I am sorry for the pain that the OP is going through. I don't think there is anything I can say to make you feel better except to say you are not alone. There is no 'right' way to feel about the death of a loved one. Our feelings change with time. The darkest feelings will pass. The pain never goes away completely but the dark feelings of despair and hopelessness will recede.
Wtih respect to your worries- I think we are all remembered by the universe. Every action we take in our lives can change the world around us, even if our impact on the world is mainly the joy and support we bring to our loved ones.
I've only lost one close family member in my lifetime, in terms of death that is. But my family is a heavily fractured one, I've never even met my mother or anyone on that entire side of the family. I went through a period of depression a few years ago, thought a lot about death and how it seems like no one will really notice but eventually I learnt that what matters is the impact you can have on the small amount of people you get to know. I like to try and make people happy, sometimes friends don't seem to respond well if you care about them too much. I view friendship differently though, I can't be open and honest with my family but I can't turn my friends into my family. I suppose my point is, it's really important to treasure each moment, cause even at my age they are times that will never come again. "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been." Even the happiest of us can find a reason to be sad if we look for it, so we should just enjoy the little things in life. The best way to remember is with a smile.
Since the "I" ends when life stops, I'm hoping they take the inactive sack of decaying meat that I've become (in contrast to the active sack of decaying meat I am now) and drop me in a peat bog with a full collection of 21st century items for the scientists of the future to pour over.
That or letting some med students poke around my insides so they can learn to make life better.
I sympathize with the OP. The last 4 years for me have not been especially great first my father, few friends, my cousin almost three months ago and my grandfather has Alzheimers Good thing I have my gf to help me out with it don't know what I would do. Probably bury myself in my work. Its never good feeling helpless and unable to do anything to stop it. I think Star Trek Generations and Wrath of Khan had good messages about this kind of thing.
The only advice I have is to be careful who you discuss your problems with. A board like this probably isn't the best place to open up to people. All it takes is one troll to give you more anger than you've ever experienced in your lifetime. I'd suggest you open up to a smaller group of people who you know instead.
Originally Posted by carmenara
This is truth.
Though, if I were to let loose requests for personal advice / issues in a generally trustworthy and mature forum environment, STO is on the top of my list there.
There are trolls just like all other internet communities but there seems to be honor amongst STO trolls too. They don't intrude into serious or good-natured threads
QFT. But in answer to your question, I have a very strong faith that sees me through. I will say a prayer for you and your family, the ones still with you and the ones you've lost. God bless you, friend.