Originally Posted by evil70th

Hi chicochavez,

Thanks for the review request. I will try to get to this before the weekend ends but I may not get to it until next week.

I have not been paying attention to the dilithium coming in for my reviews. I use my Vice Admiral character to do most of the reviews and the "Investigate" daily has not been available. I do not know if that is by design or just the option has been removed. Anyway I do not do the reviews for the dilithium. I do it to try and help authors, which makes the game player better.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian

Originally Posted by chicochavez

Hmm, seems you've missed the whole "Foundry War" thing that's been going on for the past month. You're probably better off. At this point the IOR has been removed, now all missions that meet the basic qualifications as before will give out Dilithium based on their length, though its still up to debate whether it is average time for the mission or the players specific time.

Originally Posted by vegeta50024

It was only in the last week, chico. Anyway, the synopsis of the whole "foundry war" debacle that chico mentioned is that the Investigate Officer Reports wrapper has been removed in the latest patch. I think this removal has upset a lot more people than the whole dilithium removal. because of the fact that they were playing the foundry just for the marks. The dilithium is still there, just as an automatic reward as chico has said.

I'll read your feedback a bit later. Thanks for doing it by the way!

Originally Posted by evil70th

Federation Mission - Mirror Invasion: Friend or Foe?
Author: gamerboy100
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJIY47V0Z

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with excellent map designs, fun battles, and well written story dialogue. I would recommend this mission to all players. Your estimate of 20 minutes mission length is more like 45 minutes to an hour with the dialogue, which is not bad with a good story like yours, but you should consider putting in the option to skip dialogue and provide a summary to the player. I have seen this in other missions and used it myself.

In an immersive story the use of the response button "Continue" takes the player along as a passenger vice a participant. Consider drawing the player into the mission by adding more interaction from the player. Realizing that the Foundry is limited in what you can do to have the player more active in conversations, the use of [OOC] dialogue within that conversation gives the author that tool. I have seen it used in other missions and have used it myself. I have used the following;
[OOC][Rank] LastName]:
Story dialogue here.[/OOC]
You can also have additional dialogue after the [OOC] if needed and finish the player response in the response button.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is an intriguing and well written description. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Terrans do for the federation" to read "Terrans do for the Federation".
-Consider changing the "Note" section to [OOC] to make it stand out.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The task consider changing "Rendevous with U.S.S. Dirac" to read "Rendezvous with U.S.S. Dirac".

Mission Task: Consider adding the start location to the initial task to include the sector.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Rhi System: This is a nice simple, but short map with well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "IThe Dirac is hailing us sir" to read "The Dirac is hailing us sir".

Dirac Bridge: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will note the maps this appears on and discuss it in the summary above.

Terran Hostiles: This is a good map design with a fun battle. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Edge of Rhi System: This is a good map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Starbase 93: This is a nicely designed map but maybe a little short and I am not sure if it is needed. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Starbase 93 conference level: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-The "Check out lounge" task seems unnecessary. I understand the purpose of this is to get the player out of the other room while you change it up, however the player does not seem to serve a purpose in the conversation that takes place. I'll cover this in the summary above, regarding use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider moving the trigger that has Tormek beam in. Also consider moving Tormek?s position so that the player walks right in where you currently have Tormek.

Rhi Rumble: This is a good map design with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Following the "Hold back ships" consider changing the "Interact" button to read "Report" or something along those lines.

Lexington Ready Room: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

Originally Posted by vegeta50024

I read through everything, and I was planning on overhauling the lounge portion to include the player, and possibly make the discussion more involved for a player. Captain Travis and Admiral Toren are two of my characters from an Star Trek RPG club that I belong to, while the other two are characters that I got permission to use from the people who own them.

I'll be doing the background to part two as soon as I have the changes to this one finished. I also have an unrelated mission coming up that is a conversion from the one I'm doing on my rpg club as a gamemaster (our term for the campaigns we do there, similar to a DM in D&D). That one though won't be live until the campaign ends, to avoid spoilers from my friends on there who play STO.

And just to let you know, I like being able to play the game. I'm not really bothered by these glitches being hyped up by the people in that 185 page thread in the News section of the forums.

Originally Posted by councilspectre

Mission Name: No Prize for Second Contact
Author: Contactpsi
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HP6UPGBS6
Estimated Mission Length: 25-35 min

A mission review would be fantastic. This is my first foundry mission.

Originally Posted by gammadelta2

I've had this idea for a bit, but was kind of hesitant because of the difficulty in delivery, so I'd appreciate anyone who takes a look at it.

Mission Name: The Engineer's Games
Minimum Level: 46+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HHVMWTJOT
User: gammadelta1
Estimated Mission Length: Your choices play a part but about 30 minutes.

Description:
A trip to a meeting is interrupted with an unexplained emergency in engineering. Your crew requires your attention. But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms?


This mission's combat truly revolves around your choices and ability. It is a ground mission, but I hope you won't hold that against it. And I'm pretty sure ther are no "continue" or "interact" buttons.

Thanks