Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 1 Helna of Troy
02-10-2012, 09:50 AM
Hi everyone,

I could really use some feedback on my new mission, "Helna of Troy." It's a follow-up mission to TOS's "Who Mourns for Adonais."

Description: An archaeologist is requesting Federation assistance. Can you help him solve an ancient mystery?

Please leave feedback. I would especially like to know if you see any typos, plot holes, etc. Anything use a bit more polish?

Thank you! I hope that you like it.

ST-HUDZ7MX0S
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
02-10-2012, 01:45 PM
I just played through this mission-it was perfectly brilliant! I greatly enjoyed the puzzles and fight sequences.

However, the bit with the admiral seemed-somewhat heavy-handed and un-ironic, especially due to her name being Admiral Lovejoy. Personally, I would leave the scene, but change the name to a more Starfleet-sounding one.

Also, what was the point of the strange dance was my character doing when I began the side-quest?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
02-10-2012, 03:20 PM
Played it. Loved it. Recommend it.

(minor typo: "civilain" in the mission granting dialogue)
(tiny suggestion: have a physical object spawn upon defeat of the optional mob at the dig. that way the player knows where to go)
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
02-10-2012, 05:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KineticImpulser
Played it. Loved it. Recommend it.

(minor typo: "civilain" in the mission granting dialogue)
(tiny suggestion: have a physical object spawn upon defeat of the optional mob at the dig. that way the player knows where to go)
Great typo find thank you. Any others that you saw?

On the other suggestion, I'll check it out. I already two objects that spawn when the slidaks die. It's the pick up corpses invis object, which spawns another invis object of talking to supplier. I wonder why tricorder works on others but not those. Hmm...

Thanks again for typo find. Let me know if you remember others.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
02-10-2012, 05:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sm12905 View Post
I just played through this mission-it was perfectly brilliant! I greatly enjoyed the puzzles and fight sequences.

However, the bit with the admiral seemed-somewhat heavy-handed and un-ironic, especially due to her name being Admiral Lovejoy. Personally, I would leave the scene, but change the name to a more Starfleet-sounding one.

Also, what was the point of the strange dance was my character doing when I began the side-quest?

Funny, Lovejoy was the admiral from an earlier mission, so I didn't even think of the pun there, until you brought it up. I definitely get what you're saying, but she has a line or two in each of my missions, so I'll probably leave her in.

It's a corny joke that doesn't affect the story. But I thought it was funny, kind of like why a boss should never give employees their cell number. I'll see how others react.

Air guitar is too immersion breaking? I guess you're right. I'll change that.

Thanks for the feedback.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
02-10-2012, 05:16 PM
Great mission! I love your map design, you have done some amazing things with the limited amount of "details" available in the Foundry. May I ask what base map you used for the dig site?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
02-10-2012, 07:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maziken
Great mission! I love you map design, you have done some amazing things with the limited amount of "details" available in the Foundry. May I ask what base map you used for the dig site?
Thank you. It's the map, gateway ground.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
02-23-2012, 12:26 PM
I play computergames to shoot things not to use my brain... no, just kidding

I finished your mission a few moments ago and it was so much entertaining. I really loved it.

The story was very good and has this special "TOS-feeling" with this ancient gods topic and the "hand in space". The riddle was challenging. It took some time until I got the hints but it was logical and made me read between the lines.

The side quest with the pakled was funny. The guy really talked like a Pakled from the show.

Also I liked the appearence of Helna. She really became a famous Foundry Character and I always enjoy meeting her. The character of the professor was well designed. I liked his rudeness (in some way) and that he changed his behaviour after Helna appeared. That made him a 3-Dimensional character (I am not sure if you say it like this in english but it means that he became a "real" character/person).

The map designs were awesome. Especially the arena. Wow.

Thank you Mr. Kirkfat for a very entertaining mission!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
02-23-2012, 02:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NahariKajal View Post
I play computergames to shoot things not to use my brain... no, just kidding

I finished your mission a few moments ago and it was so much entertaining. I really loved it.

The story was very good and has this special "TOS-feeling" with this ancient gods topic and the "hand in space". The riddle was challenging. It took some time until I got the hints but it was logical and made me read between the lines.

The side quest with the pakled was funny. The guy really talked like a Pakled from the show.

Also I liked the appearence of Helna. She really became a famous Foundry Character and I always enjoy meeting her. The character of the professor was well designed. I liked his rudeness (in some way) and that he changed his behaviour after Helna appeared. That made him a 3-Dimensional character (I am not sure if you say it like this in english but it means that he became a "real" character/person).

The map designs were awesome. Especially the arena. Wow.

Thank you Mr. Kirkfat for a very entertaining mission!

Thanks for the detailed feedback. It's the first I've received about the Pakled. I'm very glad that you liked it.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
02-24-2012, 08:19 PM
Fantastic mission KF

I really enjoyed the story and your "temple" design was really impressive. Perfect length too.
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