for spending some time with these missions. I'm excited to know what you think of the rest of the series!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 16
11-19-2011, 01:55 PM
I have finally gotten around to adding some interactive elements to the bar on Dorzal Station (thanks for the push on this, Nagorak). This location is featured in the first episode of my three episode saga. You can now interact with many of the people you find there, and even step up to the bar for a drink! You will find some interesting tidbits of conversation that will add a little bit of depth to your activities in the lower levels.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 17
11-25-2011, 03:47 PM
Wall of text incoming.. (just PM me if you want me to edit this at all, I don't want to clutter up your thread.)

Really enjoyed the series! Finally got around to finishing it this evening. The ground combat on the final mission was awesome fun.. 3 of my team (including me) got assimilated going up against the boss! So I got a real sense of impending doom struggling through that fight!

I also really enjoyed the character of the Klingon general you meet aboard the Carrier, he was hard as nails!

The only reason I gave pt3 4 stars and not 5 is: for me a mission has to offer more choice to be 5 star, because I was effectively forced to make a really difficult decision (Althogh I realise it was a "needs of the many" type deal) at the end I felt railroaded and not entirely immersed in the story as an active participant even though I liked the writing style.

I don't mind linear missions at all.. until I have to make life and death decisions and am not given a choice. For me a story that gives me the oppurtunity to make a bad choice and deal with the consequences is 5 star... but this damned difficult to implement!

I noticed a typo early in the mission, but like a prized eegit I neglected to write it down! I know it was on the admiral's ship interior map and it was a very short dialog from my space tactical officer that had one letter missing (hope this helps.)

I had a few thoughts about the effects used on the planet at the end (I hope this is reasonably coherent.)

The final map where the atmosphere is ignited. The explosions are triggering from a large radius reach marker yes? I think because I fly an intrepid (which turns and climbs like a double decker bus with warp nacelles at best of times) I was out of position from where I think you maybe expected me to be. So what happened was.. the planet texture change triggered and then after the dialog the explosions triggered. I still got that "WOW!..cool..." factor that I know you were going for, but then i suddenly saw the explosions and thought..was that secondary explosions?? Was that delayed..what happened?

Here is a humble suggestion of how this epic set piece could perhaps better be achieved:

Have the player rush to an objective above the pole... Perhaps the neoborg launch probe in an attempt to escape as they detect their less evolved "vanilla borg" cousins approaching at high warp.

Maybe you detect them attempting some kind of improvised tanswarp getaway which you have to stop? Maybe..if you're feeling particularly crazy: they open a gate to fluidic space..as a complete last resort?
Anyway.. whatever it is, the point of this objective is to get the player close enough to your initial trigger to set up the effect that's coming.

Have the player interact with a clickie trigger to complete the objective, which will then trigger a dialog that should convey a sense of urgency.
Science boff: "We're too close.. We're too close! The radiation will neutralise our shields.. Move! Get us out of here! GO!!!" *

The player will then see that their objective is to reach a marker back where the klingons are engaging the borg.

Now.. the reeeeally tricky part.

Starting from the central coordinate of your planet have staggered reach markers at different heights. That planet looks about 40 or so units high from equator to pole.. staggered wide radius reach markers at spacings of maybe 4 or 5 km should work. Although you have to remember that reach markers have height as well as a flat radius. They are effectively spherical even though you can't see them go (trust me I know.. this is how I did the shuttle jump in mere mortal enemies.) So you may have to actually place them descending diagonally in the direction the player is expected to go.

As the player dives lower to engage the borg fleet an explosion effect will trigger behind them at every level off of the staggered reach markers. You could also trigger your static nebula effect to add to the misdirection.

Thus the player will be most likely looking in the opposite direction, with explosions triggering around them and the nebula effect static on their screen you will hopefully get a much smoother and effective transition when you trigger the planet asset to pop and change.

Just a thought, I know full well this would be a nightmare to implement and my description probably doesn't make alot of sense anyway

* If you're feeling particularly cruel you could actually incentivise the player to hurry up by heavily implying that if they don't reach the trigger by a certain time they will in fact have to complete the impending fleet battle with no shields as the fallout from the planet's destruction takes them offline. (nebula effect in play).

You could even set up a timer with this by spawning some mobs inside the geometry of the planet itself just as the "get the hell away from that planet!!" objective begins.

Have a friendly battleship or cruiser spawn walled in with a mob of enemy fighters. Set a clickie interact called "safe" at the point the player is expected to reach.

Both the nebula effect's visibility and the "safe" clickie's invisibility will be tied to the component complete state of the fighter mob hidden inside planet. The nebula effect's "invisible" state will trigger from interacting with the "safe" clickie.

In this way.. If the player does not full impulse straight away to where they're meant to be and interact with the clickie before the hidden fighters are destroyed by the battleship they are then stuck with a nebula effect that they can't get rid of! Mwuhahahaha!!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 18
11-27-2011, 09:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pure_big_mad_boat_man
Really enjoyed the series! Finally got around to finishing it this evening. The ground combat on the final mission was awesome fun.. 3 of my team (including me) got assimilated going up against the boss! So I got a real sense of impending doom struggling through that fight!

I also really enjoyed the character of the Klingon general you meet aboard the Carrier, he was hard as nails!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pure_big_mad_boat_man
I don't mind linear missions at all.. until I have to make life and death decisions and am not given a choice. For me a story that gives me the oppurtunity to make a bad choice and deal with the consequences is 5 star...
I can definitely respect that. I've seriously considered giving this mission a pseudo choice at the end (similar to the end of The City of Polmar Ree) where the result is still the same, but the player can choose whether he/she wants to be the one to make the tough decision. For now, I'm holding off as the ending was actually very the reason I wrote the mission in the first place; I wanted to create a saga that depicted the very real burdens of command. Along with heroic battles and first contact scenarios, being in command sometimes means being the guy who has to make the really rotten choice. In short, I wanted to create a mission that would effectively convey the burdens of command. I realize this kind of a controversial ending won't sit well with everyone, and I'll take a hit in the reviews, but that's something I'm Ok with for artistic reasons.

And don't worry about the wall of text; I'm pretty famous for those myself. I also appreciate your feedback and suggestions regarding the special effects at the end.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pure_big_mad_boat_man
In this way.. If the player does not full impulse straight away to where they're meant to be and interact with the clickie before the hidden fighters are destroyed by the battleship they are then stuck with a nebula effect that they can't get rid of! Mwuhahahaha!!
You're kind of evil...you know that, right?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 19
11-29-2011, 11:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sovereign77x View Post
You're kind of evil...you know that, right?

All the best villains are stubbornly convinced that they are the good guy.. so yeah.. probably :p
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Deadly Intentions was recently featured on Podcast UGC! Among the positive comments offered by Havraha and NemesisChicken was praise for the overall story, as well as the combination of dialogue/action. Give it a listen by clicking here!
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:45 AM.