Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 1 The 14th Rule of Acquisition
06-05-2012, 08:12 PM
Title: The 14th Rule of Acquisition
Author: Maziken
Faction: KDF
Description: "The Empire has recently come into possession of Romulan holographic technology. Can you assist with the research and development of this technology so that the Empire has a decisive advantage over their enemies?"

This mission is sort of a sequel to "Federation Desperation" but one does not need to have played that mission in order to play this one.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maziken
I would greatly appreciate a review of my newest mission!

Title: The 14th Rule of Acquisition
Author: Maziken
Faction: KDF
Description: "The Empire has recently come into possession of Romulan holographic technology. Can you assist with the research and development of this technology so that the Empire has a decisive advantage over their enemies?"

This mission is sort of a sequel to "Federation Desperation" but one does not need to have played that mission in order to play this one.
Klingon Mission - The 14th Rule of Acquisition
Author: Maziken
Allegiance: Klingon
Project ID: ST-HS7UNE5YT

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is an excellent mission with great map designs, tough glorious battles, and excellent story dialogue. The last battle was very tough and I would not want to try it on Elite level but otherwise I would highly recommend this mission to all Klingon faction players.

Below are just a few things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is an intriguing and well written description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "You are ordered to visit the facility" to read "You are ordered to report to the facility".

Mission Task: Despite the fact that you put the start location of the first custom map in the description and grant dialogue you should also put it in the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Research Facility: This is a good map design. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-There is an NPC that is wandering right in front of the "Computer Translator" console.

Proving Grounds: This is a great map design with some nice battles. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-They are all labeled "Jackal Mastiff". Is this intentional?

Xarantine System: This is a good map design with a glorious battle. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Secret Facility: This is a great map design with some tough but glorious battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Post 2nd holodeck wall in corridor dialogue; consider changing "Sir, I'm readying a large energy signature ahead" to read "Sir, I'm reading a large energy signature ahead".

Secret Facility Redux: This is a good map design and the story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Xarantine Space: This is a great map with a very tough glorious battle, but I would not want to try it on Elite. The story dialogue is well written and a great wrap up to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and it was fun to play. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 06/16/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
06-17-2012, 07:08 AM
Thanks for your report! I will definitely be making those changes. The NPCs in the Training Ground were meant to be named Jackal Mastiffs, if for no other reason than to remind the player that they are all Jackal Mastiffs wearing either a functional or non-functional holo-emitter.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
06-17-2012, 08:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maziken
Thanks for your report! I will definitely be making those changes. The NPCs in the Training Ground were meant to be named Jackal Mastiffs, if for no other reason than to remind the player that they are all Jackal Mastiffs wearing either a functional or non-functional holo-emitter.
I thought you intended to name them that way for that reason. Glad I could help.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
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