Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Hi

My new Mission 'Lineage' (FED level 16+) is now out for review.

It may or may not be in the review stage by the time you read this.

Any constructive feedback will be welcome. Any thing that does not work or could use tweaking let me know.

Its a mix of action and story so there is a fair bit of reading to it.

Hope you all enjoy it.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
12-26-2011, 10:10 PM
I know I can always expect the right feel of a Star Trek Mission when I play your foundry works. This new addition does not disappoint.

Since you said that any constructive feedback is welcome, I only have two things:
If you haven't talked with Evil70th yet or made a post here: http://forums.startrekonline.com/sho...d.php?t=236755, he is really good at catching spelling errors as well as doing his work fast. I could only catch a few errors (which I passed on with in game mail) but with a piece like this one with all of its dialogs it's bound to have some hanging about. I suggest putting Lineage up for his scrutiny, although you may want to warn him about your choice to use British spellings.

Second, which is only a suggestion since personally I think it works without it, is that if you want to lesson the damage of those "too much text" or "stoopid" reviews from hot shot idio-... I mean captains... you may want to think about slinking in a few more skip options in the main dialogs. I saw a few of them slipped in there but some of the longer main plot ones could benefit from more if you feel it needs. Really optional, and the mission is strong enough as is that it doesn't need them to keep a good rating.

(If you're worried about breaking the 4th wall with labeling them as [Skip] buttons I don't think you need to, just make the text something you'd expect a fastplay player to use. "Let's go in phaser's blazing!" or "*Yawn* I'm sure the science guru's will tell me what I need to know," and so on. With those options jumping to a one dialog summary of the need to know info, perhaps really important stuff highlighted in green.)

Anyways, that's my two cents! Thanks again for authoring another great mission. I always enjoy something that feels right and doesn't require me to play through 12 other missions in a series. Looking forward to more as always.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
12-27-2011, 12:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Revo
Hi

My new Mission 'Lineage' (FED level 16+) is now out for review.

It may or may not be in the review stage by the time you read this.

Any constructive feedback will be welcome. Any thing that does not work or could use tweaking let me know.

Its a mix of action and story so there is a fair bit of reading to it.

Hope you all enjoy it.
Really excellent mission. Loved the story! Really incredible map detail on the surface. I think I remember the Rolarians from a TNG episode. I might be wrong, but it rings a vague bell. I love foundry missions where they work off of previous canon and weave new tales.

On a separate note, do you know what it takes to get out of of the review stage? I've made two missions now and only one of them has been played a total of one time (by Evil70th as part of his review). I've seen new missions pop up from foundry veterans since then get lots of reviews in a short period of time, so people definitely play the foundry missions. What is it I'm missing?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
12-27-2011, 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Revo
Hi

My new Mission 'Lineage' (FED level 16+) is now out for review.

It may or may not be in the review stage by the time you read this.

Any constructive feedback will be welcome. Any thing that does not work or could use tweaking let me know.

Its a mix of action and story so there is a fair bit of reading to it.

Hope you all enjoy it.
I think the only suggestion I'd make are some respawn points. I keep getting disconnected from the server today and it starts me back at the beginning of the mission. I don't have to re-do each map. It just takes me to each map and tells me to go to the next, so a bit inconvenient.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
12-27-2011, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rswfire View Post
I think the only suggestion I'd make are some respawn points. I keep getting disconnected from the server today and it starts me back at the beginning of the mission. I don't have to re-do each map. It just takes me to each map and tells me to go to the next, so a bit inconvenient.
Unfortunately this is something that afflicts nearly every mission in the game. Not sure if respawn points have anything to do with it...

on topic, I'm planning to play this one soon!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
12-27-2011, 04:20 PM
@rswfire: It takes 5 ratings to get into the main mission list.

Captain Revo - I have to say it was really well done. I think the way you handled the klingons entering the world maybe could have been handled better, a captain really should not have delayed till the last moment to return to their ship. Possibly an Ensign or Lieutenant remained down on the surface? It would still give you the same reason for the Rolarians to keep their shield down though perhaps not as a personal connection to the whole YOU CAUSED THIS issue.

Though I soon forgave and then forgot it as I experienced the mission. The maps were awesome, I loved the story, the Prime Directive was given it's proper place. I literally wanted to go in guns blazing but I knew that I couldn't and it was resolved in a logical way.

I liked how you ended it (I don't want to give spoilers) with a positive and hopeful ending with the people entering a new era.

I did note 2 spelling errors both in the same box. When Talking to 'Prince Sota' "Klingoin" and one other error in that same dialogue that I can't quite remember.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
12-27-2011, 06:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogueEnterprise View Post
Unfortunately this is something that afflicts nearly every mission in the game. Not sure if respawn points have anything to do with it...

on topic, I'm planning to play this one soon!
It was amazing! I seriously loved it. Such an awesome story. It's just awe-inspiring the detail that some of you guys/gals put into your foundry missions!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
12-28-2011, 04:32 AM
Glad you guys liked it. I had a lot of fun putting this together.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
12-28-2011, 01:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Revo
Glad you guys liked it. I had a lot of fun putting this together.
How much time and effort did it take you to make? Did you have the storyline planned out in advance? I just feel like no detail was overlooked! Without any spoilers, I just really loved the transition of the world from "before and after." It was awesome.

It's hardly worth mentioning, but in case you want to hear it, there are some grammar errors throughout the many different dialogues. (One of my many roles for my job is as an editor, so I just tend to notice them...) They are easily overlooked though because of the depth and engagement the mission creates!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
12-28-2011, 02:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rswfire View Post
How much time and effort did it take you to make? Did you have the storyline planned out in advance? I just feel like no detail was overlooked! Without any spoilers, I just really loved the transition of the world from "before and after." It was awesome.

It's hardly worth mentioning, but in case you want to hear it, there are some grammar errors throughout the many different dialogues. (One of my many roles for my job is as an editor, so I just tend to notice them...) They are easily overlooked though because of the depth and engagement the mission creates!
I have had the core story in my head for months. I was just waiting for them to let me get more slots as I had used up all my other ones. The 'before and after' was the first thing I thought of and I wanted to build a story around it as I thought it was a cool premise.

Once I had the new slot I put the mission together in about 3 weeks. I have a fair bit of time on my hands and I know my way around the foundry, so it does not take me long.

spelling is sadly an area that I'm a bit weak on. I try to proof read as much as I can but its not the easiest thing to check with the way the foundry is set up, especially as I'm always making changes and things just fall through the cracks.

Again, im glad you liked it.
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