Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 1 Engineering Emergency
03-07-2012, 11:12 AM
While en-route on a diplomatic mission in the vicinity of Andoria, the ship unexpectedly drops out of warp. The warp drives are out of commission and crewmembers are trapped by a radiation leak in Engineering. Is this an accident? Or sabotage?

Mission Title: "Engineering Emergency"
Author: @bluegeek
Project ID: ST-HTDHP6NN3
Faction: Starfleet
Level: Any
Duration: Short

Story-driven, heavy on dialog, NO combat.

This is my first published mission.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
QUOTE=bluegeek;4076965]Mission Name: Engineering Emergency
Author: bluegeek
Minimum Level: None
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HTDHP6NN3
Estimated Mission Length: 10 minutes or less
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post

Looking for polish recommendations. This is a no-combat, dialog-based mission that took me way longer to build than it did to play. It's my first publish.[/quote]

Federation Mission - Engineering Emergency
Author: bluegeek
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HTDHP6NN3

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a nice short mission with good map design and excellent story dialogue. I would recommend this mission to other players. There is a lot of potential to expand this story a little more and draw the player into it. Consider adding a few more interactions for the player to work on. The only real flaw in the story was the lack of any real creditable threat to the crew or ship other than the radiation. Perhaps you could turn it into more of a hostage situation or something along those lines. Otherwise it was a good mission.

Below are a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. Consider adding a little more story to draw the player in and make them want to click that "Hail" button. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a nice grant dialogue that some elements of it could be included in the description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good use of the initial mission task with a clear location for the start of the first custom map.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted two items to consider changing:
-Consider removing the [MissionInfo] dialogue "to start the mission".
-Consider changing the response button "Open a channel to Andoria" to read "Make it so".

MAPS:
Bridge: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple items to consider changing:
-Consider placing more bridge NPC’s at the stations.
-The “Ambassador” dialogue; a few of the buttons seemed to loop back to previous dialogue. It felt odd.
-Consider having the player go to the turbolift to head to engineering vice transport.

Engineering Deck: This is a good map design with well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider using a different console or changing the animation to "Typing on wall console".
-The Ambassador should not refer to the player by the "Nickname".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job from the map design through the story dialogue. I look forward to playing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 03/17/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
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