Lt. Commander
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# 1 "Vulcan Love Slave #9"
04-21-2012, 02:25 PM
New mission is out.

"Vulcan Love Slave #9"
ST-HHMERSV7M

Description:

The death of a Starfleet Admiral at Prell's Gentlemen's Club requires an investigation.

What you discover may have far-reaching consequences for Federation law and the rights of many artificial life forms.

-------------------------

I could really use some feedback, including any typos that you may see. This is a text heavy mission with light combat. There is a lot of reading involved.

Runtime: 40mins to an hour.

Please note: A revised edition will probably include some mini-games at Prell's. If you have any ideas, please let me know.


Thanks everyone!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
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# 2
04-21-2012, 03:11 PM
Such timing... I wonder if the Admiral's assistants reneged on paying the hired help...
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# 3
04-21-2012, 04:42 PM
Sounds intruiging! I love that it's taking place at a gentleman's club hehe.
I"ll have to check this one out

-Klintobean
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# 4
04-22-2012, 02:52 PM
can someone please tell me where the supreme court is
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# 5
04-22-2012, 04:42 PM
I found this mission really engaging. TL;DR: I wish this mission was part of the official storyline. You will too. This is Trek.

I'm the type of player who is very sensitive to storytelling through environments as much as anything else. Finding myself with a drunken Klingon yelling FOR THE EMPIRE in my ear upon my entry into Prell's hit the exact note I was expecting to find in such a club so close to the border. Your maps were simply inspiring in how they were made.

I can expand on that sentiment throughout the rest of the mission. I was impressed with the atmosphere which really enabled the story for me, particularly in parts were references to canon (such as the mention of The Acts of Cumberland from 'The Measure of a Man') were used to anchor concepts and not just as throw-away one-liners (Cryptic style). This is only topped for me by the overall pacing of the mission which was exceptional in how it gave a balance between dialogue and objectives.

If I was to place emphasis on one particular aspect of the mission that makes it worth while to play, it would be in how you presented a real issue to deal with. You so flawlessly integrated a 'sentient life' question into the game using an array of Trek canon, thereby expanding on those themes. Giving life to Trek. Thats exactly what this game is lacking. I was particularly enthralled at how you placed the ultimate decision (effectively) into the hands of the player.

That 'Yes', or 'No' before the deliberation REALLY got me. Stunned me even. Worried me. Trek always left me asking myself about what was going on. If I agreed with their stance on genetic engineering, or the prime directive (can of worms right there) or how I would respond if I was in that situation. Situations which for the most part could be applicable in the 21st century as much as they were said to be in the future... I actually picked No to see how you would handle things (whether it would accept the player's decision primarily) and was just horrified by the result! ^^

Enjoy the 100 dilithium tip, put it to good use, make more!

... and thanks.

p.s. On a matter of personal preference I would have preferred to be universally referred to as Captain, by Lovejoy and Prell.

On a spellcheck note:
Maybe change the "Thank you, Sir. I should have a report for you in 3 hours." to "Yes, Sir. I should have...". Unless it was intentional that your officer was thanking you for giving them an assignment/order ^^ (when in warp en route to Earth).

There was also a typo in the Orion's dialogue where you ask "State your Intentions" and he replies " I am interesting in a trade." I assume that should be 'interested'.
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# 6
04-22-2012, 05:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nynik
I found this mission really engaging. TL;DR: I wish this mission was part of the official storyline. You will too. This is Trek.

I'm the type of player who is very sensitive to storytelling through environments as much as anything else. Finding myself with a drunken Klingon yelling FOR THE EMPIRE in my ear upon my entry into Prell's hit the exact note I was expecting to find in such a club so close to the border. Your maps were simply inspiring in how they were made.

I can expand on that sentiment throughout the rest of the mission. I was impressed with the atmosphere which really enabled the story for me, particularly in parts were references to canon (such as the mention of The Acts of Cumberland from 'The Measure of a Man') were used to anchor concepts and not just as throw-away one-liners (Cryptic style). This is only topped for me by the overall pacing of the mission which was exceptional in how it gave a balance between dialogue and objectives.

If I was to place emphasis on one particular aspect of the mission that makes it worth while to play, it would be in how you presented a real issue to deal with. You so flawlessly integrated a 'sentient life' question into the game using an array of Trek canon, thereby expanding on those themes. Giving life to Trek. Thats exactly what this game is lacking. I was particularly enthralled at how you placed the ultimate decision (effectively) into the hands of the player.

That 'Yes', or 'No' before the deliberation REALLY got me. Stunned me even. Worried me. Trek always left me asking myself about what was going on. If I agreed with their stance on genetic engineering, or the prime directive (can of worms right there) or how I would respond if I was in that situation. Situations which for the most part could be applicable in the 21st century as much as they were said to be in the future... I actually picked No to see how you would handle things (whether it would accept the player's decision primarily) and was just horrified by the result! ^^

Enjoy the 100 dilithium tip, put it to good use, make more!

... and thanks.

p.s. On a matter of personal preference I would have preferred to be universally referred to as Captain, by Lovejoy and Prell.

On a spellcheck note:
Maybe change the "Thank you, Sir. I should have a report for you in 3 hours." to "Yes, Sir. I should have...". Unless it was intentional that your officer was thanking you for giving them an assignment/order ^^ (when in warp en route to Earth).

There was also a typo in the Orion's dialogue where you ask "State your Intentions" and he replies " I am interesting in a trade." I assume that should be 'interested'.
Wow, thanks for spotting that typo. They are like tribbles and they breed. I will fix that now.

I also really appreciate your comments here. I would like to humbly add that much of the content of the missions (as far as canon goes) was written first by Kestrel in the Path to 2409.

There is a big chunk of the path that deals with these events, but I guess the writer and the game are just too detached for any of that to make it into STO, at least not yet. It was one of the coolest parts of the Path to 2409. Unfortunately, I had to piece it together from a third-party website.

Anyways, you might tweet to Kest about the canon there, since I was only trying to give her story a conclusion. Unless a lot of that stuff comes from the STO novel, which I never read.

Thanks again for the feedback!
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
04-22-2012, 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by richievosp
can someone please tell me where the supreme court is
What do you mean?
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Posts: 120
# 8
04-22-2012, 06:08 PM
I was referred here by this thread, played it this afternoon.

tl;dr, Enjoy your other 100 dilthium tip.

I loved this mission. I absolutely agree that this is Trek.

I would have enjoyed a bit more about the murder itself. I mean, settling her as a citizen, alright. But she still committed murder; and we never really sorted her defense on that one. I also found it REALLY jarring that our dead admiral was just left in the holodeck. I took this mission, bopped around for a few hours, did some doffs... I mean, real-time, I was halfway across the quadrant at a point.

I imagine he'd be rather smelly.

This could have been broken up, I feel, into two missions; the murder investigation and the trial. As it stands, both sides felt a little bit rushed to me. Part of this is the way you skip over whole big chunks of time. I would LOVED to have seen the trial and interrogation go on so we could hear the whole thing. Even if it's a bit shorter than is realistic. It would have been better than the gold text of summarizing doom.
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Posts: 120
# 9
04-22-2012, 06:13 PM
ill put it on my to do list and then if im lucky she will come back with me on my Dkora, chicks dig a Dkora

Thanks for the heads up
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Posts: 120
# 10
04-22-2012, 07:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stargate525 View Post
I was referred here by this thread, played it this afternoon.

tl;dr, Enjoy your other 100 dilthium tip.

I loved this mission. I absolutely agree that this is Trek.

I would have enjoyed a bit more about the murder itself. I mean, settling her as a citizen, alright. But she still committed murder; and we never really sorted her defense on that one. I also found it REALLY jarring that our dead admiral was just left in the holodeck. I took this mission, bopped around for a few hours, did some doffs... I mean, real-time, I was halfway across the quadrant at a point.

I imagine he'd be rather smelly.

This could have been broken up, I feel, into two missions; the murder investigation and the trial. As it stands, both sides felt a little bit rushed to me. Part of this is the way you skip over whole big chunks of time. I would LOVED to have seen the trial and interrogation go on so we could hear the whole thing. Even if it's a bit shorter than is realistic. It would have been better than the gold text of summarizing doom.

Thanks for the feedback, but it wasn't a trial of her associated with the crime. The Admiral was also not left in the holodeck.

But, based on other feedback, you are probably right that I summarized too much with gold text. I try to pace things where the closer you get to the end, the less reading is involved until the climax.
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