Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Mission Title: Contamination
Author: Evil70th
Project ID: ST-HOM98JB5K
Allegiance: Federation
Level: 16+
Description: The Federation Science Directorate has a rogue scientist on its hands. Doctor Klausen, of the Gavin IV Anthropological Study, has decided to interfere in the pre-warp culture on the planet and must be stopped. Admiral Quinn has recommended you to help Doctor Joanne Marbles, Director of Anthropology, Federation Science Directorate, in resolving this incident. Will you help the Federation?

Authors Notes: This mission is heavy on story dialog with a ďSkip DialogĒ option that gives you a summary of the information. Oh and I think I avoided using ďContiueĒ as a response button throughout.

There is some task based ground combat and a lot of optional ground combat on some of the maps. The optional combat is not recommended as it will add time to the overall length of the mission.

Estimated length:
60 - 90 minutes with full dialog.
30 - 45 with "Skip Dialog" option.

Hope you enjoy the mission and I look forward to your comments.
Thanks
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
02-20-2012, 10:25 AM
I really enjoyed your mission, the plot was great. I especially liked (without giving spoilers) how the Klingon involvement was explained, not what I predicted would be the case!

My only nitpicks were that the humour seemed more 'Stargate' than 'Star Trek' (but that's personal preference). You may want to put a respawn point after blowing up the armoury - the following battle can be a bit challenging on higher difficulties as the three groups are close together.

Very nice map designs and the characters were well fleshed out. Could very easily be the 'A' plot of an actual episode. Good job!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
02-20-2012, 10:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stylsy View Post
I really enjoyed your mission, the plot was great. I especially liked (without giving spoilers) how the Klingon involvement was explained, not what I predicted would be the case!

My only nitpicks were that the humour seemed more 'Stargate' than 'Star Trek' (but that's personal preference). You may want to put a respawn point after blowing up the armoury - the following battle can be a bit challenging on higher difficulties as the three groups are close together.

Very nice map designs and the characters were well fleshed out. Could very easily be the 'A' plot of an actual episode. Good job!
Thanks for the review. I am glad you enjoyed the story and maps. I'm glad I was able to employ a twist in the Klingon connection that wasn't what you predicted.

I am add a second respawn to the the armory map as I finish typing this response. It should be set shortly after this posts. I alos spread out the last few enemy engagments so they don't all come down on the player at once. Hopefully...

I'll also take a look at my dialog again to see if I can Trek up the humor a bit.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4 Broke the 5 review mark
02-21-2012, 04:28 PM
Well the mission has finally broken the 5 review mark with an average rating of 4 stars.

---------------------
Spike1790: (5 Stars)
There was a lot of reading, but the text was interesting. I recommend it even if you do not enjoy reading due to the fact you can skip over most of it. The idea of the first contact cultural contamination was an interesting one. It was really good.
---------------------

Thank you for the review.

---------------------
PatriotsHeart07: (5 Stars)
Mean while, the Fetakari research assistant sits down at his kitchen table with a hot up of coffee. He opens his brief case and takes out his PADD to study the alien tech research he brought home from the lab to work on in comfort...
---------------------

This one made me laugh out loud! Thanks for the review.

---------------------
Stylsy: (4 Stars)
A great mission with a solid plot and great map design.
---------------------

Thank you for the review.

Two others left (3 Stars) but no comment. One of those was while I was testing it despite the description, which asked that it was in testing and do not play or rate. So I an happy it got a 3 even in testing.

Thanks to everyone who has played it and reviewed it for me. All constructive feedback is welcome.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
02-21-2012, 05:02 PM
Wow, top notch mission there. I read the whole plot and it wasn't too text heavy. The sets are great and immersive. I really liked the mission!



These are not critical points, just my subjective feelings:

The end of the conference was a bit blurry. I was thinking for a while how to talk to them then I checked the map. I'd use a more direct approach like Dismissed!, or That is all, you may leave now! or something.

The sci officer was a bit too militant. I usually imagine them as Hoshi from ST-E or Daniel Jackson from SG1. Scientists who are not military by heart.

Drop the sandwitch and add a mug to the replicator for heightened immersion.

I'd try to add an alternate way to sneak in without fight.
Example: add a rock or two next to the fence, but make it too high to reach. Then a trigger something like "cut it short with a phaser" then spawn off the top rock or move the rock Y -2 lower. Then you can use it to jump in.
Same thing in the building. An optional non-combat way:
Move the opfor from the corridor and add a triggerable door to the conference room. If the door is triggered then spawn up the enemy NPCs.
But add a somewhat hidden trigger onto one of the machine in the next room with a text like "Drop an anesthezine canister into the air shaft". If that is triggered then the original door would get spawned out and a new door without the enemy NPC trigger would be up along several lying in face NPCs in the room. Then you can enter without a fight.

The grass is used as the trigger, that is good, but the canisters were placed at very different spots afterward. I'd use 1x1x1 rock debris just below the surface (Y: -0.5). The hovering tooltips would still show and you could place them to the correct canister spawn spots.

A finding like that should be guarded much better. Maybe toss in a few guard towers with personell and "dogs" standing around.

The guys at the tents should be there from the begining. I was looking in that direction and they appeared out of thin air.
If the players happened to deal with them earlier then you could just use an alternate dialog path or drop the warning prompt alltogether.

Maybe use beam in instead of plant. Those thing are huge.

The last engagement was OK on Advanced. My shield went down but survived.

The very last dialog prompt was nice and all but I felt that it broke the immersion somehow.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
02-21-2012, 08:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
Wow, top notch mission there. I read the whole plot and it wasn't too text heavy. The sets are great and immersive. I really liked the mission!
Iím glad you enjoyed the mission and the story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
These are not critical points, just my subjective feelings:

The end of the conference was a bit blurry. I was thinking for a while how to talk to them then I checked the map. I'd use a more direct approach like Dismissed!, or That is all, you may leave now! or something.
I thought about adding Doctor Marbles saying something like ďWell we donít want to keep you CaptainĒ or something along those lines. Iíll take another look at it and see if I can come up with a better end.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
The sci officer was a bit too militant. I usually imagine them as Hoshi from ST-E or Daniel Jackson from SG1. Scientists who are not military by heart.
Hmmm. I never really looked at it like that but that is a good point. Iíll take a look at it again and see if I can soften it up a bit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
Drop the sandwitch and add a mug to the replicator for heightened immersion.
Good point. I thought about putting something like that in the machine but just didnít. Iíll take another look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
I'd try to add an alternate way to sneak in without fight.
Example: add a rock or two next to the fence, but make it too high to reach. Then a trigger something like "cut it short with a phaser" then spawn off the top rock or move the rock Y -2 lower. Then you can use it to jump in.
Same thing in the building. An optional non-combat way:
Move the opfor from the corridor and add a triggerable door to the conference room. If the door is triggered then spawn up the enemy NPCs.
But add a somewhat hidden trigger onto one of the machine in the next room with a text like "Drop an anesthezine canister into the air shaft". If that is triggered then the original door would get spawned out and a new door without the enemy NPC trigger would be up along several lying in face NPCs in the room. Then you can enter without a fight.
The combat avoidance angle is a good idea. Maybe instead of a rock I could put a series of crates near the wall. Iíd have to get rid of the actual ďEngage EnemyĒ task, but that isnít that hard. I will play with this a little more and see what I can come up with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
The grass is used as the trigger, that is good, but the canisters were placed at very different spots afterward. I'd use 1x1x1 rock debris just below the surface (Y: -0.5). The hovering tooltips would still show and you could place them to the correct canister spawn spots.
Iíll look at that too. I used the grass because it seemed least intrusive. Iíve been watching kirkfats videos on creating triggers and things like that. I really would love to do some of the maps like you did with the Demon Planet Adventure version. That was fun and the way you created different endings depending on what you did was awesome. I played it three times just to make sure I hadnít seen something wrong. Your mission and kirkfats videos have given me the basic tools and encouragement to give it a shot. For example make so for the player that decides to go off and engage townspeople they get a special reprimand for making it worse or something like that. I wonít make those particular changes until Iíve mastered that technique. Thanks for the inspiration and information from your both.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
A finding like that should be guarded much better. Maybe toss in a few guard towers with personell and "dogs" standing around.
This is a good idea. Iíll try to work that in as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
The guys at the tents should be there from the begining. I was looking in that direction and they appeared out of thin air.
If the players happened to deal with them earlier then you could just use an alternate dialog path or drop the warning prompt alltogether.
Iíll do that too. Good point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
Maybe use beam in instead of plant. Those thing are huge.
I was doing it similar to the way Iíd seen it done in Cryptic and other community missions. You make a good point though so perhaps do a tricorder animation as indicating to the ship where to beam the charges. Then change the dialog regarding the ďPlanting of chargesĒ to ďMark the spot and beam in the chargesĒ. Iíll take a look at that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
The last engagement was OK on Advanced. My shield went down but survived.
Thanks. I had the groups standing a little closer together and no respawn point. Based on other feedback I received I added the respawn point. I also thought it might be better if the player could engage them one at a time so I moved them further apart. They are not a high level group as I didnít want them pulling out specialized weapons that would give away who they were with the skins on them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
The very last dialog prompt was nice and all but I felt that it broke the immersion somehow.
Iíll consider removing it.

Well again thanks for the feedback and suggestions. As I always say it helps to have someone not creating the mission look at it. They will often see things we are too close to see.
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
02-23-2012, 12:13 PM
Hey Brian,

I haven't been to the Forums for a bit, but I'll get to playing your mission by this weekend. Looking forward
to playing it.

Duke-of-Rock
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
02-23-2012, 12:16 PM
Hey,

I just played your new mission and thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for creating it. It gave off a very classic (TOS or TNG) vibe to me.

There were a couple of things I noticed that I thought I'd pass along.

In the database you look into when you're at warp, you use the term "star date." I've always seen it as one word rather than two.

In what I think is Dr. Bennett's final dialogue box when you're in orbit around the planet, she says "as possible" twice in subsequent sentences. There's nothing grammatically wrong with that, of course, and people actually do talk that way sometimes, but it's always bothered me reading it. I might be totally alone on that one.

I got the impression that J'arpak (I hope I'm getting that name right--I was scribbling as I played and I can't completely decipher my note) was Vulcan. But in an early dialogue box during the first conversation with him he uses a number of contractions. That struck me as a little odd, unless he's really not Vulcan.

When I was sneaking into the installation to get the Dr. and had to engage the groups of guards at the entrance, I started pulling a lot of civilians into the fight. I was using an engineer-heavy away team with lots of turrets and drones, which do have a tendency to let fights spiral out of control. I also noticed my Boffs firing through walls to get at those nasty civilians. Not sure what to do about this, if anything, since part of it isn't under your control. Someone with a different set up than me might have done fine and the shooting-through-walls thing is not your doing at all.

Just before changing maps to the depot, there are subsequent dialogue boxes that both contain the phrase "Captain, we're ready to beam the away team near the Fekara weapons depot..." One is a regular dialogue box. The other is a map transition dialogue.

Now this contains something of a spoiler, so I'll hide the next bit. I wondered if the revelation that the original contamination came from a crashed ship could have been hyped up a little. It seemed to get dropped kinda suddenly by one of my Boffs, without a real sense of discovery. Here was this big mystery, and it got cleared up like that. I don't have any good ideas here, but I was kinda hoping for a bigger reveal.

All these details aside, it was a great mission and a lot of fun to play.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
02-23-2012, 03:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duke-of-Rock View Post
Hey Brian,

I haven't been to the Forums for a bit, but I'll get to playing your mission by this weekend. Looking forward
to playing it.

Duke-of-Rock
Thanks. I'm looking forward to your feedback.

Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
02-23-2012, 04:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars
Hey,

I just played your new mission and thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for creating it. It gave off a very classic (TOS or TNG) vibe to me.
Thanks. That was the feel I was kind of going after. Sort of the borderline arrogant Captain except the Captain and team of BOFFís really are that good.

Iíve played/reviewed a few missions that are really well done except I always felt a little insulted by the apparent ignorance of my character in the mission. So I thought Iíd go in the opposite direction. Perhaps a little too far?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars
There were a couple of things I noticed that I thought I'd pass along.

In the database you look into when you're at warp, you use the term "star date." I've always seen it as one word rather than two.
Thatís a good point. I didnít really think about it. It probably happened as I wrote the script in Word it found that as a spelling error and I didnít think to check it on STO or the web. I couldíve done a Google search and it wouldíve solved that right then. So the short answer is; Iíll fix it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars
In what I think is Dr. Bennett's final dialogue box when you're in orbit around the planet, she says "as possible" twice in subsequent sentences. There's nothing grammatically wrong with that, of course, and people actually do talk that way sometimes, but it's always bothered me reading it. I might be totally alone on that one.
This is another excellent point. Since returning to school to get my degree Iíve written countless essays so youíd think Iíd know better. Iíll take another look at it and see how it reads. It is possible I missed it too. If the all mighty Word didnít catch it I probably ignored it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars
I got the impression that J'arpak (I hope I'm getting that name right--I was scribbling as I played and I can't completely decipher my note) was Vulcan. But in an early dialogue box during the first conversation with him he uses a number of contractions. That struck me as a little odd, unless he's really not Vulcan.
The contractions will be removed for the Vulcanís across the board.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars
When I was sneaking into the installation to get the Dr. and had to engage the groups of guards at the entrance, I started pulling a lot of civilians into the fight. I was using an engineer-heavy away team with lots of turrets and drones, which do have a tendency to let fights spiral out of control. I also noticed my Boffs firing through walls to get at those nasty civilians. Not sure what to do about this, if anything, since part of it isn't under your control. Someone with a different set up than me might have done fine and the shooting-through-walls thing is not your doing at all.
If I put up an invisible wall too but then I was trying to leave the option open for the player, if they were in the mood to ďfightĒ they could. I am also going to add Pendra80ís suggestion about removing the engagement of the guards as a mission task and giving the player the option to sneak over the wall instead. That might add a level of interests to the game.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars
Just before changing maps to the depot, there are subsequent dialogue boxes that both contain the phrase "Captain, we're ready to beam the away team near the Fekara weapons depot..." One is a regular dialogue box. The other is a map transition dialogue.
Iíll take a look and remove any duplicate dialogs that may be in the mission.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars
Now this contains something of a spoiler, so I'll hide the next bit. Redacted-Spoiler I wondered if the revelation that the original contamination came from a crashed ship could have been hyped up a little. It seemed to get dropped kinda suddenly by one of my Boffs, without a real sense of discovery. Here was this big mystery, and it got cleared up like that. I don't have any good ideas here, but I was kinda hoping for a bigger reveal. Spoiler-Redacted
Without giving it away either, in retrospect I see your point about this. Iíll take another look at it and see if I can flesh it out a little more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mygod_itsfullofstars
All these details aside, it was a great mission and a lot of fun to play.
Thanks for playing the mission and I am glad you enjoyed. I really appreciate the constructive feedback. I will be working all these suggestions into the mission tonight and tomorrow.

Thanks again
Brian
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:37 PM.