Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
So I am going to play through the missions that are still awaiting peer review and post constructive feedback.

I am hoping to help people make better missions the same as Nagorak did for me.

So - 1st review

Project ID : STHATAHJP55

I`m not sure what the actual aim of this mission is.Ok so you go to Risa (?) through the door in ESD next to the Admirals office.You then have to find some out of place plants.

There needs to be a reason for this.Who is Astrars? why does he want your help? Is it actually Risa your on or a Holodeck simulation? The contact comes up as `UGC Contact` so that needs changing to his actual name.
The description on the mission needs a [MissionInfo] to tell you where to go,why you are doing it and which door you mean.

One thing I learnt from Nagorak is to think about why the player should care about the mission and what drives them to find out more.If it is actually Risa you need to change the `leave from whole map` to the Risa door so that players actually go to Risa in sector space.

Then think about the reason for the plants - maybe some operative has placed a bio agent in the plants so that it spreads to the population via pollenation? Maybe you could have a group of kilngons or orions guarding each plant to try and stop you?

Maybe there is some nefarious plot to ruin/take over Risa as there is an important Starfleet Official on holiday there?

Crimson - I hope that you get to read this - I did leave some feedback on your mission in game.Also try looking at Starbase - its has some excellent videos about mission construction and multiple endings.I found it a huge help.

more to come - Monkeydude
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2 and more
11-02-2011, 01:57 AM

I hope you are reading this after the review I left of your mission.

Its a pretty good space/ground/interior mission - very similar in structure to my first one.

However it needs a little bit of fine tuning.

1.I am assuming the Kola Pirates are after the Cola Factory? In the mission text you said the head of Kola was requesting aid from the Federation. I assume that should be the head of Cola?

2.The enemies are all Klingon? I assume they are actually Kola Pirates (?) If so then they need renaming in the editior.This can be done by selecting the group in the list.Click the little drop down arrow and you should see Actor #1,Actor #2 etc. If you then change the `Contact` field to `Kola Pirate` or whatever then thats how they will show up in the game. Also you can do the same with the ships and call them `Kola Fighter/raider` or whatever.

3. It might be an idea to use the `Generic` ships by clicking the `Costume` tab on the Actor# .There are quite a few variations - maybe have a little fighter or crusier instead?. They will still fight like Klingons but look different.

4. Maybe cut down the number of space battles? seven is a bit much. I would suggest say 3 encounters with a crusier class ship supported by the second weakest fighter group. I think that would make it a bit more intense.

5. The spawns after you talk to `bunny` - owch ! Unless you are meaning for the player to get mown down in a hail of fire maybe a few less would be better? My char is a LC5 with mark IV armor ,Shields and Weapons and I got killed in like two seconds flat

6.I`m assuming the text on the `bench` should be `press the button to go inside` not vice versa?

7.On the subject of the bench - I`m assuming thats the actual factory entrance? maybe one of the small or meduim bases would look more like an actual factory (assuming the bulk of it is below ground?)

8. Lastly - maybe some more dialogue from your bridge officers? Ie when you get in system something like:

Bridge Officer Tac Ship "Sir I am detecting numerous Kola Raiders blockading the planet ! We will need to eliminate them before we can Beam down"

After the fight in orbit:

Bridge Officer Science "Thats the last of them [Rank] . I am getting a transmission from the planet,Putting it onscreen`

Bunny "Please you must come quickly.Kola raiders have landed and have taken control of the factory and surrounding area.You msut stop them! They have shut down production of the factory! It must be re started or our economy will be ruined !"

Then when you get to the planet and fight the raiders maybe the text on the building shoud say `enter the factory` or somesuch?

Anyhoo I hope that you take this in the spirit it is meant.You definitely have all the mechanics in place.Nagorak gave me similar advice which led to me totally altering my first mission. The best advice I can give is the same as before - Why does the player WANT to do this mission? Is there a logical reason ?

If Cola is for instance the planet Riza`s main export then they have a reason to help. Lastly I`m not sure but I think `Cola` is copyrighted (??) Maybe you could think up some alternate name for it?

All the best - one author to another

Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3 next one
11-03-2011, 09:39 AM
Project ID : STHI9ZMH43B

I`m afraid I couldn`t give this a review - It needs a [MissionInfo]Go to the Aria System in the ??? Block,??? sector[/MissionInfo]

Its a big ol galaxy and people may not know where that system is.If you can add more info I will give it a look - feel free to PM me.

Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
12-18-2011, 08:24 AM
Hey there,

I've just published a few missions, part 3 and 4 of my Mind Games series and part 3 of my Once Upon A Time series and they're all in need of reviews (as are all of my missions). I'd be very appreciative if you would take the time to play through some of my missions and give me some feedback.



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