OOC: Lol, what do I have to do to get some action going?
I froze, mid-drink, as the front wall of the bar suddenly and explosively disintegrated, sending patrons diving for cover - save for a pallid youth with a cyberhacker haircut, who continued to stare into space vacantly, the coin-op VR machine into which he was plugged having miraculously survived the violent onslaught of shattered building materials. As the dust and smoke cleared, a grotesquely overweight bearded man, his girth so massive that the ancient Captain Cosmos costume he was clad in seemed perilously close to bursting, extracted himself from the wreckage of what had apparently, mere moments before, been some sort of dune buggy. Without so much as an acknowledgement of the carnage he had just wrought upon the establishment, the trollish fellow, already wheezing and perspiring heavily from the physical exertion of standing up, waddled down the swath of shattered bricks, crushed tables, flaming engine parts, and no small amount of spilled food which lay before him, and sidled up to the bar with all the grace and agility of a cargo ship making port.
In an extremely high-pitched, nasally whine - interspersed with gasps for breath, as his cholesterol-laden heart worked frantically to keep an oxygen supply flowing through the miles and miles of extra arterial conduits which were necessary in a man of his considerable stature - the colossal man demanded a synthale on ice - diet, he added, as he was 'watching his figure.' The shellshocked bartender, no small man himself, but tiny by comparison to the monstrosity which had just been vomited gracelessly from the dune buggy, simply stared, a horrified expression frozen on his face, the glass he'd been polishing just moments prior to the intrusion still clutched tightly in his grip.
It was unclear to me whether the source of the barkeep's terror was the complete annihilation of the restaurant, or the grotesque appearence of the mass of humanity responsible for it. Unfortunately, there was little time to contemplate the situation, as mayhem suddenly ensued...