Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 1 Hijacked - Redux
02-27-2012, 09:40 AM
Hijacked
ID: ST-HSTFSRBQL
Starfleet, Any Level
Starting Location: Veela system, Regulus sector block
Duration:~20-30 mins
Style: Adventure, Single player

Limited time offer:
If you find the perfect ending, I will send you whatever I get in my next STF run (Elite). Except for Bound on pickup items of course.

The USS Aswan has failed to report to Fleet HQ as scheduled. Determine the nature of delay and take whatever measures are necessary.
The Aswan was last spotted in the Veela system at the Regulus sector block.
Both Gorn and pirate ships were spotted in the area, exercise caution!


It is a remastered version of the old adventure mission. The premise and the plot is the same as the original. However, it is enhanced and expanded to be more organic and believable in the 25th century.
It is 100% branched mission with 5 hard endings and plenty of soft endings, depending on YOUR actions. Finding the perfect on the 1st try may be a challenge.

Make sure your BOFFs are on the transporter pad before you beam.



Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
02-29-2012, 04:21 PM
Ok managed to fix the terrible BOFF behavior. Now they can follow you anywhere without fallign through the floor or jumping through the roof.

Also changed and expanded things here and there and upped the ground mobs.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
Hijacked
ID: ST-HOTXO4O3P
Starfleet, Any Level
Starting Location: Veela system, Regulus sector block
Duration:~20-30 mins
Style: Adventure, Single player


The USS Aswan has failed to report to Fleet HQ as scheduled. Determine the nature of delay and take whatever measures are necessary.
The Aswan was last spotted in the Veela system at the Regulus sector block.
Both Gorn and pirate ships were spotted in the area, exercise caution!


Can you please review this remastered mission? It is 100% branched with 5+ hard and 20-30 soft endings. Finding the perfect on the 1st try may be a challenge.

The BOFFs refuse to leave the transporter room because of the door bug!
Until that is fixed, imagine your BOFFs are still with you. I lowered the difficulty of the mobs so you could beat them alone if you choose so.

Thank you!
Federation Mission - Hijacked
Author: Pendra80
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HOTXO4O3P

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is an outstanding mission from the outstanding map design with branching mission dialog and elements to the balanced combat and the choices there. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who loves great map design combined with excellent branching story dialogue, story elements and a true capability to choose multiple paths to multiple endings. I tried at least five different combinations to check as many of the potential outcomes as possible. This mission, like your others, further expands the Foundry’s boundaries… You have shown authors the way to create multiple endings to their maps as well as the story as a whole, depending on map space usage. Great job!

Just so other players know, if you get booted from the game for any reason after you’ve transported over to the Aswan you have to remain out of the mission for about 10 to 15 minutes to let the map reset. This is nothing the author can help; it is the way the game is designed. I’ve seen this in Cryptic missions too. You do not have to drop the mission just be patient.

I wanted to discuss the use of rank capitalization to include abbreviations, i.e. cmd. Paul M. Jackson should read CDR Paul M. Jackson. As a retired U.S. Navy Chief I see this in missions all the time. So based on my service the general rules surrounding this are that if you are referring to a person by rank it should be capitalized, i.e. “Captain Frank Drizzlerane is a great captain”. If you are referring generically to a rank it is okay to use lower case, i.e. “The rank of captain is one we all aspire to reach”. Above you may have noticed that I used “CDR” vice “CMD” in the correcting example. Again from my military experience the use of “CDR” as an abbreviation refers to the rank of a commander. Another use would be “LCDR” for lieutenant commander. The abbreviation “CMD” is used to refer to command. It is a minor issue in the grand scheme of the mission but one I felt needed to be addressed.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a very intriguing description with some nice story elements. I like the notes, especially the last one talking about the BOFF's. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted only one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding [Rank] [LastName] at the beginning to personalize it a little more.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant mission dialogue. There is a enough detail to make you want to click "Accept". I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Consider adding the sector block to the mission task as well.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "I advise to drop out of warp" to read "I recommend dropping out of warp".

MAPS:
Veela IV: This is a good map design with a good battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Commander Davis" dialogue; consider changing "This is commander Davis" to read "This is Commander Davis".
-Consider changing "we have to do it the old way" to read "we’ll have to do it the old fashion way".
-Consider changing "The team has a hard time to see in the thick smoke" to read "The team is having a hard time seeing through the thick smoke".
-The Engineer BOFF report of Transfer of command keys" dialogue; consider adding another hard return before "Davis signals ready".
-Consider adding hard returns in between all dialogues that has only one separating it from the line above and below. Otherwise make them part of the same paragraph if part of the same dialogue.
-Consider changing the response button "All those hazard trainings finally paid off" to read "All that damage control training finally paid off".
-The Science BOFF dialogue; consider changing "Captain, analyzed the flight vector" to read "Captain, I analyzed the flight vector".
-Consider changing "Sensors have a hard time to penetrate the planet's immerse radiation belt" to read "Sensors are having a hard time penetrating the planet's immense radiation belt".

USS Aswan: This is an outstanding map design with all the branching story dialog elements to choose from. I tried them all to see what the variations are and to make sure I checked all aspects. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The "Hail the USS Aswan" dialogue; consider changing the response button "You've illegally comandeered SFC property" to read "You've illegally commandeered SFC property" and adding punctuation to it.
-The use of rank capitalization or not. I’ll cover this in my summary.
-Consider adding hard returns in between all dialogues that has only one separating it from the line above and below. Otherwise make them part of the same paragraph if part of the same dialogue.
-The "Thrace" report dialogue; consider changing "Thrace is one of the younger member of the clan" to read "Thrace is one of the younger members of the clan".
-For the Gorar system report consider changing the "Earth" standard years to Stardates.
-The cut down wires safely dialogue appears after I cut down the wires.
-The "Check EPS conduit" dialog; consider changing "This gave me an idea" to read "This gives me an idea".
-The "Deactivate forcefield" trigger; there is a bottle visible on the floor.
-Even after resolving all elements, recovering the hostages and bridge intact the “Beam directly to the Aswan’s bridge” option is still present on the pad when you go to “Chief bring us home (end mission)”.
-With the resolved hostage success dialog from Admiral Trent; consider changing "your quick thinking" to read "Your quick thinking".
-Consider changing "The crew can complete the repairs in at high warp" to read "The crew can complete the repairs at high warp".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. I know my mission authoring will never be the same again, thanks to your feedback and missions as well as Kirkfat’s tutorials. Keep up the ground breaking work. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 03/04/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
03-04-2012, 06:37 PM
Unfortunately, the double beam out prompt can't be fixed because it would interfere with another pathway, badly. That is a foundry limitation at the moment.

The bottles are real props there and not used for triggering. They are placed on top of the crates, a blast probably moved one there.

I left the dates normal. Dates before 2260 are refered using normal Gregorian dates and not stardate. Data did that in First Contact also Ent used normal dates all the time.

I left the captain word all lowercase at 2 points to show the arrogance as much as possible.

I think I fixed everything else you mentioned. I'm not a native English speaker and there is only so much the spelling and grammar checker can fix. Good point about the ranks. I had no idea how to use them properly.

Thank you very much for the review again. Half the reason I made my missions was to demonstrate that authors don't have to stick to the current "all linear" approach.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
03-04-2012, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendra80 View Post
Unfortunately, the double beam out prompt can't be fixed because it would interfere with another pathway, badly. That is a foundry limitation at the moment.

The bottles are real props there and not used for triggering. They are placed on top of the crates, a blast probably moved one there.

I left the dates normal. Dates before 2260 are refered using normal Gregorian dates and not stardate. Data did that in First Contact also Ent used normal dates all the time.

I left the captain word all lowercase at 2 points to show the arrogance as much as possible.

I think I fixed everything else you mentioned. I'm not a native English speaker and there is only so much the spelling and grammar checker can fix. Good point about the ranks. I had no idea how to use them properly.

Thank you very much for the review again. Half the reason I made my missions was to demonstrate that authors don't have to stick to the current "all linear" approach.
I really liked it. There is no way I will ever be able to make another mission without the branching mission and dialogue tricks you and Kirkfat have taught me. This mission also demonstrated several ways to use map space for story telling. Great work!

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
03-05-2012, 09:52 AM
I have to admit, I'm excited to play this later today
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
03-05-2012, 09:56 AM
Classic Interplay missions in Foundry format? Checking these out tonight!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
03-05-2012, 10:31 AM
Once again, very cool mission. Good job!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
03-05-2012, 04:02 PM
Just played the mission and its incredible. Your use of hidden object states and all the optional objectives is really amazing. You deserve a job at Cryptic
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
03-07-2012, 10:07 AM
Thanks guys, I'm glad you liked it. This mission really gave itself for the multiple pathways solution.

The Demon Planet - Adventure edition worked like this as well, but the choices there were just too obvious.
You could complete that mission by not helping the colonists at all and insulting NPCs at every turn. But I doubt anyone on the Fed side played that way. So practically most players went through the same path and had the same perfect ending on the first try. So while it had replay value in theory, it was not really there in practice. Here, unlikely .

At the moment, I'm not sure the Love's Labor Jeopardized could be implemented. It was way to linear and had plotholes as big as a barn door.
The Another Fine Mess.... on the other hand had several very different endings. It also followed up the Elasi, I mean Saeli plot.
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:05 AM.