Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Hello All,

I just publish my first mission. Search and Rescue.. No not really

It's a basic mission with a little twist. And being that I was learing the editor as I was writing this I'm sure there are some things I could have done better/diferently. So I'm was wondering is this how you get more people to play and give feed back "good or bad" / suggestions / bug reports on your missions once they leave the review area and move onto the public side where it tends to get lost in the mix?

Thanks,

cerberus32
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by cerberus32
Hello,

I would like to know if you would consider doing a reviewing my first mission.

Mission Name: Search and Rescure No Not Really
Author: Cerberus32
Minimum Level: Says 41+
Allegiance: Federation
ST-HQFXQUK7G
Estimated Mission Length: 30 minutes
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post
Federation Mission - Search and Rescue, No Not Really
Author: Cerberus32
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HQFXQUK7G

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with excellent map design with tough battles throughout. The story dialogue is very well written. I would highly recommend this mission to anyone who loves those elements in a mission.

I mention the use of the response button “Continue” on every map. This is a pet peeve of mine but particularly when it is used in conjunction with a report from a BOFF. It was used very extensively throughout. In general I do not recommend its use in missions. Of course it is entirely up to you how it is used, I can only recommend.

The other item was the use of Bridge BOFF’s during a map transfer. As I mention below it felt more appropriate in those circumstances for an Away Team BOFF. This was based on the dialogue combined with the story specifics. It’s certainly not a huge problem but only a detail oriented item for you to consider changing.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: The description is good but appears to be a duplicate of the initial grant dialogue. Consider changing the description to more of a story surrounding what will be revealed in the post "Accept" mission dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: : The grant dialogue is the same as the description. Refer to the recommendation above for the description. The post "Accept" dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The last part of the post "Accept" dialogue repeats itself. Consider removing the second "report back to me what you find out”.

Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task but consider adding the sector block to the location as well. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Search and Rescue: This is a great map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button “Continue” especially when responding to a BOFF report.
-Consider moving the battles to be more in line with the flight path of the player. I had to fly clear across the map to engage.

Kingon Station: This is a good map design with nice battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The map name is “Kingon Station”.
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-The Map Transfer person is my Ship BOFF. Based on the dialogue consider changing it to the Away Team BOFF.
-Consider changing "I'm Not sure where" to read "I'm not sure where".
-Consider changing the response button “Go to Next Map” to read “Let’s go” or “Energize” or something along those lines.

Kingon Cube Deck 1: This is a good map design with tough battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The map name is “Kingon Cube Deck 1”
-The use of the response button “Continue”.
-The console near the "Tactical Officer" task says "Interact".
-Consider changing "squadrons are searching the debris field for use" to read "squadrons are searching the debris field for us".
-The Map Transfer person is my Ship BOFF. Consider changing it to the Away Team BOFF.

Search and Rescue#2: This is a good map design with some tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is very well written and this is a nice wrap up to the mission. The last bit of dialogue with Agent Howard Carter did feel a little rushed. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did an excellent job with the development of this mission from start to finish. I thoroughly enjoyed playing/reviewing this mission and look forward to playing more of your work soon.
Brian

This critique report also filed 04/19/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
05-20-2012, 08:54 AM
Brian,

First let me thank you for taking the time to review my little mission and giving me some great feed back. I will go back and make the changes you suggested and I might even add a thing or three.

This was my first go at making a mission in the Foundry, and I've learned a bit since i finished this mission. Little things like, how to do branching dialogs for one Opened up a whole new world.

Thank you again,

Roger
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
05-20-2012, 11:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cerberus32
Brian,

First let me thank you for taking the time to review my little mission and giving me some great feed back. I will go back and make the changes you suggested and I might even add a thing or three.

This was my first go at making a mission in the Foundry, and I've learned a bit since i finished this mission. Little things like, how to do branching dialogs for one Opened up a whole new world.

Thank you again,

Roger
Glad I could help, and that is my goal. It was a fun mission.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
05-20-2012, 05:11 PM
OK reworked the mission and posted it with most of Brians sugestions and threw a few of my own in to.

Thanks,

Roger
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