Gingie, that's a joke right..... Right?

Hey guys I know mine may be a bit rough would love to hear any feedback will hopefully edit it to polish it off when i get some time off over the next few days

What? You didn't think it was funny?
I blame the alcohol.

I thought it was hilarious.

This is the only way I could see the captain leaving his ship. Also that's why i didn't use the star date either, because who knows exactly WHEN he would leave the ship.

Captain Conrad: it did seem a little off topic, but i always like when people add in stuff from the game. it was good but i could have used a little more cowbell.... er, i mean subject. If it had more of the Captain's thoughts on leaving or the actual act of it would have been spot on.


Captain Owen: It wasn't bad, but it did seem like you skipped the topic itself.

Soriedem: I agree with Kira Yamato, that WAS a really interesting way of doing this, and i liked the premise as a whole. nice work Sir.

Reshaan: I liked it but it was a bit hard to read due to the spacing. It just seemed very "wall of text". Straighten that up and i'd say you're good to go.


As always and in the interest of fairness i look forward to hearing any and all feedback on what i've written as well as adding an honest opinion if wanted.

Wraith, I gotta say, the end of yours made me do a double take of that last paragraph, very well put. Only thing I'd say that you'd need to improve is that you drifted with your topics in your second paragraph, Which seemed a bit odd for the character that you are trying to portray. Very good all around though.

Soridem, Interesting Ideas in there, but It was hard to get through. Try dumping the spacing, and try to watch how your portray your character. When you first introduced him, he seemed hardline, and straight edge, but then switch gears to pranks and singing? It was an odd twist of character is all that I'm trying to say.

I've got my own up, so would appreciate some feedback on what ya'll think of it.

Wow wraith that was a surprise ending right there... But you kinda took a few interesting topics and just left them as that. Topics.... I'd like to know more about that "genetically engineered killing machine".. But still, that ending was VeRY unique..l

Vauck: I can see where you're trying to go with this, but it just didn't seem very trek. Down Periscope yes, but there was a lot in there that just seemed vulgar for a quick laugh rather than well written vulgarity. I can see actual people in those situations, but personally it just didn't work for me in terms of Star Trek.


Captain Owen: My actual main character that i play in game is Wraith, who IS the genetically engineered killing machine, but for the sake of story and keeping it close to canon being an augment he would never really be allowed to serve in any official capacity so i have the Captain Donovan character. I definitely like including him in the stories and would love to do so more depending on the challenges.



Although looking back, Vauck was right about me getting a bit off topic as that character though. I didn't really notice it until he mentioned it, so thank you.

First of all, I would say that I enjoyed all of your storys so far. I wished I had similar writing skills like you guys. My personal favourites are the storys of Snapshot_9 and Wraith_Shadow.

@Wraith
Wow, just wow. I 'd never expected such an ending. It gave me really the creeps. Very well done.
*twothumbsup*